Fullofstars wrote:
... and totally lost. Obviously, flirtation is NOT working. I flirt and I flirt and I desperately flirt, and he just keeps coming back with science and biology. If he was an NT guy I'd just assume he was taken or not interested, but in this case ????? I don't know how to gauge his interest, which would normally be the first step in moving forward (or not). Normally, people acknowledge their interest in one another without stating it outright. This way, they can get to know each other without feeling as if there's an unwritten contract binding them. But in the AS world, it seems as if things must be made overt in order to be understood.
I don't think I can do that. For one thing, NTs approach eachother slyly so that if we are rejected, the rejection is also sly. That way we can all pretend it never happened, and keep our egos in tact. Second: he works in a public place that I frequently attend with my small daughter. I don't want to make him feel uncomfortable, since my daughter and I will continue to be present at the place where he works. I also scoped this forum for a couple of weeks before posting this and I'm fairly sure he isn't here. I'd hate to impose on someone's private interspace.
If you're wondering how I know he's an Aspie, let's just say... I know. Russian astronauts can probably see it from space. I have experience in this realm, it just isn't romantic experience. He works, he drives, he lives with his parents. This is all the info I have to go on, but I don't know how significant it is. I'm so lost.
Just to be clear, since there's such a broad range in the AS world: I knew he was an Aspie within .05 seconds of first meeting him. There are many people in my family and extended family who are in he autism spectrum. If you're wondering why I don't just ask them for advice, the answer is: they are all either too young or too anti-social to understand romantic relationships. I worry that this might also be the case with this guy, but how do I know? And how do I express interest without either making him horribly uncomfortable, or perhaps making him him think that I want a relationship, without first having a "getting to know you" phase?
How should I put it?
Mature females flirting me didn't work in my past adulthood life because of the following reasons in scenarios with different Nts women. One time, the woman was flirting with me, and I understood it but was socially (family issues) and financially wasn't ready for a relationship talk. The second moment, a female was flirting with me but she was with a friend of her, so therefore I interpreted this as false flirting and ignored her. Another woman was approaching me and apparently wanted to start a conversation in probably in hope to be ask for a name and phone number but wasn't socially and financially ready to proceed.
Therefore, my opinion is that he is not ready socially or/both financially. I have nothing against bookworm or those who are in-dept knowledge of biology and science, but he think more about biology and science than girls. On the other hand, Asperger and autistic people are known to be socially delayed and talks the interest than the universal interests that should connect you and him. I have that same issue before I got socially advance.
28 Sep 2011, 9:06 pm
