6 yo talks of death obsessively

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Several times a day our Caleb talks and asks questions about death. Mostly repetition- anyone have any advice as to dealing with this? What's best for Caleb?

more details?

He does have aspergers and tends to be very obsessive. No one has died but this became a topic several months ago and seems to be ongoing. At first we just thought he wanted to learn about death but now it is more than that. We have answered all his questions as well as we, mere humans, are capable of. I just don't know what to do. When he asks what is a repititious question- I play it back to him. Other than that I have no ideas.

I think someone else posted something very similar, their kiddo was around the same age. My kiddo went through this as well. I think that death is such a hard concept, and for kids who need a definite answer it can lead to obsessive talk/questions. If he keeps asking, remind him that you've already talked about it. It should slow down after a while when he finds another interest. Most kids this age talk about it and ask about it a lot, so I don't think it there is too much to worry about yet.

All my children went through this around this age, and I only have one on the spectrum. My child with autism seemed to have more ??s about it but my sons 17 yo girlfriend passed of cancer at the time so not sure if thats why she was more obsessive with it or not.It lasted a few months off and on now she doesnt mention death anymore.

My five year old has done this too. It got worse after our hamster died in the spring. We planted flowers over the grave, and that seemed to make her happy. I've been repeating the same explanation of death, but I think maybe a social story is in order. I recommend writing down a little book about various funeral customs and maybe discussion about the cycle of nature a la circle of life or Charlotte's Web and let him illustrate it. Then he can look at the book when the question arises.

My daughter still tells me fondly how when I die she'll put my ashes in the ocean, but it makes me a uncomfortable to hear her talking about it. I blamed her interest in death on an asthma hospitalization at age 2 that I overreacted about, so it's good to hear someone else's kids discussing it.

This is actually really common with children. There is a lot of young children in my family and I started asking around when my son was asking all the same questions. The conclusion I got was that virtually every child (on the spectrum or not) will go through a morbid death phase. It occurs (in my family at least!) between 5-8 years old depending when they really first come in to contact with the concept. The way to deal with it is simply to let it run it's course. Death might be the most natural thing going, but it must be one hell of a concept for a young child to wrap their head around! Only the other day my son said "it's stupid going to graveyards, it's only skeletons dad!".

My daughter did this and still does to a certain extent. She doesn't seem to want to follow the social "rules" when it comes to death and talks about it inappropriately around others. Around me I try to answer her questions as truthfully as possible and guide her in understanding that others are uncomfortable discussing these things. It was uncomfortable to me at first, the intense way she fixated on trying to understand death, but now I know it is just a natural curiosity for her. I imagine it has to do with the way her mind works, she NEEDS to understand things and well, death, let's face it is something that's very difficult to fathom. My daughter asks people what death feels like, when they will die, and she wants to know how, what, when, where it will occur with her. While she is not as obsessively fixated now, the questions and comments do still occur. She very casually sometimes says very alarming things such as "I will be so sad when you die."

At 6 years the brain is JUST starting to form the synapses that will make it possible to comprehend the finality of death. Most children start to ask questions about death at this time. I could imagine that someone with AS might become even more obsessive. If you're concerned ask his doctor but I don't see anything troubling in your post.

My son 13yrs old talks about the same every day! He takes med at the moment so its lesss disturbing but off medications its quiet scary.

Yep. My 5.5 year old has recently been obsessed with it. It all came about when one of his little friends had an uncle that passed away. I'm glad he talked to me about it instead of silently obsessing because the girl's uncle died in his sleep. So, naturally, it got my boy all worried. So, he was worried that people die when they go to sleep and he was also wanting me to tell him how to wake dead people up.

So, I just did some googling and read some articles about how to answer the questions at this age. And, all of the suggestions seemed to work with him. Mainly, just answering the specific questions as they come up. Like, I explained that people die when their bodies stop working and that usually that only happens when you are very old or if you are very ill, buit not sick like you have a tummy bug. He seemed ok with that. I'm sure he'll come to me with more questions soon. Hopefully, I'll be ready for them!

good luck, I hope you can manage without meds, but the fact that you are writing in this forum suggest you are struggling. Only person that can really help is the person themselves.

My son was also like this...sometimes still is....there is a graveyard on the way to the pdoc and he always wants us to drive through it after our appointment! This is very creepy to me....I think it's the same place where his grandfarther is burried....And with this comes all the questions!
He also started having very 'dark thoughts'.....wanted to have clothing with blood, skeletons...wanted to only listen to heavy metal and his drawing were black and red!
The pdoc thought this was part of OCD thoughts and doubled his meds....within 1 week this thoughts and behaviour got much better....

Agree with the others. Totally normal. Just answer honestly and succinctly; the question asked. If he repeats ask if that means he forgot the earlier answer or didn't really understand the earlier answer. If the later, dig deeper. Let him lead.

My father in law died when my son was 3, and my father died when my son was 10 or 11. They can often comprehend much more than we give them credit for, just have to give them a chance. And keep it simple.