I was also told to read it after my own Dx; I didn't mention I had already read it twice and watched all of Rudy's talks on YouTube. Highly recommended, definitely.
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there are not any doctors that I have found near where I live that have a good understanding of ASD's in adult women and even the one who gave me a conditional diagnosis (he wants me to spend still more money on testing) seems to feel that there is no benefit to giving me a diagnosis since there are no drugs to cure it and I seem to have developed some coping skills.
Yeah, it took a long search before I found a psychologist who had worked with Tony Attwood, and was therefore up on all the latest info regarding women with AS. Turns out she was practicing 5 mins from where I grew up, which was perfect because I could drag my mother along to one of the sessions. Talk about luck.
I was worried, though, that given my educational achievements I would get scoffed at, so I wrote a two page 'essay' for the psych about why I felt I needed to be assessed and know one way or the other. It's much easier for me to be articulate on paper. Maybe that's an avenue to try? Everyone has their own reason as to why a diagnosis would be beneficial, and if you can articulate that maybe the Dr would be a little more understanding. Who knows...
Anyway, good luck with it all - it can be a bit of a minefield.