Should dating sites be taken seriously?

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I always hear mixed messages from people when it comes to dating websites. Some say that they only a bit of fun. Others are really seriously looking for a future partner on them. Then I hear the opinion that they're not a healthy way of getting into a relationship.

Just wondering is all.

I know people who've met their wives and husbands on dating sites. I've even met girls on forums

As long as you and your partner are in a position to meet up IRL, relationships which start online are perfectly healthy, and dating websites can work for a lot of people. Not all people, but a lot of them.

They should be but unfortunately they aren't. The majority of people just use them to get have their ego's stroked.

Yes.

It is true that many people on the dating websites are creeps, losers or don't take it seriously.

It also depends where you live. If you live in a rural area, there's probably only 5 members who live 25 minutes away. If you live in a very urban area, there's probably over a hundred.

Its worth trying if you are physically attractive (because photos matter 70% and have your act together.

I don't really know, I think that's up to the individual using one....I find such websites can be useful for finding people to meet up with and see where things go from there. But I can't imagine ever actually starting the relationship without spending time together IRL.

I would say Facebook starts more relationships in my experience. People who arent total strangers reconnecting, or friends of friends, etc.

I think electronic dating has expanded beyond traditional dating sites. Facebook, twitter, etc. Things that people can check throughout the day without drawing attention.

Last edited by simon_says on 25 Jan 2012, 3:40 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Dating only works if you enter into it naturally and organically. If that's through a dating website, then fine. Dating websites in and of themselves don't work, it's the people that make it work. Timing is essential to relationships, and it's more difficult to gauge the timing online sending messages back and forth. It can still be done, and the main benefit of online is that there is less pressure. So it depends on who you are and what you need. If you and at least one other person take the online thing seriously, then it works. But all relationships are like that.

I think that it can work, but it's like any other kind of dating. You find lots of duds before finding the perfect person for you

QFT.

I met my partner on a gay chat site that stated it was a dating site but was more of a one-night-stand site, and I doubt many hookups would have bothered with the entire night. We entered into it with no expectations of anything more, and took it from there. I imagine most dating websites are the same - some people are out for something serious, but most are just out to get laid, and the relationship talk is just a means to get there. You'll find someone eventually but there's a lot of dross to dig through before you find the treasure.

To be fair, if you make it clear you want a long term relationship on your profile, you'll get more of those types then the people who just want one night stands.

I don't take them seriously, I just use them for the boards, which I state on my profile.

Some people do. I guess you have to be clear what you want.

As someone who is both a creep and a loser, I'm slightly offended

I've been called a creep and I feel like a loser so I guess I should be offended to.

I think they're fun. Go for it!

My mom and step dad have been married for almost 10 years and met on one (match.com). I have a 7 year old and 2 year old half sisters.

They argue a lot though, my stepdad will spend hours and hours on the computer researching random stuff.

I know people who have met their spouse on a dating site and say the reason they think it happened that way was that people can see the 'real you' from the inside (profile info) rather than getting an external image and a set of small talk skills for ages before you can reveal the 'real you' to them. So that sounds as if it could be better that irl interaction in many ways.

The thing that puts me off a bit though is that you can't accurately gauge chemistry with people until you have met them irl. Its not a huge disaster but if I were to use them, I'd find one with a good algorithm for matches which is fairly detailed in the ways that are most relevant (ok cupid, for example), fill it out thoroughly and scan the top few matches, then meet the people really quickly to get onto the chemistry thing.