Gold diggers etc

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Now a lot of men here brandish a lot of women as "gold diggers". She pays him with sex and company to get what she wants.

Is the man not "gold digging" for a woman who is out of his league? He pays her with gifts and money to get what he wants.

What the hell is the problem?

If this is not the case, is any man really SO stupid to not be able to see that someone is using him for his money? The answer is probably yes at times when the women is very good at her game.

But how common is that? I mean REALLY?

This is clearly an implied response to the thread I created, so let me clarify a few things, so I do not get misrepresented.

1) I believe nobody is entitled to anything from another person. A guy is not entitled to love or sex from a woman for being nice alone. In order to get, you must give, so jewelry for sex is an even trade.

2) If a guy is being used for money, then it is his fault. Nobody forces him to shower her with gifts, it is usually the guy that opens up this window of giftgiving, and its difficult to expect the other person to not accept hundreds of dollars worth of gifts.

3) Since this is clearly directed at me, my post WAS NOT a diatribe on how women used men. Whatever the woman did in that case was fair game. It was a thread intended to discuss how men can empower themselves with good qualities to avoid a situation where they can only hold a woman's interest with money,

I hope you understand, Hale.

It wasn't, it was supposed to be a fresh thread unrelated to anything you've said.

You do have a good point with 2) though.

In all fairness, the guys who accomodate "gold-diggers" should be labeled themselves as "sex-diggers". It's all OK with me assuming that the terms of the "relationship" are all above-board and no deception is involved.

I really have no idea how common this is, maybe it seems more common to me because I live in a relatively affluent area, and such women tend to be very aggressive "romantically".

My only problem with them is trying to spot them early before any damage is done, I think Aspies are particularly vulnerable in this respect.

A few quick points, from a woman's point of view.

I'm glad you are having this discussion and some of the points sound very sensible.

Now get this.

Women like me who were raised to see themselves as equal partners look at the 'golddiggers' who we used to despise. Now they have big houses, even if they're divorced, and a comfortable life. While us independent types, after our marriages failed, have nothing to fall back on, because we weren't interested in money. Hell, when I was married, it was most often me who paid the rent WHILE also doing all the childcare.

No, you know what? If I could start again, I'd learn how to be a golddigger, because having financial security and a boring guy sure beats interesting conversation in the long run.

No, I wouldn't really. It goes too far against my nature. But: Anyone tries to date me now and can't be bothered to pay for the taxi back from the restaurant has failed a major test.

because you assume she enjoys having a sex with a guy who she isn't attracted to.