Idiots I don't know honked and cursed at me?

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Ok I have always reacted bad to bullying and as a result I have hurt a few bullies badly growing up. This of course makes me look like the psycho. It is just that I have no patience and tolerance to idiocy and people who don't treat people like they would like to be treated. Anyway, I was walking home and these losers in their car(must have been 4 of them) honked as I was crossing the street to my house and when I turned around, they started cussing me out and flipping me off for no reason. I have no idea who these people are and I definitely did nothing wrong to piss them off in any way. This happened at like 11pm...they are probably just drunk or high loser trash. Anyway, I started cussing them out too. I didn't even care because I am so sick of people like that. They just kept driving, but I saw what their car looked like. I am finally starting to calm down, but its frustrating because I am trying to focus for a quiz on Wednesday and now these morons have got my adrenaline pumping. I am definitely capable of killing people who piss me off like this. I am not like most people who just ignore it physically and emotionally. I usually do now that I am older, but when I am angry, I really want to hurt or possibly murder people like that. Consequences become trumped by my strong desire to exact personal revenge and self-justification. It is scary because I might wind up really hurting or killing people who do this to me in the future. I want to try to return to China soon because not once did people pull this crap on me. Has this happened to anyone on here and if so...how do you deal with it and how do you focus without thinking about things like hurting them?

A situation like this can justify a meltdown privately in your room or apartment, without really hurting yourself of doing damage. After that, think of the following advices: "Don't punish yourself for someone else's stupidity" and "Don't argue with stupid people, they will defeat you with their routine". In other words, try to be yourself and don't let yourself be bothered by idiots. You are smarter than them anyway, so what?

Young kids who think they are tough do that everywhere nowadays, trust me. There has actually;y been a couple fatal beatings in my area over the past few years due to kids beings douchebags like that. Always because they were dumb enough to do it to a biker who belongs to the pagans gang. And I have no sympathy for them at all because scum like that really should be removed from the gene pool. When it happens to me though I ignore it, unless its someone I personally know. Gotta put it into context of the area you live in. I am in a cluster of rural mining towns in which the main things people do for fun is get drunk, get high, pick fights, go cruising around with friends, or go dive into old flooded strip mining pits.

I experience this a lot on my bicycle, and have a similar background fighting back against bullies as a kid, and a similar adrenaline response. On a bike, when a car honks right behind you it can be scary. Cars are weapons that can easily kill cyclists.

Usually it's "[honk!] Get off the road!" wtf? In most municipalities a biker is required to ride on the street. A lady swerved into me once doing this, which I narrowly escaped being knocked over. I chased her to the next streetlight and punched her window (not very hard, just startled her. Yep, guilty of road rage, right here. That was a bad idea. She chased me for blocks, I was only able to get away by running red lights and such.

A while back I printed up the local Mpls bike laws and kept a couple fliers in my pocket. When someone would "Get off the road!" at me, I would chase them down and toss the flier in their window or put it under the windshield wiper. That was better than unching a window, but was still construed as scary and hostile.

I have PTSD issues from fighting as a kid, and it is not a choice for me whether I am bothered by other people's aggression. Sudden honking-at-me or yelling-at-me triggers a major dissociative episode. I gave up on the fliering after a while, and now I just ride my bike really hard for a few blocks to work off the adrenaline.

I know how you feel.
Do you get this random humiliation a lot? If you do then no wonder you feel the way you do. I feel the same. I get people yelling out of their cars at me, even though I know that I haven't done anything to cause any hazards or piss people off or anything like that, but people act like I DO, and sometimes I wonder why a lot of people seem to do this to me and it gets me believing that maybe it is me who's the daft twat causing a nuisance and they're just marking their territory by having to aggressively react back. It is very self-esteem-wrecking, and I think it's enough to give anyone meltdowns!

Sometimes I come home crying my eyes out and having to tell my mum that I got humiliated again today without doing anything, and sometimes she gets fed up with me for taking it so personally. But I can't help taking it personally. If it only happened once in a blue moon, I wouldn't take much notice, but because it happens to me every time I go out, I start to wonder what I'm doing to get other people humiliating me.

I may be Aspie, but I do know what I'm doing when I'm out. I have self-awareness, and I know what are hazards and what aren't (I did pass my driving test successfully), and I also know how to get humiliated and how to not, and I am high-functioning so I know how to hide my traits and come across as ordinary when I'm out. If I do do something embarrassing or stupid, I know it immediately afterwards, because I can just tell. But as far as I know I don't do anything silly or enough to make other people react. I always wonder if people just do it to make me feel even more bad about myself than what I already am.

