I thought I'd give those interested a brief rundown of some of the common signals you might encounter in the mating game.
Most of these gestures are subconcious in nature. Your success will depend on your ability to give certain signals and perceive the ones that are being sent to you. Start slowly with memorising some of these and observing them in action on others. Slowly start trying them out at your own pace until you get comfortable with their use. You can often even observe some of these on Television shows or Movies dealing with such subjects.
None of these signals on their own is a guarantee of interest though, ideally you will notice almost all of them, but really you should confirm at least 5 or so before being totally sure they are into you and it's not just some mistake.
Raised eyebrows - When we see a person that we consider attractive, we begin raising and lowering our eyebrows. If the person also feels drawn to you, her/his eyebrows will also start going up and down. This gesture lasts only 1/5 of a second but it takes place all the time. This "eye making" can be easily left unnoticed, but if you do notice it, you will certainly be given 100% of the person's attention. Now it’s been pointed out you will probably notice it a lot more
Slightly opened lips - If a person likes you, his or her lips automatically open the moment your eyes meet.
Standing at attention - If a man is standing straight, with his shoulders squared to push out his chest and with his belt tightened/pull up, he’s trying to show himself in all his beauty. If he is leaning forward to hear what the woman is saying, it is even better. Women do much the same thing.
Adjusting the clothes - If a man is adjusting his tie, he really hopes that you will notice it. He may also sleek his hair, pull down his jacket, see if his lapels are in the right place. When a man is playing with the buttons of his jacket he’s probably nervous. Using this gesture he’s also trying to demonstrate his subconscious wish to get undressed for you. The next stage is when he takes his jacket off and places his arms on his hips. Often subconciously ‘pointing’ towards the groin area.
Playing with the hair - In order to show her sympathy towards a man, a woman makes a movement with her head to get her hair off her face. She may also move it aside with her hand. She tries to send the same signal by licking her lips. By the way, men also like adjusting their hair while talking to a woman.
Crossing the legs - If the toes of a person's shoes are pointed at you, he or she is certainly interested in you. If you point your knee towards the person you’re interested in, you’ll demonstrate that you’re ready for a closer relationship. One of the most captivating poses is when a woman is sitting with her legs crossed under herself and her knees are exposed to the person she’s talking to. It means she's wants a man to take more decisive steps.
Playing around with cylindrical objects - A man, as well as a woman, when excited, will definitely find a glass or even a fork to stroke it or to touch it with his fingers. Cylindrical objects remind men of the woman’s breasts, and the women of the man’s genitals.
Exposed wrist - Woman’s wrist has always been considered one of the erogenous zones. When a woman is interested in a man she’ll try to keep her palms and her wrists in the man’s sight.
Touching the face - If a person is interested in you, he’ll keep touching his chin, his ears and his cheeks. It means that he or she is subconsciously fixing the lies. This is a combination of nervous and autoerotic actions. When we’re interested in somebody, our lips and the lower part of the face become very sensitive to stimulation. If you're smoking, you'll begin inhaling more often. If you're drinking something, you'll begin taking more sips. You enjoy touching your lips, and what is more, you let the other person know that a kiss is not far off.
The leading hand - It is a good sign if a man is holding you by the elbow or by the shoulder. In the first place, it is a good way to lead you through the crowd. Secondly, this way he can be sure that you don’t get lost. Thirdly, this will frighten away the other men: after all, you already have one by your side. Fourthly, this lets him accidentally touch you … All in all, it’s a good gesture.
The female equivalent is the light touch, while talking she will reach out and touch the man lightly on the arm or knee if it’s more convenient (ie sitting closely) from time to time, usually she will be completely unaware of it.
Hands on Hips - Standing with hands on hips, this is not a good sign, usually signals impatience or anger, but can also mean, ‘can we go now’ which is not necessarily a bad thing. Cross reference with facial expression to see if this is good or bad.
Bored - Sitting with legs crossed, leaning back, foot kicking slightly/ examining nails or tapping fingers indicates boredoom, if you are at a party this could be an opportune time to talk to the person, they are bored and will usually be willing to talk to anyone to avoid the boredoom.
Arms crossed on chest – This is a defensive, blocking move, if you get this he/she is not interested.
Walking with hands in pockets, shoulders hunched – Projects defeat, rejection and weakness, avoid looking like this.
Touching or rubbing nose – This usually means lying or that they are trying to get rid of you, bad sign (unless they have hayfever, check season).
Steepling fingers – Symbolic of piety and authority, if someone does this be prepared for a lecture on their apparently superiority and great ideas.
Tilted head – This is a good sign, means they are interested in you.
Pulling or tugging at ear – They are having trouble deciding something.
Mirroring – They copy what you are doing, you should also (subtley) copy what they are doing, ie lean forward and they will too, scratch your head and they will too, take a sip of your drink and they will too.
Pupils – If you are close enough to see, the other persons pupils will be dilated if they like you (hard to tell in low light situations though)
Blinking – Frequency of blinking will increase if they like you (the old female batter the eyelashes thing)
Smile – Obvious, but make sure it’s a genuine smile and not a forced one.
Eye contact – also obvious, but there should be sustained eye contact, or at least catch them looking at you a lot, usually a glance away when they are a caught followed by a quick glance back, combine this with a smile and it’s gold.
Laughing with you – If they laugh at your jokes, even when they are crap, it’s a pretty good sign they like you.
For some other bad stuff to avoid see the following link (a lot is basically normal behaviour for AS people so it's well worth a read to avoid giving off the wrong signals)
http://www.sideroad.com/Dating/dating_b ... guage.html
11 Oct 2006, 7:37 pm
