An Introduction...
Hello,
I think I may have Asperger's syndrome or high-functioning Autism. I'm not self-diagnosing myself.
I'll try to make this as concise as possible:
I'm currently seeing a psychologist who has diagnosed me with OCD, Hypomania (Bipolar), and Depersonalization. I am also currently struggling with chemical dependency issues (energy drinks). Soon I'm going to go to an outpatient program for these issues. My current psychologist doesn't think I have AS but agrees that I may be on the high-functioning autistic spectrum. I've been seeing him since November 2011. Sometimes I think I could be a psychopath or a sociopath but my psychologist doesn't think so. I do know what's right and wrong, but I view the world differently, often in a game theoretical or mathematical perspective, void of emotions and morals—mostly.
I'm aware of confirmation bias (maybe I'm just a nerd/geek). I'll try to be brief on why I believe I might or might not have this condition:
Reasons For
I identify with all the symptoms and circumstances of AS, although some to a limited degree and slightly differently.
I took the Wired Magazine's test and scored above a 32 the second time.
I took rdos's quiz and got a 186/200 on the AS section, and a very low score on the NT section.
I've suffered depression my whole life.
Intense focus and resilience mostly
I have addiction/obsessive issues (substances, activities).
A childhood psychologist thought I was Narcissistic.
I think (and I've been told) that my intelligence is above the normal range.
Very libertarian
I solve and think about problems differently.
I'm left-handed.
I've always wanted to be an engineer and entrepreneur.
People have called me an as*hole and I don't understand why.
People have called me weird and I don't understand why.
I have never been intimate with a girl.
Sometimes I act like a 6 year old and I don't know why.
Sometimes I get really annoyed and frustrated and I don't know why.
Reasons Against
I took the Wired Magazine's test and scored below a 32 the first time.
At 18 years old, I took two online Myers-Briggs personality tests and scored ENTP.
I don't identify/associate with the stereotypical view of AS individuals (genius, weird).
No one has ever told me I had AS.
I feel somewhat normal.
I remember playing with others as a child.
I've taught myself to be more social.
I can multitask.
I know what is appropriate and inappropriate in social situations—mostly.
I'm very mature—sometimes.
I never had any significant impairment.
Also, I have general questions:
1. Does AS mean you have zero empathy? Because I think I have some measurable empathy and it's not null; I think I can teach myself to be empathetic. For example, I have a hard time understanding why people give tips at a restaurant, but I've learned to just do it. Maybe this is why I'm a libertarian. Could anyone give me advice?
2. Does AS mean you are incapable of understanding sarcasm, irony, idioms, and proverbs? I feel like I can learn to understand particular examples if I study them carefully or someone explains them to me.
3. I've read that people with AS lack imagination and abstraction— Is this true? I remember playing with others as a kid ( cops and robbers). I also believe I have a vivid imagination, although it's more geared towards creating worlds, scenarios, and building structures. In college, I remember having an extremely difficult time understanding modern and post-modern American literature and symmetric groups in algebra (although I heard this is easy for people with AS).
4. Are people with AS incapable of humor? I feel like I can understand and show humor.
5. Are people with AS incapable of showing emotion? I believe I can, but it's more robot-like.
6. Does anyone else constantly try to predict people's behaviors but get them wrong constantly? I've always thought I understood people, but I'm beginning to realize that's not the case...
7. What's it like for someone with AS to look at someone in the eyes? I find it uncomfortable. It physically hurts. I have taught myself to do it, but it's not natural—it's artificial.
8. Is anyone addicted to caffeinated products? I've been addicted for several years, and I've noticed my cognitive functioning is severely impaired, but it gives me motivation and makes me feel euphoric. Maybe caffeinated products have exacerbated my problems. I'm also suffering from DP, which makes me feel as though I really do have AS.
I welcome any questions or suggestions anyone has for me! I'm not accustomed to these forums, so forgive me if I break any norms. Also, I don't intend to offend anyone.
Thanks.
Last edited by fishsticks on 01 Feb 2012, 4:06 pm, edited 5 times in total.
Thank you.
I would like to add that I've been depressed my whole life. After high school, I decided to stop playing WoW 24/7 and began studying math and business. Since then I haven't been depressed. I really like my new self. Now if only I can get rid of my DP that I've had for the last four months...
TenPencePiece
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There is a variety of symptoms. There is no 100% link between autism and symptoms. You have a stereotype point of view of autism, which makes you think you're not. I had the same approach too. Asperger's syndrom can vary both in quality and intensity among individuals. It's more a matter of how the brain is wired than the things you can do. Aspie do not lack faculties, they just get a little bit mixed up.
This may be linked to social issues, or at least the way you look at social issues.
Are you a Southpark fan too?
Thanks. Yes I am! It's one of the few TV shows that I watch.
I agree. I do have a stereotypical point of view. For instance, the South Park episode represents an exaggerated view that I have. I've also met a lot of people at school who fit into (and support) my point of view. I know it's wrong and I hope to change this point of view by learning more on this internet forum.
