Brushing up against people?

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Can anyone tell me if walking into/brushing up against people is an AS trait? My 6 year old son does it all the time. I am worried that he will walk into someone elderly and knock them down?

Yes, my son does this too!

I think it's because he is completely unconcerned about others to the extent that he simply doesn't see them. Even if he bumps into people he doesn't seem aware that he might have hurt them or startled them.

Another, I think related thing he has done since very small is to walk over or stand on things that are in his way but not really obstructive. This was one thing I did notice early on and think odd. The first time I remember noticing it we were out for a coffee and I put my shopping bags and jacket on the floor between my chair and the glass panel next to us, overlooking the ground floor of the shop. My son went to look through the glass at people below us and just stood on my jacket and bags as if they weren't there. I remember at the time thinking how strange that was, and he still does it!

On the bumping/brushing up against people - have you figured out why he does this? I've seen children do this, too, and generally it has been a sensory-seeking behavior. "Typical" instruction of "how would you feel if ..." won't work, but direct instruction of "if you bump into people who are not strong enough, "x" could happen," can be very effective. But you have to be very direct (and kind!), literally accurate, and clear. Don't use implications, guilt, inferences or the like - it will only confuse the child.

On the stepping on things - I haven't seen this, but I have seen its opposite: a child standing still, and not negotiating around an obstacle, no matter how small or easy to get around - including not saying "excuse me" to a person in his way.

It's definitely a sensory-seeking behavior. Try giving him lots of appropriate sensory input.

its very common for asd kids to have sensory issues. there are two different things that come to mind as a reason for his behavior, but both have the same cause. the cause would be sensory dysfunction, and the reasons would be a) to seek sensory input to help determine the body's position in space or b) because he simply doesnt always know where his body is in space.

my son does both, he often doesnt know where he is in relation to his surroundings, so he will trip over things, stand on them, bump into them, etc. he also is a huge sensory seeker, especially when already in sensory overload, so he bounces, spins, touches everything, and will even jog into the wall and repeatedly bump his body against it. deep pressure contact helps a lot if its sensory seeking, weighted items, bear hugs, etc. and for not knowing where his body is, just reminding him to watch where he is and to try not to bump into people.

Hi Marcia - yes my son always stands on things and seems to go out of his way to tread on them.

He also gets attached to objects and will not let me throw them out - if I do a major meltdown happens. Do you find this too? Any suggestions on how to help?

I don't know about the brushing and standing stuff - seems those questions have been answered. I've always attatched a great importance to objects though. I also hate having things thrown out. My father would, from time to time, storm my room and "clean". It made me very angry at him and made me feel very helpless.

The best explination I can give is that to me, things are like photo albums are to other people. You look at a picture and remember the people or the beach or the sunny weather. I look at an ugly bland gray rock with a tiny little dimple in it - and I remember that that was the last time I ever saw Gramma. You throwing that rock away is throwing that memory out; denying me that moment. Stealing it from me.

One of my biggest regrets in my adult life (as pertains to this topic anyhow) was not having the gall to ask for the cushion off my grampa's chair after he died. To me, there were three things that reminded me of Grampa (pictures are just pictures - they hold nothing) 1. Raspberries: He had a GREAT garden... and raspberries bring back countless memories of picking in the garden and all sorts of other things. 1. The big fugly green armchair he would ALWAYS be sittting in (by the door) when we arrived. Never failed. It was his perch. 3. The cushion off his kitchen chair. It was the only chair with a cushion on it, and it was this tattered brown, stained, cigarette burned thing. But it embodied every family meal (thanksgivings, xmases, birthdays, etc) that we ever ate at gramdmas. It was cornbread, chex cereal at breakfast, his "pass the salt" joke where he would pass the salt shaker right by you and put it back where he got it. Just thinking of it symbolizes/triggers all these memories... a whole universe of memories relating to him. To Grandma. To that house. To my Aunts and Uncles. You take that away from me and I'll forget to remember these things. In fact, I havent thought of any of these things in years... your question made me think of the cushion... I'm going to go be emotional now. Memories are what builds us, teaches us, reminds us what is important in life. Memories are triggered by objects/songs/smells/touches... these objects ground us and remind us...

I shut up now.
But you get the idea?
Don't burn my photo album.
Try and decide what is acceptable to keep.
Try and get your kid to decide what memories can be remembered without the objject.
Sort objects with no hurry. Let him tell you the story behind the object.
Let him decide which ones can stay out, and which ones hes comfortable putting into a "memory box" in the basement... And which ones can be "shifted" into/onto other objects of a similar nature.... the cushion reminds me of the tweeting xmas ornament and the bronze cat, and the tree that had to be cut down one year.... of carrots. I didn't need all those things: I fixed on one object to represent them all: The memories are centered on the cushion. A cushion which, sadly, was probably thrown out. If I had that cushion maybe I'd me more likely to call Grandma more often (she's still alive) but... yeah well this might all sound silly and "you could call your grandma anytime even without a cushion" but this is how I am.

Logic and reason don't always work.
I'll never understand how a picture's worth a thousand words.
I'll always remember Nicky Brandon (back 25? years now) because I have this stupid white plastic elephant (taken off some booze bottle probably) that he gave me ages ago, telling me how it was a good luck charm and teaching me how to make a mixture of (mostly eno and other household whatever) to reinforce the magic of it. Lolz.. and the tree fort and Grandad (the other one) who build the treefort and my dog (a few years later) who Grandad hated and... see? Can you get that from a picture stuffed in a book shoved in a closet?

Now I really shut up.

It's not an AS trait. It's just his own personal personality trait which he's more inclined to do because he doesn't understand what is socially appropriate and what isn't as well as other children.

Someone probably brushed up against him accidentally one and he liked the way it felt.

Dear Oddfiction - I thank you so so so much for your beautiful insight! I am so happy that you are willing to share your thoughts with me. I have a deeper understanding now of my son and will take much more time with him discussing his objects and working our way around what we can do with them.

I think it is very typical of someone with sensory issues. My son doesn't grasp where he is in relation to other people. My son is always bumping people and things. He always invades personal space. He only likes to hug if he can squeeze me to death.

Sounds like a sensory issue to me. Not understanding where you are in space,not having a good sense of balance and movement, those are very common AS traits. I still bump into people accidentally far more than I would like, and that's even when I'm consciously trying not to. Sensory seeking is certainly another possibility,I would say it's one or the other or even both.