I ruin everything socially and make so many mistakes...

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Okay so I keep making social mistakes which then ruin things and turn people against me... people dislike me because of it, I look back on my mistakes and cringe... I don't know how to stop making these mistakes, they get worse when I am anxious, but I can't stop being anxious until people accept me as I am, which they won't, because I make so many mistakes, and it gets worse and worse...
I can be a really good person to be around when I'm comfortable in a place, but since I've started university I haven't been, a lot of people hate me because of it already. What should I do?

And I just mistake social cues, say the wrong things at the wrong times, and generally conversations 'die' after I join in with them. I want friends but now I'm scared to go meet people cos I know I will ruin everything again...

Why wud u wan t b friends wit tem if der bein like dat.

I often feel the exact same way as you do and I've faced feeling the exact same way. People tell me Im too hard on myself. If your like me, your mind exaggerates everything. Like you think your going to make mistakes so you feel like you did. Your mind searches for what you did wrong. Yes we have condition where we cant read social cues correctly but there is probably some degree of irrationality as in your probably not doing as bad as you think you are. I was feeling much like that earlier today.

What can I say? Been there, done that. Conversations still die sometimes when I enter them.

The good thing is that NT's are assuming that you are like them. The muggles suspect nothing.
Therefore, instead of thinking you are handicapped, they assume "mean". (or other negatives...)
This can be overcome. Unlike being stuck in a wheelchair. We have a somewhat reversible handicap. It just takes ages.

Keep smiling. Learn to laugh at yourself. Be agreeable. Hold your head up. Be confident.
When they get annoyed or laugh or whatever, look them in the eye and raise your eyebrow.
And don't try to explain things in 1000 words or more. NT's have short attention spans.

Focus on your work and do well enough to support yourself in the style to which you'd like to become accustomed.
All those emotions get in the way of real progress.
I seriously doubt many AS couples are being foreclosed on for going too deeply into debt trying to impress neighbors.

We rule. They drool.

My mind exaggerates everything constantly.

Same problem here. I've just withdrawn myself almost completely from social settings.

i know how you feel... to be honest the best thing to do is to swallow your fears and get out there and keep trying. it took me many many years. but now i have 3 people that i know accept me understand me and who would help me and me them. there is a lot of pain in that process. or at least there can be a lot of pain. but in the end its really worth it.

I'll try again. and try again. and try again.
it's probably stupidity and not resilience that keeps me bouncing back.
sick of trying to redeem myself. just gonna be me. if people don't like it then ohwellwhatevernevermind

Don't be so hard on yourself.
With 67% more neurons your brain jumps in 50 directions theirs does not.
So you are more likely to come up with the "wrong" response trying to match their response speed.
Their brains are more simple and they only "see" one response.
Of course it's easier for them.

It isn't that you are wrong. Take your time.
There are patterns to their responses. (and not all that many!)
You'll eventually learn to mimic the native population better.

I do this too, and tend to hate myself afterwards when I'm thinking about it. But most of the time it's really small things, and most of the times the other people involved will have forgotten it.

The best thing is to be yourself. If the other people don't like you for who you are, then there are others who will. At least that's what I think.

The neuron thing is interesting. So it means that there's more going on in my head than theirs, so it makes it harder to get things right?

(ridiculously oversimplified but you probably know what i mean)

I go through that all the time esp in new situations. Sometimes I wish I could shut my mind off. I am in the same boat in not being able to make friends.

I think the things you say aren't the problem here. It's more your attitude about yourself, the way you feel about yourself and your value as a friend. It's kind of a vicious cycle, because when you make the same mistake of having a "down" attitude time and time again, other people (including you!) will get used to you acting this way, and expect it of you. You can break this pattern over time if you learn to not care what others think. It's more than just that though, you have to start caring about how you think of yourself!!

Good luck

I felt the same way for a long time, because I was socially awkward. I was straight up ignored, I was alone, always on the outside looking in. I have learned that it is so important to forgive myself and don't beat myself up for the mistakes I made. Just keep it moving and keep trying because tomorrow is a brand new day to try again. I have learned to not give a F about what others think of me...chances are, they really aren't. Plus, how I live my daily life is not affecting you, and vice versa. Good luck girlie!

We often remember our mistakes forever--but NTs typically have very short memories, unless someone makes a big deal out of the mistakes--and even then it may be forgotten very quickly.

I have learned from my social mistakes.
It was hard way to learn to fall, get bruised, bleed and then learn to walk properly
But thats the way child learns to walk

Similarly we learn from our mistakes.
If social situations are overwhelming or difficult for you to understand
then take a break
maybe after a while things will look less complicated after you have
started contemplating on the ususal mistakes.