What to do?

Post Reply New Topic

My son is 14 and has been begging for a Facebook account.

I have been afriad to let him have an account for fear of bullying. He has a hard time reading social ques. He does not understand sarcasam, and just wants friends.

I would love some input from parents of Aspies or Aspies themselves. Am I being too overpertective?

If I choose to allow him to have an account, it is based on the fact that I will monitor it!

My 12-year old dd has had a Facebook account for a number of years. It has caused her problems a number of times, mainly in the chats I don't have access to, and we have to monitor it closely (adjust privacy accounts, check in frequently, encouraging her to block people who are "mean" or "causing drama" which is what we call it, etc.). On the other hand, it has provided her with the kind of companionship and social exchanges that she really enjoys. They're obviously easier for her than face-to-face encounters. On the whole, I would say the bullying that goes on there is about equivalent to the schoolyard. It may be harder to avoid (in that it follows you home), but it's also easier to delete messages or block people.
J.

My 15 year old daughter has ASD and her Facebook account caused us more grief than anything else. She was under the care of a Psychologist for a few years and she told us that 95% of the kids they see have issues relating to Facebook.

If you are going to do it I would have very strict rules and monitor his usage carefully. I limited my daughter to 30 Facebook friends including her Youth Group contacts so she know has no problems with it at all because she culled it from over 100 friends and all of the drama queens were the first to go.

My son has a facebook account he is 13yrs we have had no issues with it.

Wouldn't that make it easier to avoid? The real trouble with bullying in school is that (a) you're required to keep going back to where the bullies are every single day and (b) they tend to inflict physical injury. Online, they can't lay a finger on you and they're much easier to avoid.

Generally, my daughter has been able to avoid the physical bullies in the schoolyard, with the help of us and some teachers. (She can choose to stay inside, stick close to a teacher or find a teacher when there's a problem, gets picked up directly when dismissed, etc.) There are days I think it would be nice if she didn't have contact with anyone outside the family when she came home from school, in real time or in cyberspace... She finds it hard to stay away from the Facebook chat function, and the kids were even saying nasty things on her page. She doesn't want to unfriend or block certain people because she hopes they'll be nicer to her in the future. But I do find she is more confident when dealing with online issues, and yes, you're right, the lack of physical threat is important.
J.

I don't know what would be best for a 14 year old, but his maturing must be recognized at some point. Facebook accounts seem inevitable these days. Lifes difficulties are more easily addressed in a safe structured environment with trusted people willing to help you. Perhaps it might be wiser to ask other parents what to expect and how they have dealt with it in their homes. Prepare yourself.