Post-aspie guilt?

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This question goes out to those who were diagnosed later in life, however if you were diagnosed early and can still relate, please feel free to post your answer.

I just recently discovered what "Asperger's" was. It's explained many of the difficulties I've had in life. I'm viewed by loved ones as a "well intentioned weirdo." I have embarrassed friends at parties, said akward things to my girlfriend, and have had very personal, very uncomfortable conversations with complete strangers.

I've blown off dates and neglected friends, so I could stay at home and play video games.

I'm so grateful to the people who looked past my flaws and became part of my life. Thankful to the point where I'm now stating to feel very guilty and unworthy of their company. I just want to tell them that I have aspergers, but I don't think that would solve anything.

I've come to the conclusion that the only thing I can do that will alleviate this guilt, is to be the best person in the world I can possibly be. Have any of you felt the way I do? Did you tell your friends and family after you found out? How did you manage to get past the guilt? Thanks for reading, I hope you share some of your experiences so that I might learn from them.

Yeah I had feelings like that my life and uniqueness that we crave and love were somehow less authentic if it was not my work but a byproduct of a condition.

I don't understand what you mean. - You feel guilty since people treated you well now that you know you have Asperger's?

I feel less guilty, because everything I was abused/bullied for can basically be explained by AS.

Being diagnosed at age 49 took a huge weight off my shoulders.

Guilt for not succeeding in school, in a career, in relationships. Guilt for letting people down generally. It all just floated away.

I no longer feel I am at the mercy of other peoples judgement, and can start to be myself.

I'm 67, diagnosed at 65, and I don't really understand why you feel guilty now. Your life experiences sound very familiar to me, with much, much more, but like the previous poster, diagnosis and studying Asperger's removed a lot of guilt I was carrying, for being "lazy" or "stupid" (and I knew "stupid" in the objective sense was not what I was, but I did such DUMB things, many or most of them explained by Asperger's).

I understand your guilt. We only just figured out that I sustained a brain injury late in my mom's pregnancy (it was to the right hemisphere, which controls things such as social skills, so I have many aspie characteristics) and I felt horribly guilty- making everyone else around me deal with the effects of my injury.

You guilt is, however, not logical. We non-NTs all think differently, and that offers something to society really. Sure we have our issues, but so do NTs. No one is perfect. Asphergers is not a disease- it's a variation of neurobiology. It's simply a less common neuroconfiguration. So what if we're a little "quirky?"

I mean, look at it this way. To use myself as an example (not trying to be self-centered, but I do not know any other non-NTs well enough to use them as an example) social skills are not intuitive in me, but, therefore cheating and lying and manipulating others is just not in my nature. So, in a way, not being NT can IMPROVE you

I don't understand why feeling guilt for this? While I am glad for friends who understand my frequent need to isolate myself, I don't know why I would feel guilty about isolating myself.

If anything, figuring this stuff out is alleviating my guilt. Whether I actually have Asperger's or not, I am looking at my autistic traits in a different way now. Rather than blaming myself, thinking I'm a total screw-up, etc. I am realizing (like it or not) this is just the way I am.

Actually, I'm angry. People in my life didn't accept my differences, they gave me hell for them. I feel like I've been cheated out of things I might have had if I had been able to understand myself earlier in life. It was too hard to keep trying at anything with people telling me what I did wrong all the time. I don't feel grateful to any of those people. I think they should have some guilt for the way they treated me, NOT vice versa.

No. I don't feel any guilt. Perhaps the others should feel guilt for how they treated me.

Guilt? Wassat? How do you pronounce it, and what does it mean?

I feel guilty for lying so I could have alone time, which very important to me, but for years hard to explain even to myself.

I feel guilty for basically pretending normal with a former girlfriend, and ending up hurting her.

nope, if anything i felt bad for myself. course i've never really felt empathy in any form.

but more then anything it gave me an understanding about why i did things i did. but guilt for others nope.

I am not guilty but I feel regret over all of the things and experiences I have missed out on over the years.

Yes, I can relate to you very much. My friends abandoned me at points in my life. Hey it will all pay off someday.

but no guilt for being me I have struggled through life though now with an NT wife that says she understands me.