Blind A**hole Syndrome

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I'm curious if anyone else has noticed this phenomena.

A person, we will call Pat, ends up with a partner who we will call Chris, who has been treated poorly by ex partners in the past. Pat thinks it's absolutely horrible how poorly Chris has been treated by these ex partners, yet Chris has left Pat for something bad Pat did. Pat knows they did something bad and is really sorry about it and desperately wants Chris back. In fact, it's absolutely urgent that Pat gets Chris back because Chris is now dating some other person who according to Pat, is a total jerk/@sshole/b!tch and just treats Chris horribly.

The irony is, Pat didn't treat Chris any better than any of Chris' previous or current partners, and thinks somehow they are better than them, which they are not. In fact Pat's attempts to get Chris back are just an example of Pat's selfishness and attempt to manipulate an emotionally gullible Chris back into another relationship with them, which will inevitably be the same as the first because Pat doesn't see that they are as big of an jerk/@sshole/b!tch as everyone else.

No camel sees his hunch

I saw a lot of Pat and Chris in this post.

buttttt Pat wants to be better just doesn't know how. Though Chris is probably a as*hole too...

This sounds mostly like an 18/yr olds problems. Granted if pat was always an ass, then Chris should move on. However one mistake isn't worth anything, o and if you love someone your supposed to forgive them and all. So long as they change for as long as it takes. O yeah "love" well people don't love each other for a reason they just do or they just don't. Its strange.

People like Chris have been hurt so often they cant help themselves, but to protect themselves.

my first thought was that Chris is part of the problem. i tend to think Chris is stuck in the same pattern and is culpable just like Pat or any other one of the as*holes in the string of failed relationships. one or two nasty as*holes can be chalked up to mistakes, but a whole string of them is a pattern that makes me wonder what is wrong with Chris.

on a separate note... there is no way to be a fly on the wall to observe this situation. presumably, we are not observing every single one of Chris' relationships, so we are most likely hearing about these messes from Chris (or secondhand from Pat). anyone that paints all of their exes like that is likely not very reasonable or objective in their assessment. i am automatically suspicious of someone who portrays themself as a victim every single time. and if we are hearing about it from Pat, well of course Pat will describe all of the other exes as as*holes.

A+ for using unisex names and keeping the genders vague (that encourages equal discussion. )

Anyway, I've seen this happen so much it's not funny. There's no victims here, just guilty parties.

Yes well, Chris does have their own issues. And yes, it is a gender neutral situation, not based on any two specific people, but rather, a lot of people who I have collectively called Pat.

I admit I got, really confused at varying points but what I did gather is this. Both parties seemed very hypocritical in their actions. I'd suggest both have a quiet sit down and consider what they are doing against what they should be doing and acting accordingly. Both parties are culpable in the wrong doing, and also Chris seemed to be a victim of themselves less than the victim of anyone else.