Stress at Home

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I've been trying not to complain about my family so much, but I'm really agitated right now. My dad keeps throwing fits, and I have a very, er, autistic reaction to them. I stim when he starts yelling, then he yells at me for stimming, so my next reaction is to bite on my wrist (so I don't flap), and so he yells at me for 'self-mutilating.' Part of the problem I have with my dad is that he <i>always</i> sounds angry and I'm not sure how to deal with it. He's constantly loud, and I'm not so good with noise, and he follows his own advice to people dealing with autistic children.

This is just wonderful. He hands out those little Autism Speaks business cards that say "Talk LOUDLY AND SLOWLY so they can understand!"

And he does this. To me. Even though he knows I have a high IQ. Even though he knows I get hundreds on tests I've never studied for. Even though he knows I have a cinematographic memory. He talks to me like I'm mentally ret*d. And, of course, he claims that I talk to him like he's 'an imbecile,' or a 'fatass,' or 'evil.'

I've never called him any of those, but he acts like I do.

I'm not entirely sure how to deal with this. I'm very on edge about telling a teacher or social worker at school, because last time I got sent to a psych ward. [I was told by all of the other people in the psych ward how my dad is trying to 'help' me learn 'life skills.'] Psych wards suck. They don't tell you <i>that</i> on the suicide hotline. Aside from them considering your reluctance to eat horrible food a sign of depression, the roaming psychiatrists, nurses wanting to steal some of your blood [what the hell are they doing with it, drinking it? Serving it under the guise of tomato soup?], and group therapy [yes, send an aspie to group therapy. That can not possibly backfire.], I think the only thing that stuck with my was that it's not socially acceptable to try and get help either. The solution to someone saying, "Hey, I'm completely miserable here, and I don't want to do this anymore," is to put them somewhere where they can be ignored.

Long story short, I don't want to call the Suicide Hotline, I don't want to call my grandparents because they might try and have me call the suicide hotline, and I'm not calling my therapist, because she might tell my mother who might tell my father who will go on a rampage if he catches wind of this. Actually, he's already going on a rampage.

He might go on a bigger rampage.

I'm not sure what I'm going to do.

[Don't worry, I don't have the means to kill myself, nor the will/audacity. I'll still be here tomorrow. Unless we get some sort of freak, winter tornado that hurls me under a bus, but what's the chance of that happening?]

I think the slash goes after the i, or try different syntax

There is a daycare at my house and I have 2 much younger siblings, and my parents argue to much (I am not there right now). Are you old enough to drive? If so just try to go to the library or something along those lines. Or put headphones on most of the time at home.

Your dad is being abusive. When he yells at you like that, leave the house if possible. He is the one with the problem not you. Please do not internalize his behavior.

Sweet Pea hugs

You should get out of that setting as soon as possible. You don't deserve all that abuse. Are there any shelters in your area. How about subsidized housing and apartments? Once you make your escape, don't give him your number or tell him where you live. This is all the help I can give you.

To the OP, how old are you?

I'd like to point out that it's possible your dad has good intentions, but regardless, his behavior is clearly harmful to you. What matters is how it affects you and not the intent.