Board index › General Discussion › General Autism Discussion

"I Don't Think You Are Autistic"

Page 1 of 5 [ 74 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3, 4, 5  Next

Previous topic | Next topic

Kiseki
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 29 May 2010
Age: 45
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,604
Location: Osaka JP

05 Nov 2011, 9:43 pm

Does anyone else get this? Whenever I tell my friends that I think I have Asperger's, this is what they say. Granted I act mostly NT now that I am older and socialization is basically my job, I still think it's rude to cut people off like this. What do they know? I think most peoples' conceptions of people on the spectrum have been too influenced by the media. Anyway, it bothers me. Instead of asking me "Why?" they just cut me off. I also hate the "Everyone's a little autistic" answer :roll:


_________________
Your Aspie score: 161 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 55 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie


btbnnyr
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 May 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,359
Location: Lost Angleles Carmen Santiago

05 Nov 2011, 9:59 pm

For reasons that I have yet to decipher out of NT ToM, these are the standard responses, meaningless.



Kiseki
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 29 May 2010
Age: 45
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,604
Location: Osaka JP

05 Nov 2011, 10:02 pm

btbnnyr wrote:
For reasons that I have yet to decipher out of NT ToM, these are the standard responses, meaningless.


I think they really just don't understand that autism is a spectrum disorder. I know other people who think all autistics are quiet and don't talk. What?


_________________
Your Aspie score: 161 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 55 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie


ValentineWiggin
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 May 2011
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,907
Location: Beneath my cat's paw

05 Nov 2011, 10:05 pm

I would continue on as if uninterruped

"I think I'm Autistic-"
"Blah blah de ignorance blah"
"-because I do X Y and Z, I've noticed I do ABC whenever such and such happens, and every day I have experiences like that, which fits very well with the diagnostic criteria for Autism/Aspergers."


_________________
"Such is the Frailty
of the human Heart, that very few Men, who have no Property, have any Judgment of their own.
They talk and vote as they are directed by Some Man of Property, who has attached their Minds
to his Interest."


btbnnyr
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 May 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,359
Location: Lost Angleles Carmen Santiago

05 Nov 2011, 10:06 pm

Kiseki wrote:
btbnnyr wrote:
For reasons that I have yet to decipher out of NT ToM, these are the standard responses, meaningless.


I think they really just don't understand that autism is a spectrum disorder. I know other people who think all autistics are quiet and don't talk. What?


Ah, I see.

Are "I don't think you're autistic" and "everyone's a little autistic" supposed to make you feel better about yourself? Is this a demonstration of social-emotional reciprocity? This seems to be a frequent failure of NT ToM when it comes to communicating with autistics. Autistics don't like to be told by others what they are and are not, and most if not all don't feel better about themselves after hearing these statements.



Sparx
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 23 Oct 2011
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,186

05 Nov 2011, 10:06 pm

Kiseki wrote:
I think they really just don't understand that autism is a spectrum disorder. I know other people who think all autistics are quiet and don't talk. What?


^ Yes.
Unfortunately many people think of Rain Man. :evil:



swbluto
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Feb 2011
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,899
Location: In the Andes, counting the stars and wondering if one of them is home to another civilization

05 Nov 2011, 10:08 pm

Kiseki wrote:
Does anyone else get this? Whenever I tell my friends that I think I have Asperger's, this is what they say. Granted I act mostly NT now that I am older and socialization is basically my job, I still think it's rude to cut people off like this. What do they know? I think most peoples' conceptions of people on the spectrum have been too influenced by the media. Anyway, it bothers me. Instead of asking me "Why?" they just cut me off. I also hate the "Everyone's a little autistic" answer :roll:


But you're too funny and extroverted to be autistic. Jeez, just accept the truth, why don't ya?! :P



Kiseki
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 29 May 2010
Age: 45
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,604
Location: Osaka JP

05 Nov 2011, 10:16 pm

btbnnyr wrote:
Ah, I see.

