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Noodle89
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25 Oct 2011, 3:08 pm

Just wondering if any other girl has never had pain free sex? I was a virgin until I was 18. It was kind of a secret because my family knows I don't just go off and have sex. Everyone says that the first time sucks but the second time is always better. The second time I did it it felt like i lost my virginity a second time! IKve only had sex with 4 different guys and all of it was painful. I always had to stop a few minutes later... I'm wondering if this has anything to do with me being hypersensitive.

Does anyone else have this problem??



twich
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25 Oct 2011, 3:14 pm

It could be hypersensitivity, but there could be a number of medical conditions that cause painful sex- you really should talk to a doctor and have some tests done to rule out anything else before deciding it's only from the hypersensitivity.



Noodle89
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25 Oct 2011, 3:21 pm

It's the only thing I can think of... They checked me for infections and anything else and it's still the same:(



statschica
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25 Oct 2011, 3:27 pm

You are very young to be having sex so I would say if you are sensitive and not comfortable doing it then maybe you don't enjoy it with who you are with so I suggest to not do it if you don't enjoy it. Regardless you should see a gynecologist to get checked out.



hanyo
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25 Oct 2011, 3:32 pm

It hurts for me too and if it doesn't hurt it still doesn't feel good. I quit having it when I was 20.



Sowlowsolo
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25 Oct 2011, 4:02 pm

If you don't love the guy - it don't feel good - that's my opinion!



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25 Oct 2011, 4:25 pm

Some people have painful sex, as if its their first time, multiple times, yet go on to have a "normal" sex life.

I can't tell if you mean you've had sex 4 times total or many times with 4 different people. These are drastically different situations. Four times total, it might just be your body taking longer to adjust (for lack of a better word) to sex.



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25 Oct 2011, 5:48 pm

I sometimes had lots of pain when having sex (I sometimes still get a little pain sometimes during and/or after) but it was mostly due to not having enough foreplay and/or my feeling negative feelings about my self worth.

I agree with Sowlowsolo as well, if there is no love (for many but not all) it can be unpleasant for just that reason.

As you're young, it's possible that the amount of foreplay wasn't enough for you (especially if you were with similarly aged partners, sex takes practice and time, young lads don't always know what they are doing). There is also the possibility that your partners have been bigger than you are inside.


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25 Oct 2011, 8:05 pm

Yeah, I hate sex cause it hurts like hell. Most times, it just went in briefly and I couldn't take the pain. The only time I had real sex, in and out, the guys umm "package" was on the smaller side. Since then I haven't had sex in over a year. I don't intend to unless I'm super serious about the guy.



Noodle89
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26 Oct 2011, 11:26 am

I do love the guy and I had sex more than four times lol I had four bfs and we did it more than once.

I sometimes think I might have to become asexual:'(



LostAlien
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26 Oct 2011, 1:20 pm

Noodle89 wrote:
I do love the guy and I had sex more than four times lol I had four bfs and we did it more than once.

I sometimes think I might have to become asexual:'(

It could be not enough foreplay or that he's on the large side.

To my knowledge asexuality is where there are no sexual thoughts, it's grand if you don't have sexual thoughts but if you do have sexual thoughts (to my understanding of this) you're probably not asexual. Have a think about it, knowing what you're feeling is usually a good place to start when figuring things out.


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tentoedsloth
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26 Oct 2011, 7:29 pm

It hurt for me until I found a man I went crazy about. Or, as said to me many times, "Baby, you turn my @ss ON!"

I was (and guess I still am; it's been several years) kind of small in that department too. Guys love that but it's no fun for us, not unless it's that turn-on guy.

Maybe being small is the problem with some of you. When you go to the gynecologist, do they have to get a smaller speculum for you? I had to have one even after giving birth 2 times. Except for those years with that guy....



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26 Oct 2011, 8:10 pm

No, sex isn't painful for me.

It may just be related to being female and the sort of issues surrounding female sexuality - including the MYTH that sex should hurt the first time, physically there is nothing to say sex should hurt women the first time. Even if you're physically small you're designed for penetration and childbirth, so as long as you're comfortable (with sex, the person you're with, and yourself) and you're aroused enough (also remembering that sex is NOT just penetration!), then sex shouldn't be painful. If it hurts, there's something wrong - whether physically or mentally/emotionally. It's an even greater problem if you believe sex should hurt (suggests lack of education), and if you continue having sex even though it's painful and/or not pleasurable (suggests poor self-esteem) - both cases sex isn't going to be as pleasurable as it could be.

Try reading through this, for a start - From OW! to WOW! Demystifying Painful Intercourse | Scarleteen


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Bloodheart
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26 Oct 2011, 8:33 pm

LostAlien wrote:
Noodle89 wrote:
I do love the guy and I had sex more than four times lol I had four bfs and we did it more than once.

I sometimes think I might have to become asexual:'(

It could be not enough foreplay or that he's on the large side.

To my knowledge asexuality is where there are no sexual thoughts, it's grand if you don't have sexual thoughts but if you do have sexual thoughts (to my understanding of this) you're probably not asexual. Have a think about it, knowing what you're feeling is usually a good place to start when figuring things out.


Asexuals can have sexual thoughts, they just may not act upon them. With any sexuality it's never that clear-cut, sexuality is a spectrum and people's positions on that spectrum can change over time too - I once considered myself asexual, I now consider myself pansexual but sometimes I may be closer to the heterosexual/homosexual/asexual end of the spectrum.

No one has to become asexual - you either are or you are not.
Bad sexual experiences doesn't [necessarily] make you asexual, it just means you need to address the problems.


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Rubydoobs
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27 Oct 2011, 7:54 am

Do you know what turns you on? Have you ever masturbated? Have you ever had an orgasm?

Sex was crap for me - not painful - just crap, until I was in my late 20s and finally figured out what I liked.

Then, I learned that I could take control and have sex my way - most guys are willing to let the woman take charge - in fact, a lot of them prefer it. So long as they get theirs eventually - they're happy to go along with whatever you want.

Get yourself a vibrator and spend some time getting to know what you like. And don't be afraid to use your vibe during sex also.

For the last twelve years I have always had an orgasm when I have had sex, what's the point otherwise? But I make damn sure that I get one - I don't rely on him to do it for me, KWIM?


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hanyo
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27 Oct 2011, 8:00 am

Rubydoobs wrote:
Do you know what turns you on? Have you ever masturbated? Have you ever had an orgasm?


I know what I like and that is external stimulation only. I don't even like penetration by myself.