Have you ever dated a psychopath/narcissist?

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CaptainTrips222
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12 Jan 2012, 11:27 pm

Tell me, what happened? How did you deal with it? Did it bother you?

My idea of a narcissist: I'll attack you, deny that I attacked you, blame you for it, claim you attacked me, and no matter how passive you are, I'll set you up for a verbal fight. Oh, and I'll insult you. Garbage like that.



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13 Jan 2012, 12:33 am

I was married to a psychopath for a year and a half. He's now on death row in Mississippi.

No sh*t.


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MountainLaurel
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13 Jan 2012, 12:38 am

Twice, narcissists. Both short lived relationships. They both started out very well then they suddenly blew up when their lies were revealed and fell like houses of cards.

I felt like I'd been in beautiful weather when suddenly a tornado blew up. I was aghast about the width, depth and detail of their lies. I left them immediately. The pain was very short lived, those two gigantic liars were very easy to get over.



CaptainTrips222
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13 Jan 2012, 1:13 am

MountainLaurel wrote:
Twice, narcissists. Both short lived relationships. They both started out very well then they suddenly blew up when their lies were revealed and fell like houses of cards.

I felt like I'd been in beautiful weather when suddenly a tornado blew up. I was aghast about the width, depth and detail of their lies. I left them immediately. The pain was very short lived, those two gigantic liars were very easy to get over.


Wish I was as smart as you.



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13 Jan 2012, 1:36 am

I have been in a relationship with a narcissist. Maybe two. I sometimes wonder about my last gf. The other one definitely though. She is indescribably evil. Thankfully my other relationships have been with more or less normal women


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CaptainTrips222
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13 Jan 2012, 1:45 am

Vigilans wrote:
I have been in a relationship with a narcissist. Maybe two. I sometimes wonder about my last gf. The other one definitely though. She is indescribably evil. Thankfully my other relationships have been with more or less normal women


With words like that, she's definitely a narcissist. You almost wonder if narcissism has a supernatural element, it's so bad.



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13 Jan 2012, 3:13 am

CaptainTrips222 wrote:
Vigilans wrote:
I have been in a relationship with a narcissist. Maybe two. I sometimes wonder about my last gf. The other one definitely though. She is indescribably evil. Thankfully my other relationships have been with more or less normal women


With words like that, she's definitely a narcissist. You almost wonder if narcissism has a supernatural element, it's so bad.


I cannot wrap my mind around how completely irrational a narcissist can be. The things that woman put me through; its just unbelievable. I learned a lot, at least, but my life was severely affected, perhaps even to this day


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mv
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13 Jan 2012, 8:23 am

I was married to a narcissist/sociopath. It's really, really sad; I'm pretty sure the abuse he suffered at the hands of his parents made him that way. So far he's a good dad, but I worry...



Asp-Z
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13 Jan 2012, 8:30 am

Damn there are a lot of psychopath/sociopath/narcissist threads on here at the moment :P

One of my ex's was particularly heartless but I don't think I'd call her psychopath. Another lied about all the emotions she had for me, but only sort of... That one's really complicated and I'd rather not get into it, but I don't think she's a psychopath either.



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13 Jan 2012, 8:57 am

i dated an actual, diagnosed psychopath. he pursued me for 2 years before i agreed to date him. he was able to manipulate my actions quite effectively, but not my emotions. he used to do insane s**t to try to get a reaction out of me, i.e. threatening to bomb buildings, 'pretending' to choke me while actually putting pressure on my throat. i only dated him for 2 weeks before i dumped him, then he slept with my sister to try to upset me, but i didn't care. he physically abused his next gf.


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bookworm285
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13 Jan 2012, 4:01 pm

Yes, I've had two long-term relationships like that. The therapist told me what I'm doing wrong is this - I was going out with men who didn't take no for an answer the first time. They would persist until I would date them, persist until I was in a relationship, etc.

Now that I am free for the second time, I am determined never to get in that situation again.



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13 Jan 2012, 4:51 pm

bookworm285 wrote:
Yes, I've had two long-term relationships like that. The therapist told me what I'm doing wrong is this - I was going out with men who didn't take no for an answer the first time. They would persist until I would date them, persist until I was in a relationship, etc.

Now that I am free for the second time, I am determined never to get in that situation again.


Someone who doesn't take no for an answer should ring sirens. Because, what else would they ignore when you say no?



bookworm285
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13 Jan 2012, 8:01 pm

smudge wrote:
"Someone who doesn't take no for an answer should ring sirens. Because, what else would they ignore when you say no?"

EXACTLY! I found that out the hard way....

In the last relationship I told the man he wasn't my boyfriend 1 1/2 years earlier, but tried to stay "friends." I asked him one last time if we could change things in the relationship because I really wanted him only. He said "you'll find someone else." I did. I told him I was going to date again. He went crazy.

I got away, moved, and cut all ties.

What a painful life lesson....



TeaEarlGreyHot
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13 Jan 2012, 8:07 pm

Yes. I divorced him.


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14 Jan 2012, 1:03 am

Never dated. I worked with them in corporate America though. I have learned to recognize them within 10-15 minutes of talking/interacting with them. They usually dislike me, to a point of hating me, because their fake charm doesn't work on me.

A guy working at my hair salon is a psychopath. I'm sure of it. Naturally he recently got promoted to manager. A good friend of mine (a very nice man) who worked there for years quit shortly thereafter. Psychopaths can usually be found in leadership positions. Sooner or later others in the chain of command will figure them out. It takes years though, at which point they will move on and go work somewhere else and start all over again.



CaptainTrips222
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14 Jan 2012, 4:11 am

Dilbert wrote:
] Psychopaths can usually be found in leadership positions. Sooner or later others in the chain of command will figure them out. It takes years though, at which point they will move on and go work somewhere else and start all over again.


But what I can't understand is, why does it take years? How do they have everyone so fooled, when it's obvious what they are. Even when you point out everything they've done, it's like people like them so much they just don't wanna see them for what they are, so they rationalize the behavior. It's often blatant, but everyone is too f*cking stupid to see it. Even otherwise intelligent people deny it.