Are "I don't think you're autistic" and "everyone's a little autistic" supposed to make you feel better about yourself? Is this a demonstration of social-emotional reciprocity? This seems to be a frequent failure of NT ToM when it comes to communicating with autistics. Autistics don't like to be told by others what they are and are not, and most if not all don't feel better about themselves after hearing these statements.


Yeah, I'm not sure if it's just because they don't understand autism or if it's because they are trying to make you feel better about yourself. Why would it make you feel better to be just like everyone else? That's not how I feel at all.


_________________
Your Aspie score: 161 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 55 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie


swbluto
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Feb 2011
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,899
Location: In the Andes, counting the stars and wondering if one of them is home to another civilization

05 Nov 2011, 10:21 pm

btbnnyr wrote:
Kiseki wrote:
btbnnyr wrote:
For reasons that I have yet to decipher out of NT ToM, these are the standard responses, meaningless.


I think they really just don't understand that autism is a spectrum disorder. I know other people who think all autistics are quiet and don't talk. What?


Ah, I see.

Are "I don't think you're autistic" and "everyone's a little autistic" supposed to make you feel better about yourself? Is this a demonstration of social-emotional reciprocity?


I would say, yes, definitely. NTs think you have to be "like them" to feel included/accepted, and by either making themselves like you ("Everyone's a little autistic") or making you like them ("I don't think you're autistic"), they think they're sending a message that you really aren't that different from them and they accept you.

Personally, if people reacted that way when I told them, I'd be freaking happy.



Verdandi
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Dec 2010
Age: 55
Gender: Female
Posts: 12,275
Location: University of California Sunnydale (fictional location - Real location Olympia, WA)

05 Nov 2011, 10:27 pm

btbnnyr wrote:
Kiseki wrote:
btbnnyr wrote:
For reasons that I have yet to decipher out of NT ToM, these are the standard responses, meaningless.


I think they really just don't understand that autism is a spectrum disorder. I know other people who think all autistics are quiet and don't talk. What?


Ah, I see.

Are "I don't think you're autistic" and "everyone's a little autistic" supposed to make you feel better about yourself? Is this a demonstration of social-emotional reciprocity? This seems to be a frequent failure of NT ToM when it comes to communicating with autistics. Autistics don't like to be told by others what they are and are not, and most if not all don't feel better about themselves after hearing these statements.


I hate those comments. Plus a lot of comments that are apparently supposed to be reassuring, like "I think that most people have trouble with that." Such information is irrelevant to me, and rarely helpful.



League_Girl
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 27,293
Location: Pacific Northwest

05 Nov 2011, 10:32 pm

What;s interesting is even NTs get irritated when they get that crap too and it's not about autism, it's about other stuff. Even people with other mental conditions or disabilities would hate it too like 'Everyone is a little Bipolar" or "everyone is a little OCD" and telling them "everyone has that."



swbluto
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Feb 2011
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,899
Location: In the Andes, counting the stars and wondering if one of them is home to another civilization

05 Nov 2011, 10:35 pm

Verdandi wrote:
btbnnyr wrote:
Kiseki wrote:
btbnnyr wrote:
For reasons that I have yet to decipher out of NT ToM, these are the standard responses, meaningless.


I think they really just don't understand that autism is a spectrum disorder. I know other people who think all autistics are quiet and don't talk. What?


Ah, I see.

Are "I don't think you're autistic" and "everyone's a little autistic" supposed to make you feel better about yourself? Is this a demonstration of social-emotional reciprocity? This seems to be a frequent failure of NT ToM when it comes to communicating with autistics. Autistics don't like to be told by others what they are and are not, and most if not all don't feel better about themselves after hearing these statements.


I hate those comments. Plus a lot of comments that are apparently supposed to be reassuring, like "I think that most people have trouble with that." Such information is irrelevant to me, and rarely helpful.


