Things never seem to look up

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Im not sure what to try anymore, it always seems the more I try the less thigs look in my way. And its not just in one specific area of my life, its in all of them. I dont see why try anymore seeing it only goes downhill. people tell me to just stick around and things will change but its been maybe 7 years since theyve been telling me those things and the feelings are the same and the situations are generally the same. I dont get why anymore.

Dude - have you ever considered being treated for depression?

I'm not just a jackhole saying "take a pill" - I'm speaking from direct personal experience.

When I was little younger than you I got into therapy, things improved a bit but then I kind of hit a wall so my psychologist suggested I see a psychiatrist. I was totally against the idea of medication, but I was desperate at that point and would try anything. They put me on SSRI's, which didn't work at first but we kept experimenting until we found the right molecule at the right dosage.

It didn't turn me into a "zombie" like I feared, it just gave me my motivation back to go out in the world and kick ass - and I did. It's probably the single best thing I have ever done for myself.

You're high functioning, smart, and have a lot of resources to draw from - you've got a ton of potential - you ought to look at every possible angle to find a way forward...

Good luck!

i was forced to see a couple in the past year. Threw many pills all at max allowed dosage and none did crap. I dont think any will make a difference when the reason for my depression is seeing how much i manage to f**k things up. I dont think theres a pill for that.

This is why I ignore people when they tell me to go see an doctor/psychiatrist. They wouldn't do anything but give me a bunch prescriptions for stuff I don't have, and none of it would make any difference.

i don't have any answers for you. but i have (((((hugs)))))

I picked up a subject that took a lot of work so it could help when I needed to think something through.

mind explaining what you mean a bit?

Maybe, with the anxiety/depression, you can't think things through properly to stop things from going wrong.

anxiety/depression are not things ive had till lately. yet the issues have been here for longer

Have you even got a plan for your life? What exactly are you trying to accomplish?

not found a reason to plan. my plans never follow as they should. im like a walking example of murphys law.

So your plan is: failure?

If there's one thing I've learned about success, it's probably 5% luck, 10% talent, 20% hard work and the rest is being too f*cking stubborn to give up. 7 years is nothing, you're not even close to running out of time.

Just do it, fail, repeat, until you win: you can fail 1,000 times because you only have to succeed once.

This isn't bullsh*t, I'm speaking from personal experience.

which then falls into the why bother part of my post.

This isn't getting anywhere so I'll say one more thing and then shut up.

You're not accepting fate, you're making a choice.

Fate can kiss my ass.

i dont believe in fate.

You never know what's around the corner, and how much someone's life can change in such a short time.

Grisha speaks sense.

Tell me, what are your interests, and what are you good at? And don't say "nothing" because I know that isn't true.