I am not very good at being aggressive as I don't like hurting people. I am likely to get upset over it in private though and can have the occasional meltdown. When I was younger I would be more likely to thump myself, pull my hair, bang my head and kick and scream until I exhausted myself, but now I am much older so my meltdowns merely result in my wondering around my house ranting to myself out of annoyance and may include getting emotionally upset. I have been known to scream until I can't scream any more if I am feeling emotionally overloaded but I never vent at people or when they are around (if I can help it...I will normally feel the overload coming and flee somewhere private...also sometimes fleeing can stop the process anyway).

People will often tell you to try breathing exercises at this point and I can tell you they don't work, not for me anyway. Once I am in meltdown mode it tends to be determined to run its course.

What I did learn is that when you are having a meltdown is that people can think you are going to become aggressive towards them and lunge at you first. In those instances I would hit back as they scared me. Usually though I am loud during a meltdown but very harmless. I am not very good at defending myself either as aggression scares me. I only do it when I have to and even then I only really want to escape.

My meltdowns are similar. Breathing exercises don't help me either. They may help in a panic attack, but when I'm having a meltdown from aggression, nothing works. Once I tried counted to ten but instead I found myself screaming, ''ONE TWO THREE FOUR....'' really aggressively at the top of my voice because I knew it wasn't really working. Aggression is too strong for me. I find I can cope better when being angry with other people, but when it comes to being angry with myself, I have no control over it. Only other people can control it by sitting down calmly with me and reassuring me, and trying to get me to the bottom of my angry outburst and then trying to find a solution, or if there's no solution can still try to think of ways to help me deal with the situation that made me feel angry with myself.

I would just chalk it up to idiots being idiots. I've had it happen to me. I've been in cars in the distant past when people did it. It's usually completely random and people are usually drinking, high, or extremely high spirited for some reason. 90% of the time I never means anything to get yelled at from a car or someone blows a horn at you when you are walking or on a bike. Unless you are in the way, but that's a different story.

I know people who will blow their horn when they get right beside someone walking simply to watch them jump. Stupid and mean, but they do it sometimes. I've had it done to me. It makes me jump. I don't like it and will flip them off. That is the reaction they are going for though. I do know it doesn't mean they are targeting me personally. They are just targeting the person walking down the street, whoever they might be.

Frances

That sort of situation has happened to me as well. I flipped off the people who honked at me, and then made a slit-the-throat motion at them. They proceeded to swear a s**tstorm as I continued walking down the street.

Cowards throw insults easily from the safety of a moving car or if they are in greater numbers. I bet if it was one on one they would piss their pants if you started trouble with them. I walk everywhere so I carry a can of Bear mace with a blue dye added it has the ability to make grizzly bears run off into the woods screaming so it should make an attacker sh!t twice and want to die looking like a crying smurf. If I spray someone I will make sure to call the police to report an "attempted robbery" just to give the attacker a scare and hopefully some jail time. Thats the price they have to pay for being an as*hole and attacking someone who does not want to fight!

People in Britain or Europe that can't buy mace make sure to use wasp spray or even spray paint (pink is best). Make sure to run away then call the police to report an "attempted robbery" giving the bully's description. Maybe the jail time will calm them down or maybe the forced prison sodomy will do the trick caming them down either way that's one violent bully off the streets.

Last edited by Todesking on 22 Nov 2011, 12:50 pm, edited 1 time in total.

When I was crossing at a corner I had a guy get so made at me for making him stop (He had to stop at the light anyways ) he threw his cellphone at me. So I kicked his phone into traffic causing it to get run over. His wife then yells out the window that she is calling the police so don't walk away. So I stood there trading insults with her and her husband. When the cop shows up he seperates everybody and starts his interrogation. After talking to everyone he tells the driver he could be arrested for road rage. The driver then demanded that I should be made to pay for the cellphone he threw at me so the cop asked me if the cellphone broke on impact so naturally I said it broke after it bounced off my back so the cop wrote that in his police report.

Of course if someone attacks you, you should mace them - or whatever is legal where you are - and call the police, but certainly not for yelling something from a car or blowing their horn. Throwing something at you, swerving towards you, etc, call the cops. But for simple yelling and general jack*ssery, I would say no. Karma works better than people think it does

Frances

It's kind of like trolling online except in real life.

I had something like that happen when I was tripping on mushrooms and rather stoned once......they did what you described basically and then threw a can or something at me and the girl I was hanging out with. So I ended up flipping them off, picking whatever they threw up and running towards the vehicle to throw it back at them. then I think they yelled something else and kept going......But yeah in the state I was in I could not take it very seriously at all and had they been some real jerks I probably could have gotten myself injured.

And they say Aspies are the ones who are immature?

well to properly do real life trolling the object is not to insult people by screaming at them, flipping them off or throwing possibly dangerous projectiles at them. lol not really my thing but I went with my brother and his friend once and they did not cross the line between fun and harrasment.