You guys take those statements way too literally. It's BEST to understand and accept the intention ("They're trying to make me feel better by making me like them") and forget about the literal meaning.



Last edited by swbluto on 05 Nov 2011, 10:40 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Verdandi
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Dec 2010
Age: 55
Gender: Female
Posts: 12,275
Location: University of California Sunnydale (fictional location - Real location Olympia, WA)

05 Nov 2011, 10:40 pm

swbluto wrote:
You guys take those statements way too literally. Understand the intention ("They're trying to make me feel better by making me like them") and forget about the literal meaning.


I can't take them any other way than I do take them. What helps me is letting me explain my difficulty, rather than generalizing it into the problems everyone else has. I'm not everyone else, and it's not reassuring to me that everyone else might have the same problem - often, the statement is wrong, anyway, as I'm sure that everyone else doesn't lose the ability to talk occasionally, or need to just spend an hour or two doing basically nothing at all to get over sensory overload.

I can only adapt to this stuff so far before it becomes difficult, and if I go all the way I'll just subsume myself and my emotional needs. Is that really healthy?



Tuttle
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Mar 2006
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,088
Location: Massachusetts

05 Nov 2011, 10:42 pm

swbluto wrote:
Verdandi wrote:
btbnnyr wrote:
Kiseki wrote:
btbnnyr wrote:
For reasons that I have yet to decipher out of NT ToM, these are the standard responses, meaningless.


I think they really just don't understand that autism is a spectrum disorder. I know other people who think all autistics are quiet and don't talk. What?


Ah, I see.

Are "I don't think you're autistic" and "everyone's a little autistic" supposed to make you feel better about yourself? Is this a demonstration of social-emotional reciprocity? This seems to be a frequent failure of NT ToM when it comes to communicating with autistics. Autistics don't like to be told by others what they are and are not, and most if not all don't feel better about themselves after hearing these statements.


I hate those comments. Plus a lot of comments that are apparently supposed to be reassuring, like "I think that most people have trouble with that." Such information is irrelevant to me, and rarely helpful.


You guys take those statements way too literally. It's BEST to understand and accept the intention ("They're trying to make me feel better by making me like them") and forget about the literal meaning.


I don't understand how "you don't actually have any challenges that others don't" is supposed to make me feel better.



Kiseki
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 29 May 2010
Age: 45
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,604
Location: Osaka JP

05 Nov 2011, 10:44 pm

Verdandi wrote:
swbluto wrote:
You guys take those statements way too literally. Understand the intention ("They're trying to make me feel better by making me like them") and forget about the literal meaning.


I can't take them any other way than I do take them. What helps me is letting me explain my difficulty, rather than generalizing it into the problems everyone else has. I'm not everyone else, and it's not reassuring to me that everyone else might have the same problem - often, the statement is wrong, anyway, as I'm sure that everyone else doesn't lose the ability to talk occasionally, or need to just spend an hour or two doing basically nothing at all to get over sensory overload.

I can only adapt to this stuff so far before it becomes difficult, and if I go all the way I'll just subsume myself and my emotional needs. Is that really healthy?


My case is only mild personally, but sensory problems, textural issues, connections with other people etc. still trouble my life to an extent. I feel like I am on the outside. I'm not like YOU, I don't wanna be like YOU, and that's what I take offense to.


_________________
Your Aspie score: 161 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 55 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie


Verdandi
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Dec 2010
Age: 55
Gender: Female
Posts: 12,275
Location: University of California Sunnydale (fictional location - Real location Olympia, WA)

05 Nov 2011, 10:47 pm

Kiseki wrote:
My case is only mild personally, but sensory problems, textural issues, connections with other people etc. still trouble my life to an extent. I feel like I am on the outside. I'm not like YOU, I don't wanna be like YOU, and that's what I take offense to.


Right. I dislike being told I'm like everyone else. In some ways I am like other people. In other ways, I am not. I don't like to be told that who and what I am isn't real.