I cannot express how appreciative I am for this site.

Post Reply New Topic

Hello,

I am new here, I just found the site today, and for the first time in a long time I marveled at what good the internet can do. To be honest, (and I think the point of being anonymous is to be honest) I do not have any true connections with any other people. I have a loving and wonderful boyfriend, who despite himself, cannot truly understand, and besides that, not one other friend. I just moved out of my parent's house, turned eighteen, and started studying Biology/Pre-Med at University. I found it easy to talk to my mom when I was living with her, but I cannot talk to anybody over the phone. The rest of my family doesn't understand why I don't call them or why I ignore their calls- just the thought of talking to somebody on the phone makes me sick to my stomach and I don't know why. My whole life I have ignored people- not because I don't care, but because I react terribly when I don't. As a child, my mom tried to force me (lovingly) to notice other children who said Hi to me or tried to invite me to play with them, and I hated every minute of it. I was moved around the world (literally) several times as a young adult, and now (I guess I'm still a young adult), I am friendless and hopeless. I just cannot preform the necessary actions involved in becoming friends with somebody. I consider myself to be of a fine intelligence and I cannot talk to or listen to anybody who isn't. Please, I know this makes me sound like a terrible person, but it isn't something that I control. All these things give me a very rotten view of myself, and I have struggled for a long time with eating disorders and depression. I am afraid that I may be sick in the head- not just autistic, but truly psychotic and maybe even just plain bad. I am a musician, but have lost interest in sitting down and writing music. I definitely notice a change for the better when I smoke green, but as a college student I have no money to buy it. (First world problem, I know). Anyway, I have to cut this short (or at least, shortER) because my boyfriend is arriving home from work. Thank you in advance to anybody who reaches out- I already feel like I am a part of something.

-E

i'm wondering about the pre-med major. i have asperger's and practiced medicine for nine years, but was eventually forced to quit due being unable to deal with to hospital politcs. are you planning to do research or some other limited-human-interaction specialty? even in pathology and radiology, you will have to deal with other doctors, who can be very judgmental.

i was also extremely tired all the time from working very hard to empathetically be with people for so many hours per day. i work with people now, but it's part-time. i tried to get a part-time doctor's job, but no one wanted to hire me under those circumstances.

lots of your fellow pre-meds should be smart enough for you to relate to. give some of them a try.

BTW, i loved being a biology major. you're in for loads of fun

Welcome. You sound like me in some ways. I hate talking on the phone and ignore people, well, just because that's what I do. It's nice to find others in this community who have the same tendencies.

Welkome to WP!

Mick