Do apies not understand body language or have their own?

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Muggle
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02 Dec 2011, 11:55 pm

One thing I'm sure is always being argued is whether ASDs are disabilities or merely differences. I myself am unsure, but I'm not here to ask THAT opinion. Actually, let's just assume right now they are differences. If so, do we really not understand body language or do we have our own? I've been told I'm hard to "read" and that is one of the reasons I have trouble making friends (both parties have no idea what the other thinks and feels). I've seen speculation, some even on WP itself, on a different set of body language specific to AS. Now, I am not in daily contact with other aspies. It is hard for me to read body language and I learn it scientifically from pictures and the way the muscles move. If Aspergers is just a difference, is there a different set of nonverbal comunication ques that only we aspies have? If so, does anyone constantly around a number of aspies know about AS specific movements, and if someone could make a Guide to Asperger Body Language they would be astonishingly awesome.


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1000Knives
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03 Dec 2011, 12:48 am

Well, I have NVLD for sure, it's diagnosed, and basically a PDD-NOS, not quite full blown "Aspergers" but enough for the psych people to notice something is off. Anyway, you got the exact same problem as me, I have almost unreadable body language, and it causes problems for me. As far as I know, I can't read body language very well. But yeah, having really "odd" body language like I have makes other people I think I'm odd. Uhm, I don't know, I don't believe I read body language well, I can pick up somewhat better now after having a bit more social interaction and whatever, but still, suck at it. NVLD is weird, in that sometimes you'll just be completely dead on with your assessments of people and other times you'll be 180 degrees off in them, so you don't trust your random intuitive body language reading skills much, as they're like broken.

I don't know if Aspergers really has "specific" body language. With me, I have NVLD, which sorta gives me comorbid AS, but my neurological profile is only one type of neuro profile. IE, I didn't know there were some Aspies that were visual thinkers, for example, which I'm definitely not a visual thinker. So, for people more visual spatially oriented, they could give off different body language than someone with visual spatial deficits in their brain wiring like myself. I think as far as "Aspergers" goes the "spectrum" is much too broad. For me personally, I find my NVLD diagnosis much more useful than just being like "Yay I got Aspergers" as I know exactly where things are wrong in the brain wiring.

But yeah, I don't find having an Aspie body language guide being feasible, just due to too many variables involved. Then again, I feel the same way about NT body language, so I could just be ridiculous.

It's good and bad to hear someone else has the exact same problem with me, of not giving off enough body language for people to make good judgments.



btbnnyr
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03 Dec 2011, 12:54 am

My mother has told me that I am completely unreadable and she has no idea what I could possibly be thinking or feeling.



LunaUlysses
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03 Dec 2011, 5:06 am

I've noticed when I'm in a group with other Aspies, I can read them easier, and I don't feel like I have to be so close-minded with my mouth. I can say things and get laughs from them I'd never get from NT. I have a difficult time assessing what NT people tend to be thinking



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03 Dec 2011, 6:25 am

I think I have just as much difficulty trying to read the body language of my aspie friends as NTs, although with the advantage that they don't expect me to rely on their body language for communication. Actually, I think it might be easier to read NTs, since I've been training myself for years to learn what a lot of things mean. I've never thought much about whether my body language matches that of other aspies. Partly because I don't know what my body language is like, so I wouldn't know if I could recognize it in others.

Anyway, I don't feel like we have some kind of "different" or "secret" body language that aspies understand and NTs don't. I get my communication information primarily from the words people say, and try to train myself to learn and pay attention to what facial expressions and body language mean so that I can get more of the implied rather than just the literal meaning. I think aspies are mostly literal with words, so we don't have to rely on body language to communicate with each other. Like Sheldon and Amy on Big Bang Theory. : )



nymph_in_yellow
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03 Dec 2011, 7:07 am

btbnnyr wrote:
My mother has told me that I am completely unreadable and she has no idea what I could possibly be thinking or feeling.


same here. Not my mother, but my friends tell me this...
and they find it frustrating lol
I can read them quite easily actually (almost too good to the point that I know how they feel before they even admit it to themselves, I also 'know' hidden motives and things like that from people I have never even met, but only heard about, and my first impressions of others always prove to be right).
but that's got something to do with years of observation as a child I think.

Some days I don't seem to be able to read anything at all though! I think you need to be willing (emotionally) to do so. When I'm preoccupied with my own ideas and not fully interested and open, I suck at it.


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03 Dec 2011, 6:12 pm

This is kind of what I was getting at where I was talking about face reading, maybe we have our own face/eye language that is different from NTs.

I certainly notice other people's body language and facial expressions, even down to very subtle nuances but I don't know if I always interpret it that way it's intended. I think I just interpret according to a different set of rules. Likewise I think most people don't know how to read me or understand me. I am very expressive but people typically do not recognize what I am expressing. It is like they have one key set and I have another.

Differences become disabilities when you are in the minority and society is oriented around the majority. I've always said I do not consider my ADHD to be a disorder, just a difference, but the reality is I experience my difference in the context of a society that is oriented for people who don't have it. I know some of my differences inhibit me from doing the things I want to do - but, I don't know what it would be like to experience my differences in a society full of people who are like me. Maybe in an ADHD world, I would find it easier to accomplish things...or maybe, it would be even harder.



Muggle
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03 Dec 2011, 6:47 pm

A world of people like me is something I've always wondered. Would it be easier or harder? As a teenage girl everyone expects me to begin becomeing obsessed with boys, not science. They say that soon I will be. In an aspie world where maybe there was an aspie family who liked math, and that one NT daughter who didn't and only like boys, would they tell her she was a late bloomer and soon she would be able to talk to friends about the joys of Algebra? This is just a senario, I'm an aspie and I actually hate math.

Now that I think about it, there's really no way to tell about aspie body language unless an aspie grew up in an aspie world, or at least a predominatly aspie environment where no one tried to act NT. A thirty year old with years of experience in society reads body language better than a three year old hardly around people other than a few.


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03 Dec 2011, 7:02 pm

We need to create an entirely Aspie society for entirely scientific purposes. Than a lot of questions could be answered.


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03 Dec 2011, 7:05 pm

I've not found myself able to read the body language of other aspies or probable aspies any more than NTs.



Muggle
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03 Dec 2011, 7:12 pm

Agreed on the aspie society. :) Unfortunatually, it would have to be aspie from birth, not influenced by trying to learn to live amoung NTs. Oh, and the parents couldn't either. A lot more work and money than I think we have for somethig like this :x


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Ollytheaspie
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03 Dec 2011, 8:25 pm

I have had people tell me that it's hard to read my body language because I am quite closed off and don't express with my body, If I get exited I sometimes may point at the person and can leave the person feeling anxious I can tell. once people have gotten to know me they have told me that they can read me but I don't really believe them because I hardly do anything with my body, I suppose it can come across as odd but I don't care.


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btbnnyr
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03 Dec 2011, 8:30 pm

I think that autistic people are much less preoccupied with people in general, so the body language of anyone is much less important than NTs consider it to be. I've only known one suspected autistic person well, and whenever we went out to eat, we always sat on the same side of the table and rarely ever looked at each other while conversing.



Dae
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03 Dec 2011, 8:41 pm

My thought is...if you have a body, then you have 'body language'. Poor reading skills are not primarily accountable to the presenter.


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