Why won't anyone refer to me as "it"?

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I don't feel female. I usually have a strong resistance to the idea of me being female, or doing things "because I'm female," or wearing a dress/makeup/skirt, etc. The only time when I even remotely feel female is when I'm on my period, and only at certain times--usually the ones where I'm not in a fetal position and throwing up from the pain of my menstrual cramps. I have no identififcation with females as a group.
Also, I feel male a lot. A lot of times, I want a penis, and I always want my leg hair to be longer than that of males. I also get really happy when I am mistaken for a biological male, and I really want testosterone because I feel like I'm not masculine enough without it. I also want big, bulgey, strong muscles--the kind people without much testosterone can't get without steroids. I don't feel male all the time--sometimes I feel just like a person, and I don't think about feeling male or female. Other times, I feel very strongly male, and a very, VERY small minority of the time, I feel female.

I don't know if I'm transgender or not, and I can't find out until my brother (now four) is no longer under the control of my mom, since she says that she will not let him see me again if I "pursue" it (it's a long story, but basically she thinks I may be influenced by my sociopath ex). She does, however, believe that I have a strong male side. She believes that I may not be completely female. I get frustrated a lot because I can't wear a binder anymore because my mom took it away, and I want people to not feel sorry for me when they mistake me for a male.

In light of all this, I have asked people to use the pronoun "it" when referring to me several times, but they won't do it. They think it's insulting for some reason, and I want them to not so they can refer to me as "it." How can I get them to at least refer to me as "it"?

Because calling someone an "it" is seen as an insult just about by everyone. They might feel uncomfortable calling you an it. It would be like having a black person asking to be called the N word. If it bothers you so much see a psychologist to see if you should have your breasts and genitals removed or changed if you and a psychologist thinks it is a good idea. If you look like a female you will be addressed as such, I have really long hair and I am a male there has been a few times people have called me miss by mistake when approaching me from behind. I think the gender neutral title is neuter but I am not sure about that.

Last edited by Todesking on 17 Oct 2011, 6:34 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I'm just scared my mom will take me away from my brother. He's my baby, and he sees me as another parent. I know that part of the reason she doesn't want me to do it is because she doesn't want to remind him of my ex, who he trusted a lot and grieved over after my ex attempted to murder me.

An 'it' refers to an inanimate object. Are you an inanimate object? Then you are an 'It'.

Have you ever read the book 'A Child Called "It"'? You might realise then why it's seen as degrading by many people.

Whatever you choose as an identifier, I suggest that 'It' isn't a very good start.

Really? To me, "it" is the pronoun used for anything whose gender is not known. For example, people often refer to bugs as "it" because they don't know their genders. Also, bacteria generally have no gender, so people refer to them as "it." My gender is not known. Why can't I be referred to as "it" like bugs and bacteria?

I rest my case.

Do you want to be seen as akin to bugs or bacteria?

It doesn't bother me at all.

...is this one of those NT things where they think that one living creature is somehow not as deserving of respect as another living creature? This only makes me want people to call me "it" even more, so that they can learn that creatures people normally refer to as "it" are our equals.

Also, I would not like to start an argument about this where we fight over whether or not non-humans are our equals.

Well, if you want people to associate you with agents that cause illness, disease and death, is a danger to humankind and is something most people would like to eradicate off the face of the Earth then that's up to you. Most people are at least tangentially sane and would take extreme offence to being thought of like that.

HEY. Less than 10% of insect species actually cause illness, disease, and death, and there are a lot of bacteria that save our lives. And surely even NTs wouldn't make the association of it=bug/bacteria=disease=bad; from what I've seen, it's rare that they think that associatively. Then again, NTs are very surprising sometimes--some of them want me to be ashamed of my Asperger's Syndrome.

But back on topic, are there any other reasons that NTs don't want to call me "it"? I want to know all of them so I can tell the NTs why those reasons are wrong.

How about "they" used in the singular? I do this all the time because I don't like mentioning people's gender (he/she) for no reason. It confuses some people but.

Your best bet would be to ask some NTs, don't you think?

I suspect the objections to referring to you as "it" will be along the lines that Tequila has already given.
Firstly and most obviously - you're a person and therefore not an "it". Getting into the finer details about what gender you appear to be to others and how you feel about your gender comes later - but you'll still never be an "it".
And while it may not matter to you, it will matter to others.

Well, at least it seems to mean they like me; they think bugs and bacteria are Bad, and they don't want to associate me with Bad, so they think I'm Good, right?

I just wish I weren't automatically "she" because of my stupid breasts. They started growing when I was nine, and now, at the age of seventeen, they've FINALLY stopped at size 42D. When I tried to wear a binder, it just made it look like I had small breasts instead of no breasts. This reminds me, does anyone know how to make breasts smaller? Are there possibly exercizes that make them small, or are there only exercizes to make breasts bigger? Also, remember that breast reduction surgery is not an option for me.

I'm really glad you're a nice person like that, but I can't use your way because of my upbringing. I thought about it, but I speak Starndard Written English, and Correct Grammar was drilled into my soul when I was younger. For this reason, it bothers me too much to use a plural pronoun in the singular.

Have you considered asking people to refer to you as "he" instead of "she"? If you tell them you identify as male despite your feminine appearance (at least I say that with the assumption that your appearance is somewhat feminine), then if they want to show respect for you they will probably comply. I have a classmate who identifies as male but is physically female and not transsexual, and my classmates and I refer to him as "he" even though he is very obviously female.

And if you are uncomfortable with being called "he", you could just reject pronouns altogether and ask that people just refer to you by name.

Tellya wutt ... you gitcher one o'them thar complete neuterizations AND a pre-frontal lobotomy, and I'll be more'n happy ta call ya "IT"!

ool dont ask to be called it. there was a book called a boy called it (tongue twister!)

also that tends to be a pronoun for somebody of ambiguois gender or an oblect rather than a person. there was a herm we called it because it had no difinitive gender!