Hello, and Why I Joined WP

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Hi! I am here to learn more about how to deal with confusing social situations, issues surrounding my sensitivity to noise, and a lot of my other "quirks." I have read a lot about Asperger's and autism in recent weeks, and I definitely have some traits. I had read a bit about autism before, and even though I noticed that some of what I read described me to some extent, I also (erroneously, I suspect) believed that people with autism/Asperger's did not have a sense of humour and were not emotional. I thought, "Hey, that can't be me - I'm extremely emotional (what I mean is that I express emotions very strongly when I am upset), and even though I sometimes miss other people's humour by taking them literally, some people find my somewhat strange sense of humour funny." By asking some people I trust a few questions, I found out that I can look terrified in situations in which I actually feel only mildly anxious, and that my facial expression does not always match how I'm feeling. I've known for ages that when I "smile" for a photo, I end up with a weird expression on my face that looks nothing like how I think I look. I also read an online article (forget where - sorry) that said girls with Asperger's are often very quiet and compliant in school as a way of dealing with social confusion and not wanting to stand out - that is exactly how I was in grades K-12. Of course, that was in the 1970s and early 1980s, and I doubt if any teacher would have associated my behaviour with any kind of autism.

Anyway, this is turning into a long-winded post. Now that I am aware of a group of people who have issues similar to mine, I am hoping I can have some fruitful online discussions with them about how they handled awkward social situations, what books they've read that have been helpful to them, etc. I'm also hoping I can tell others what worked for me if I have solved a problem similar to theirs. I find that in my life I expend huge amounts of emotional energy just trying to figure out where people are "coming from" and I have an especially difficult time if someone is indirect in what I think is a weird way (in particular people I suspect - rightly or not - of having a hidden agenda or playing some sort of game).

By the way, my username, "fragment," doesn't mean anything in particular. I read the advice on online privacy before I joined - I am an extremely private person and feel strongly about control over my privacy (I've always been that way, but I am even more wary now due to a huge betrayal of my trust that happened a few years back). I did not want to use a username I have in any other forum, and so I picked my username by letting a book fall open and scanning the page for some innocuous word - "fragment" stood out.

Welkome to WP!

Mick

To WrongPlanet!! !

Welcome!! !! First, I can recommend this book called Apergirls: Empowering Females with Asperger Syndrome. Since you have some the symptoms and it really does sound like you have some form of Autism or even AS, this is worth a read. Asperger Syndrome is more well known now but I was diagnosed at 15 when it was starting to get recognition. The best I can tell you is that I think identifying girls with AS is different because, for example, the boys at my high school dealt with AS differently.

Thanks to all of you for welcoming me! I just got back from the bookstore and Aspergirls was one of the books I looked at. It looks really good and I might buy it in the future (I think it is also at my local library). I wound up buying Asperger Syndrome and Social Relationships - Adults Speak Out about Asperger Syndrome edited by Genevieve Edmonds and Luke Beardon, and Living Well on the Spectrum - How to Use Your Strengths to Meet the Challenges of Asperger Syndrome/High-Functioning Autism by Valerie Gaus. The books by Tony Attwood also looked helpful.

I've also updated my profile so that people will know my age. Animegal86, I assume you are a lot younger and I am glad that there is more awareness of AS/HFA now so that more young people will get early diagnosis and the right kind of help. At my age I still struggle with telling the difference between a friend engaging in "friendly" teasing and someone teasing to be mean. I actually learned something from one of the videos in the Aspie TV section of this site that was meant for school kids. Kinda embarrassing....

I just bought Living Well on the Spectrum today. I am impressed at how well the author explains everything. I'm not having to read and reread to comprehend it which is a major plus. I also appreciate the positive spin she puts on everything.

Something very unusual for the self-help/psychology genre of books is her inclusion of what to do if things still don't work out well for you. Well worth the $20!! I'll have to check out the other books you mentioned. No need to wait for an official diagnosis to get help from these books.