Red Flags on a man

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This is for the ladies and gay people (and men who feel like they can contribute to the conversation).

What would you find to be a red flag on a man? It could be from his ugliness to his religious beliefs to the way he acts, share your thoughts about this and don't be afraid of thinking your "shallow", all of us have something shallow about us.

Being pre-occupied with what people look like, any comment about liking girls (thinking of women as girls is another one, actually) who "take care of themselves" (read: "fatties need not apply"), a conformist or conservative mindset, attraction to violence as entertainment, defensiveness or personally-insulting when his views are challenged, not introspective or emotionally-aware

Red Flags for Dating

Avoid the man if he displays any of these behaviors:

1. He is living in his mother’s house for more than a couple of months.

2. He drives an expensive car, but rents an apartment, a studio, or (worse yet) a room from a friend.

3. He says he has a family, but isn't forthcoming with any details about them, especially about any children.

4. He insists that every date involve his friends, especially if he pays more attention to them than you on your "date".

5. He is always the one who’s overdressed for the occasion; such as flashy jewelry and expensive suits to a ballgame (in the bleachers?).

6. He is constantly spending money on you without regard to price (i.e., clothes, trips, jewelry) and he can’t afford it.

7. He constantly asks to “hold” (borrow) some money, expects you to pay for the date that he asked for, or simple stiffs you for the bill.

8. He has little or no respect for your personal boundaries, whether physical, financial, territorial, political, or religious.

9. He says he has a job but can’t articulate exactly what it is he does for a living.

10. He talks about himself than more about he inquires about you, especially if he seems obsessed with all of the people that have hurt him in the past.

Last edited by Fnord on 03 Oct 2011, 6:08 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Could you give an example of what you mean by "Beign pre-occupied with what people look like" and who "take care of themselves" (read: "fatties need not apply")? Sort of confused on the both of those.

says he's a nice guy
asks who every man you talk to is
makes you feel guilty about something in a way that leaves you no choice but his choice
exceptionally rude to his mother
questions something you're wearing
ubersmoothness
inhabits a betting shop when no major sporting events are occuring
too groomed

Egoists. It doesn't get better and their self-image always needs attention.

Never dated one but I know the type.

One guy once wrote in his profile "I like to shop at high end retail stores". Or if they mention that they just bought a very expensive car as if the woman should be impressed. It usually gives me the impression they want a trophy girlfriend and not a relationship with substance.

Someone who is interested in PUA stuff and has strange, chauvinistic attitudes towards women. Someone who is always checking out other females.

More Red Flags for Dating

Avoid the man if he displays any of these behaviors:

11. He seems more interested in your under-aged relatives (boys and girls) than in you.

12. He seems more interested in your sister, mother, or other female relative than in you.

13. He can not stop staring at your breasts, whether or not you've put them on display.

14. He gets angry when you ask him about his past.

15. He wants you to stop seeing your relatives.

16. He insists that you attend religious services with him without telling anyone else where you are going.

17. He refuses to show you the pictures in his wallet.

18. He puts down your interests.

19. He tells you to do things instead of asking you (i.e., "Shut up!" or "Hurry up!" or "Get in the car!").

20. He seems to be carrying a weapon, handcuffs, or a roll of duct tape.

does every man have pictures in his wallet

Just a few off the top of my head: lives at home without motivation or desire to move out at any point, bad temper and/or history of physical violence, abuses drugs and alcohol, overly critical, has children he does not care for financially or wish to see often, is someone you do not feel comfortable being yourself around (trust your instincts!), needs to know where you are and where you're going at all times and I could go on like this ...

ah, everyone's so heavy on the homeboys

Finding out that he murdered his last wife?

I do, and a lot of other men do too - pictures of wives, children, pets, cars, or any combination thereof. Some guys carry pictures of their current girlfriends, too...

More Red Flags for Dating

Avoid the man if he displays any of these behaviors:

21. He refuses to show you his driver's license.

22. He has no driver's license, or any other form of picture identification to show you.

23. He becomes nervous or evasive (or both) when he spots a police officer.

24. His pupils are unusually dilated or constricted.

25. He stops at the curb outside your home to pick you up, and lays on the horn until you come out.

26. He reeks of alcohol or marijuana (or both), especially if he is driving.

27. He doesn't take you any place near where he says he lives.

28. He suddenly wants to avoid being seen (recognized?) in a public place.

29. He wears long-sleeved shirts on a hot day (Tattoos? Needle marks? Fingernail scratches?).

30. He says: "Fnord sent me".

Are women supposed to demand to see photo id on dates? I'm afraid I've been remiss ...

fnord is teaching us how to spot a felon from 20paces