Aspie Affection

Post Reply New Topic

I have a profile on Aspie Affection, but I'm finding that it isn't much easier for me than dating NT. My empathy doesn't seem to be any more useful here than in the outside world. I know that probably isn't the case for most users because I've tried fanatically for years to understand how NT work. I'm going to ask a series of questions that I'd like people to answer if they have thoughts on it.

Is it generally useful? I don't know how popular or effective the dating website actually is.

How do you find profiles you find interesting? The match maker only seems to look at geographical region, and I seem to have botched it with the 4 girls who live in my state. I've been running through all the new female profiles under the age of 30 weekly to monthly since I got my profile (about 150 days ago), and only found 1 that I can honestly say seems about perfect for me.

How does time work on Aspie Affection? It seems natural to me to message a girl whose profile I think looks interesting with about a 200-300 word message asking about something I found interesting on her profile, and to continue sending messages about half a page in length 2 or 3 times a week afterward. Sometimes I ask if she would be interested in talking to me before sending long messages. Is this too often? It seems like girls sometimes get turned off by the quantity rather than the content of my messages, but I don't want to send too few messages in case she thinks I'm not interested. For people who got what they wanted out of Aspie Affection, how long did it take?

What sorts of topics are appropriate/common for starting conversations?

How do you move relationships from Aspie Affection to real life? I figure maybe this is a silly question because people who like each other probably do this spontaneously in their own way, but I'm asking anyway.

Questions for Women: There are 2 or 3 guys for every girl in Aspie Affection. Does this mean that all the female members get bombarded with messages from more men than they can keep track of? If so, how do you choose which messages to respond to? Anything else guys should know? I think it would be very nice if women told guys if they are disinterested in continuing to talk with or date them. This would save both people a lot of time.

I kind of have several conversations going on with several people, but they usually don't initiate messages, and often respond only as much as necessary given the context of the previous message, but also often respond very quickly and regularly. I don't know what to make of this.

It seems kind of unfortunate that because of the gender imbalance, that at most around 50% of the users will find what they are looking for.

How would you like to be approached outside of Aspie Affection, assuming that you do? It seems easier to talk to people on Aspie Affection because I know (otherwise why would they have a profile) that they are interested in talking to some dude in a romantic way, but I often don't on the rest of wrong planet.

BTW If you're in any way interested in me (even if you're a dude, but I'll have you know that you're not going to get anything more out of me than a kiss if you are) then please do tell me.

I don't really have any autistic people that I can hang around in real life, so I just don't have any idea wtf I'm doing. In my limited experience, it seems to me that aspie women are often like cats in that you should initiate the interaction respectfully and cautiously once and then let them come to you. But my temperament is much more like a dog's, which is rather unfortunate considering how well cats tend to get along with them.

My advice is to abandon AA altogether.

Zero relationships have been made from it.

And a member count of around 5000 (from all over the world) and probably half of the members aren't active makes it futile.

A disproportionate number of women to men doesn't mean all women get bombarded.
I got virtually zero messages during the two years I was on AA-
not many men are interested in a fat asexual woman.

I have no idea how I'd like to be "approached" in real life- it would have to be in the context of someone liking something I'd say somewhere, which would only happen in class (college), or just general mingling and talking about food at the vegan potlucks I occasionally get myself to.

I has no advice.

Aspie Affection is BROKEN Some members are not able to search, log into their accounts or even create new ones. Aspie affection really needs to be taken down. or restarted for scratch

this website blows

Then go elsewhere, and cease bothering the rest of us with less-than-ten-word inane trollish posts.

I think he meant AA? I hope

not trying to troll you guys. the damned site is broken

I'm not familiar with that expression - is it better or worse than "this website sucks"?

2nded. I had at least a couple accounts where at some random point my password wouldn't work, I couldn't delete the account and restart, and tech-support is nonexistent. The only suggestion is get a new email account (its exclusive - one per email address) and by the time your taking out email addresses for the sake of AA and then forgetting the new email passord to request your AA password if you've forgotten it there's just no point.

I think its kind of a shame that the aspie community can't sublease a portion of OKCupid or something like that; only downfall would be that it would likely have to exclude self-dx'd but still, it would be a regularly serviced format and would tell aspies as well how much commonality they have, the blurbs wouldn't be canned, etc. etc.

Asexuals aren't aromantic?

I had a slightly different experience - there were no active women anywhere within 1000km of me, so I gave up on it... yesterday, in fact.

I did find another one called Aspie Connections, though, and I'm wondering if anyone has any experience on that? I don't like the format at all, especially the part where non-subscribers basically have nothing more than a photo and a computer generated profile to go on (you have to subscribe to see the real profile, WTF?). On the other hand, there do seem to be a lot of matches, not that a non-subscriber can see how active anyone is (I'm assuming sub's can?), and it seems as if sending emails is free. I'm just not sure if I should bother with a subscription - it's bad enough when people on an active site don't bother to look at a profile, let alone reply, but it's a complete waste of money when nobody is active.

I feel obligated to say that Aspie Connections is some sort of scam and that I have received over 150 "messages" in the last month - many not even in English and all from just about every country except Australia. In order to read anything beyond the first few lines you need to subscribe. This is quite clearly designed to take advantage of people on the spectrum by making them believe that they've finally found a site with lots of women (and presumably men) that want to speak with them. Caveat emptor.

The two distinct terms hints at the answer, no?

Last edited by ValentineWiggin on 27 Oct 2011, 2:08 am, edited 1 time in total.

Agree about the site functionality, er...lack thereof.
I was unable to check my messages for months, and when I tried to delete my profile, found I couldn't even do that.

To answer your question about answering. When I was on okcupid and received messages I would answer them based on what was written....therefore long message = long response, short message = short response. But I would always throw in one question of my own to keep it going.

As for moving it to real life...several messages on site --->facebook or messenger--->phone----> coffee date

Another thing worth adding (oh by the way I am a girl)...was that one time I was supposed to meet this guy for coffee and last minute he switched it on me and we ended up going to the store...It was definitely better than a coffee date! We got to do things and had things to say rather than awkward small talk.