Can we just get rid of this forum?

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Lonermutant
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24 Oct 2011, 6:51 am

I don't see the need for the "Love and dating forum". If you can't get a girl-/boyfriend, it's all about genetics, not social skills. We are not genetically programmed to have friends, to date, have sex or to have children. We are all genetically programmed to be loners without any need for social contact with other people and therefore most of us lack the need for friendship and lack any feeling of lonelyness.
The majority of the posts I see here are from desperate men who are unable to live up to "being normal". If you are tormented by your sex drive, either stick to porn or get chemically castrated! Quit bothering people with the fact that you can't get laid. Yes, I know I've been the same way, but I've accepted that I'm unable to get anyone into bed.



sacrip
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24 Oct 2011, 7:33 am

Everything you just said is wrong.


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Grisha
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24 Oct 2011, 7:35 am

I am certainly open to your premise that some of us may be "genetically" incapable of forming romantic relationships of any sort, but I do see the ability to complain about it in this forum as an extremely useful coping mechanism.

If it bothers you, avoid it, I avoid PPR for exactly that reason.



Simonono
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24 Oct 2011, 7:47 am

It is social skills and genetics.



Lonermutant
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24 Oct 2011, 8:00 am

Simonono wrote:
It is social skills and genetics.


No, it's purely genetic programming. I don't believe in teaching social skills.



Burzum
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24 Oct 2011, 8:05 am

Lonermutant wrote:
No, it's purely genetic programming. I don't believe in teaching social skills.

Do you also not believe in teaching language? It is the exact same premise. Most animals are born knowing their language instinctively. Humans are taught language. Now simply apply this concept to aspies vs NTs for body language, etc.



Lonermutant
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24 Oct 2011, 8:08 am

Burzum wrote:
Lonermutant wrote:
No, it's purely genetic programming. I don't believe in teaching social skills.

Do you also not believe in teaching language? It is the exact same premise. Most animals are born knowing their language instinctively. Humans are taught language. Now simply apply this concept to aspies vs NTs for body language, etc.


I don't believe that one can learn to be social or to get friends.



DeanAdamFry
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24 Oct 2011, 8:16 am

Lonermutant wrote:
Can we just get rid of this forum?


[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lITBGjNEp08[/youtube]



The_Face_of_Boo
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24 Oct 2011, 8:55 am

Not a very bad idea, I admit.



myth
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24 Oct 2011, 8:57 am

OP, clearly you don't think this forum is very useful and that's your prerogative. However, I think there are quite a few members who do find this forum useful. I think you have a point that a lot of it just comes to complaining about not being able to get laid.. but there should be a place to express those sorts of feelings too in my opinion. In the years that this has been here, there have been some useful topics and people who want advice in the romance department, and not all of it is about learning social skills. For those reasons I do think this forum has uses for some people.

So, to me, the obvious conclusion is that you just stop visiting this place since it isn't of use to you.


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hyperlexian
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24 Oct 2011, 9:38 am

some people have gotten valuable assistance on everything from relationships, dating profiles, personal care, self-esteem, etc....
some people have even matched up on this site. it's a support forum, so it can be helpful not only for those people successful at getting dates, but also for those members who lack the success or who choose not to date.

many people can learn certain social skills. maybe not everyone can get to the point of being like an NT in this regard, but a lot of improvement is possible - personally, i am getting better all the time.

i kind of think you are applying your own issues to all aspies, which is frankly inaccurate. we are individual people with individual problems that may or may not overlap with other members. we weren't spawned as identical beings with identical issues.


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MrEGuy
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24 Oct 2011, 9:56 am

Change the channel if you don't like the programming.



MetalAspie
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24 Oct 2011, 10:01 am

Lonermutant wrote:
I don't see the need for the "Love and dating forum". If you can't get a girl-/boyfriend, it's all about genetics, not social skills. We are not genetically programmed to have friends, to date, have sex or to have children. We are all genetically programmed to be loners without any need for social contact with other people and therefore most of us lack the need for friendship and lack any feeling of lonelyness.


Wow, then I guess I should just ignore all the women at my school who are constantly flirting with me and throwing themselves at me. I guess I should stop sleeping in girls dorms and hooking up with them. I guess I should stop dancing with girls at parties, I guess I should stop going on dates. Because apparently I'm not "genetically programmed" to do that kind of thing, so I should just stop pretending like all these girls at my school are actually attracted to me, because clearly they aren't because I have aspergers.

I also guess I should stop hanging out with all my friends too huh?



Last edited by MetalAspie on 24 Oct 2011, 10:33 am, edited 1 time in total.

Grisha
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24 Oct 2011, 10:09 am

MetalAspie wrote:
Lonermutant wrote:
I don't see the need for the "Love and dating forum". If you can't get a girl-/boyfriend, it's all about genetics, not social skills. We are not genetically programmed to have friends, to date, have sex or to have children. We are all genetically programmed to be loners without any need for social contact with other people and therefore most of us lack the need for friendship and lack any feeling of lonelyness.


Wow, then I guess I should just ignore all the women at my school who are constantly flirting with me and throwing themselves at me. I guess I should stop sleeping in girls dorms and hooking up with them. I guess I should stop dancing with girls at parties, I guess I should stop going on dates. Because apparently I'm not "genetically programmed" to do that kind of thing, so I should just stop pretending like all these girls at my school are actually attracted to me, because clearly they aren't because I have aspergers.

I also guess I should stop hanging out with all my friends too huh?


In fairness, he qualified his statement with "IF you can't get a girl-/boyfriend" - which is clearly not true in your case and therefore he was not referring to you in his post.

He simply has an opinion, he is NOT an [redacted] :?



Last edited by Grisha on 24 Oct 2011, 1:38 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Fnord
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24 Oct 2011, 10:12 am

Lonermutant wrote:
Simonono wrote:
It is social skills and genetics.
No, it's purely genetic programming. I don't believe in teaching social skills.

Denial, like belief, proves nothing.

Yours is but one dissenting voice out of many.

Do not expect L&D to go away just on your say-so.


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The_Face_of_Boo
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24 Oct 2011, 10:12 am

Girls throw themselves at me as well......






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