Hi , I have asperger and I want to kill myself

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Hi, I am 23 years and I am an aspie , I hate myself also my life , this idea od suicide is always in my head but I need courage to do it ..help me please

Faysal, if you feeling this way then you need to speak to a professional or at the very least a suicide hotline as soon as possible.

I have no desire to come off as platitudinous, so let me instead tell you the truth: that I have been where you are many times and it does in fact get better.

But please, you need to speak with someone who can help you better than we.

Faysal, I have felt like killing myself too and know how horrible the pain is. I have also stopped my partner of 17 years from killing herself 5 or 6 times during our relationship (she is bipolar). Call a suicide hotline so they can refer you to someone who can help you. Things CAN get better, there is help out there. If you can get through this rough patch, as you get older things do get better. I'm 37.

This is quite normal for a young Aspie. I sympathize.

I would be the first to tell you if your suicidal impulses were your fault, or if you needed to stop self-dramatizing.

In this case, the odds are that you are being quite serious and in severe emotional pain.

I would highly encourage you to read this, and follow the rabbit hole, before you take your life.

It isn't you. It's them.

http://vault-co.blogspot.com/2011/12/un ... -life.html

Also, if the above isn't enough, you may find life bearable again if you travel. Go on walkabout. Get far, far away. It's what you're meant to do in response to the emotions you're experiencing. It's what I did, and it worked.

I can't continue like this anymore , I have to stop my sufference , my life doesn't worth at all , my life is very cheap , I wish sometimes if I wasn't born at all or if I can click a button and just disappear ..I failed in my university study because I have AS and because of this defference I couldn't adapt , my family didn't support me at all and they look to me like a loser because of my faile , they knew always that I was defferent but they didn't even take me to a professional to diagnose me , they though I am just a shy sillent kid , and they didn't care because I was fine at my school . I was diagnosed just one year ago and now I want to end this sufference , at leat I will feel comfortable and will feel no pain

Hi Faysal,

Just the fact that you have joined this forum means that you do want to communicate with people. And you have already found that others here know just what you are going through, so keep on communicating.

And go one step further and ring a suicide helpline.

Things will get better for you xx

Dearest Faysal: I am mother to a bipolar teenage daughter and an autism teenage daughter. Both have gone through terrible times of feeling no self-worth. In addition to the excellent suggestions to call a suicide hotline, please know that there are adults out there who are not family who will gladly take you under their wings and support you. If your family does not understand, you can find adults who do. This will take an act of supreme willpower on your part, but there are places you can go to find people like this - mental health professionals, school counselors, churches, neighbors... We were there for a teen from my girls' school whose father did not understand her. We offered her a place to be when she needed to escape. I'm not the only one in the world who will do this. There is someone out there for you.

Please know I care about you because I have seen your pain. And though I am not physically there to help you, I send you the best warm thoughts for a reduction in your suffering.

Hi Faysal,
I'd like to agree with phoenixarte. I have had terrible times as well, and many suicide attempts. I had always thought that if anyone on the planet was going to be able to give "unconditional love"(whatever that is) to me, it would be my family, but it's not always like that. Finding anyone that will listen without judging is difficult, and for many of us, this isn't a family member. I wouldn't suggest that this would help you as it did me, but my depression got better all by itself (i mean, no one did it for me, it happened accidentally), when I learned alot about Aspergers. My biggest issue seemed to be I was the only one who knew anything was wrong, and as I tried to convince family or doctors, it seems like I had to convince them of my existence. That seemed to be the big part of the depression: being alone to 6 billion other people. Like I said, this may not help you personally at all as it did me.
I guess all I can offer is if you want to send me a Private Message (PM) I can listen. I've lived with a certain amount of suicidality in my life for almost 20 years, and while some things you say might surprise me, I don't think their extremity will. You may get to vent some frustration over things that are too difficult to hear for other people, or to say on a public forum or to a professional. Again, I'm only offering to listen - it looks like you have already been offered the appropriate advice.

thx for your concern , I really appreciate it , at least I feel there is someone out there who cares about me and accept me as who I am , I am not a bad guy , I just have asperger's , actually I am a good looking boy and I behave well but I am very weak when it comes to the social part and many times think defferently , the only solution now is killing myself ..it looks a very good choice right now . . I can't help it

I don't know how you feel, but I know the feeling that it's the best option.

Keep listening to what you are saying about yourself:

I am not a bad guy , I just have asperger's , actually I am a good looking boy and I behave well but I am very weak when it comes to the social part and many times think defferently

Is the reason you feel like crap because everyone around you is telling you different? They may be people you care about and respect and are your family and their opinion does matter to you, but just for now, tell yourself they are full of crap. They are wrong. You know you are not a bad guy. You will be the only one that believes this for now (except for us!).

When I was in the hospital after an attempt, something that helped me for no reason at all was someone else telling me that I had survived Hell (figurative hell). I can now say that I have survived hell (still am) and that helps, because I know it, no one else even needs to know.

You are survivng hell right now. Keep surviving hell, and you will have something no one else on this planet can even conceive of.

Keep listening to yourself. I am not a bad guy , I just have asperger's , actually I am a good looking boy and I behave well but I am very weak when it comes to the social part and many times think defferently.

seriously, you need to talk to a professional about your suicidal feelings. It's common for people to feel super depressed, but when you are constantly thinking about ending your life, it is extremely important to talk to someone, anyone. Life IS worth living, suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Good luck and pm me if you need somebody to chat with...

Faysal, you're welcome to pm me as well. People do truly care. Those feelings are hard to deal with, but hang in there. Really, reach out to people here, and most immediately, if you have any fears that you will hurt yourself please call a hotline or 911. Don't let the depression win.

Please pause. Use this link: http://suicidehotlines.com/
I care

Faysal, I know it probably seems impossible right now, but I swear to you that gradually, as you get older, you will figure out what makes you happy, and also gain the tools to go after that happiness that you deserve. You can speed up the process a bit by consciously paying attention to how you feel, and what made you feel that way, and consciously pursuing the stuff that makes you happy. Right now you're just so full of pain that there doesn't seem to be any space for happiness but I assure you it is there and you can make it grow. Please PM me if you think it would help to talk, sometimes a stranger who doesn't judge is the best place to put some of that hurt. I'm so sorry you're in so much pain, I know how overwhelming and hopeless it can be. You're not alone.

Faysal, I just re-read my previous post and realized that I seem to be saying that suicidal feelings can be controlled by happy thoughts - that is sadly not the case, in my experience. You can influence your own emotions by giving importance to the positive, was what I meant, and it's worth it to try. I agree with AbqAsP: You are surviving hell right now. Keep surviving hell, and you will have something no one else on this planet can even conceive of.. Give yourself the credit you deserve for the strength you have to exert every moment of every day that nobody even notices, and if it's an option, consider PhoenixArte's suggestion to relocate to a better environment. And please, PM somebody, even if it isn't me; it's crucial that you realize how NOT ALONE you are. And how strong you are. And how many people would be honored to help if you would give them a chance. You've already taken the most difficult step, by starting this thread; don't stop now. It gets better. You have all my respect. You are strong.