A little background:
I became addicted to video games because it was an escape for me. While living at home, my parent was abusive, strict, domineering, and video games were a way to get away from that environment.
Maybe people that are depicted as Asperger have generally important symptoms, because the fact that they are spotted as Asperger is due to the noticeability of their symptoms. So it gets round a circle and we get a view of Asperger that does not include more subtle symptoms.
In what country are you ?
In what country are you ?
I live in the US. I don't think I have any profound symptoms that inhibit me from living a normal life. However, I do find myself doing weird/peculiar things and then correct myself. I guess the only thing that is bad/severe is friendships/relationships.
Zhane
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CockneyRebel
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Age: 50
Gender: Male
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Location: In my little Olympic World of peace and love
Must meet criteria A, B, C, and D:
A. Persistent deficits in social communication and social interaction across contexts, not accounted for by general developmental delays, and manifest by all 3 of the following:
1. Deficits in social-emotional reciprocity; ranging from abnormal social approach and failure of normal back and forth conversation through reduced sharing of interests, emotions, and affect and response to total lack of initiation of social interaction,
2. Deficits in nonverbal communicative behaviors used for social interaction; ranging from poorly integrated- verbal and nonverbal communication, through abnormalities in eye contact and body-language, or deficits in understanding and use of nonverbal communication, to total lack of facial expression or gestures.
3. Deficits in developing and maintaining relationships, appropriate to developmental level (beyond those with caregivers); ranging from difficulties adjusting behavior to suit different social contexts through difficulties in sharing imaginative play and in making friends to an apparent absence of interest in people
B. Restricted, repetitive patterns of behavior, interests, or activities as manifested by at least two of the following:
1. Stereotyped or repetitive speech, motor movements, or use of objects; (such as simple motor stereotypies, echolalia, repetitive use of objects, or idiosyncratic phrases).
2. Excessive adherence to routines, ritualized patterns of verbal or nonverbal behavior, or excessive resistance to change; (such as motoric rituals, insistence on same route or food, repetitive questioning or extreme distress at small changes).
3. Highly restricted, fixated interests that are abnormal in intensity or focus; (such as strong attachment to or preoccupation with unusual objects, excessively circumscribed or perseverative interests).
4. Hyper-or hypo-reactivity to sensory input or unusual interest in sensory aspects of environment; (such as apparent indifference to pain/heat/cold, adverse response to specific sounds or textures, excessive smelling or touching of objects, fascination with lights or spinning objects).
C. Symptoms must be present in early childhood (but may not become fully manifest until social demands exceed limited capacities)
D. Symptoms together limit and impair everyday functioning.
I'm starting to think I don't have AS. I'm pretty skeptical because of over diagnosis (rightfully so). The DSM explanation is really vague and abstract. Maybe I have autistic traits but I'm not on the spectrum. It's really confusing. I don't know. I don't have a hard time working or going to school (although I had to take a break from college because of DP). I do have difficulty in social and familial environments. I don't eat cardboard for fun (but I used to do stuff like this when I was young, which seems normal), I currently don't have motor impairments (besides being clumsy) (when I was a kid, I had more impairments but they seem to have gone away), I don't memorize camera models, and I can communicate pretty well (at the present). A lot of these descriptions seem normal to me. Doesn't everyone do this stuff? I especially don't identify with category D (although I may be in denial and some people may disagree, like my mother lol). Maybe that's because the stuff I'm interested in relates to many different careers and I haven't really offended anyone.
And given the new changes to the definition, it will be harder to be diagnosed. Although I can probably relate to all the criteria, my behaviors are so mild that I can function (like have a career, go to school, make friends). No one has been offended by my certain body positions, for instance. If my behaviors aren't egregious, then... I believe they are subtle, one has to know what they are looking for. I may just appear peculiar but nothing too extreme.
Last edited by fishsticks on 02 Feb 2012, 3:26 pm, edited 2 times in total.
What kind of things ?
This can be due to other things, of course.
Umm... I do weird body movements and I don't know why and I do them all the time. I pace around a lot thinking about math (I'm in college), I talk to myself, talk formally, correct people, repeat myself, get irritated/annoyed sometimes, stare at people (especially faces sometimes), I pretend I'm writing math with my hands, I skip, I run around in the city trying to step in the concrete slabs (1 or two steps depending on size lol), and about a dozen or two other things...
Last edited by fishsticks on 02 Feb 2012, 3:27 pm, edited 2 times in total.
I didn't start to realize I did weird things until I went to college. Maybe it's stress or something lol? I think I first started to think something was odd when I had a teacher tell me I use language weird (idiomatic use (WTF?), not concise/brief, not simple, correct grammar but odd, advanced vocabulary, etc). I really struggled but I ended up doing really well in the class by adapting (He said he never met anyone like me. I don't know whether to take that as a compliment or an insult). I also started realizing I do weird body twists/contortions. I think after googling these things I first heard about AS and I related to a lot of the stuff.
Let's just say the only time I enjoy social interaction is when I'm "under the influence", with kids, or talking about interesting things, besides that I'm socially ret*d and an as*hole.
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