Which sorry?

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Funny but embarrassing story:

My dog died recently, and I was talking to a friend of the family. She told me she was sorry about the dog. My prepared response to "sorry" has always been "it's all right", since "sorry" almost always represents apologizing. So in response, I told her it's all right. It was only ten awkward seconds later that I realized that I'd told her I blamed her for the dead dog instead of thanking her for her sympathy. Aaaah. Life sucks sometimes.

I'm like that, too. I would almost always say "it's Ok" - like re-assuring them it was ok that they made a mistake instead of saying thankyou.

I get alot of funny looks from people.. conversations are so hard.

I've never understood that either.
When I was about 12 our house was robbed. Someone at school said to me "oh I'm sorry." So I said, "well you didn't do it right?"
Very Awkward.

I know now that people say thankyou. I've seen it on TV, but it always seems wrong. Am I thanking them for feeling bad or just for saying what they are supposed to say?

I do that all the time; my default response is also "it's okay".

Well, you are better than me, because I did not realize saying "it's all right" implied that until you explained it just now.

I also say that as a default response, it's like one of my programmed responses for certain dialogues.



I sometimes say "It's not your fault" if someone apologizes for something that happens. This usually takes them by surprise, though I never knew what the appropriate thing to say was. They always say "I don't mean that it's my fault, I'm just sorry it happened to you."

After my grandfather died, recently, I asked my mother why everyone said "sorry" to all the relatives. She explained it means "my condolences" or "my sympathies for your pain," and that made a lot more sense to me.

'Sorry' is one of those phrases that I often fail to respond to at all. I don't really know what context people are saying sorry in and so don't know what to say in reply. If someone knocks into me and says sorry then I say 'It's okay' but other than that I am usually thrown. Wish the English language had a different word for each context, then I might understand peoples intentions a bit better.

Suppose the word sorry isn't always an apology but can be to express sympathy and things.

Confusion reigns!!

I'm definitely the one to respond with 'It's all right' when someone says 'sorry'... it's like some sort of forced habit because someways I have started to think it was an expected response.

Wow, I never really realized that either. "It's all right" is always my automatic response to "I'm sorry."

I'm always confused about how to respond to a lot of common social courtesies! For example, it took me a very long time to realize when they asked me how I'm doing, they really only mean to say hello. Why don't they just say hello?

I didn't know that either...

It may make more sense in that you know why they are saying "sorry", but that doesn't make it a sensible thing to say. When my father-in-law died I said "I'm going to miss him." It may be a stereotypically direct thing to say, but I would have felt artificially stupid saying something meaningless like "I'm sorry".

Usually I just don't bother to go to funerals. Some people at work challenged me once when I didn't go to the funeral for one of our co-workers who died in a car accident. I told them that I didn't need to see the casket in order to believe he was dead, that I didn't need to hear eulogies to recognise the value of his life, and that skipping his funeral wouldn't make me miss him any less. They said I was supposed to go for their benefit, not his or mine. I guess they need a big crowd to validate the time investment they made in getting to know him. For me, knowing him was reward enough.

I agree with you about funerals Jetson. Very well said. I have gone to many, many funerals because friends or family pressure me into going. I would rather celebrate life while they are here.

My signature response most of the time is "No Problem"...

It doesn't always fit, but its the saying I am the most comfortable with. No Problem doesn't really follow after saying I'm Sorry, but it works. And, hey at least it is a response. I would never be able to come up with the proper response in the time that one is expected in....