REALLY really need some advice please. :/

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I am new to this board and I really need some advice, I know none of you are doctors etc but I wanted to tell you a little bit about my son.

For starters, I am a SAHM mom to 3 kids, ages 7, 4 and 1. My husband works out of town 3 weeks out of the month so I am with my kids 24/7 literally (except when my 7yr is in school). I feel like I am losing it.. everytime I bring up anything about aspergers to my husband he doesn't get it, when I mention it to my mother she just says my son is mature and bored at home all day with me. But this is eating away at me. I really feel alone.. ok ahh now on to my son.


My son is 4yrs old, when he was born he was a very difficult baby, he would scream from 7pm-2am every single night. Nothing could console him.. he finally outgrew that around 12 months and was a wonderful toddler. He was a early talker and has talked extremely well in full sentences from a very young age. He also basically potty trained himself. No problems with either one of those areas.
Now to explain why I feel he is a little different... Now I am not sure if this is normal 4yr old behavior or not..so someone please let me know.
I am just going to list some things..
He thinks everyone is his friend.. our neighbor who he doesnt know he calls him by his name and says hi JAKE and waves and just stares at him. Everytime he sees him in his backyard he will run outside and say HI JAKE, Jake doesnt talk to him.
When we go out in public he always starts acting out.. acting odd.. if someone asks him whats your name? A Majority of the time he will just start going blah blah blah or go pshh. or smack his forehead, he will never really answer.
People always just look at me like I have this out of control non listening kid. For example.. when he went to the dentist the other day he was laid back watching a movie and the hygenist had shined the light on his teeth..well he said Move that light, its hurting my eyes, Move it... she said "use your manners" and he just kept saying move the light its burning my eyes and they had to get him some sunglasses. She thought he was being so rude..but I KNOW he was not, that he just comes off that way a lot to outsiders. The light was just hurting his eyes and I knew that but she assumed he was just being a bossey little kid.
He is very loud when he talks, doesnt really know that its not okay to be so loud when he talks when he is told daily. lol

At home he is very sweet,he loves hugs and kisses and for me to rub his back, but when we go out he acts completely different.
If you read this far, thank you.
I am sure I am forgetting some things and I know this doesnt explain everything he does because I feel like I am forgetting something.. if you have any questions, please ask. Thanks

Hi Stephanie, welcome to WP. I am really grateful for this forum because have found lots of great advice and information. Knowing that we are all experiencing similar issues has helped me feel not so alone, hopefully it will bring you some comfort also.

I am also a SAHM and my husband has a time consuming job, so I understand how you can feel lonely. Try to join meetups for aspie kids where you can meet other families who are also experiencing the same things you are and are more accepting of your son's different behavior.

Regarding your son, it may help getting an official diagnosis, we got ours from the school psychologist (free) but when dd and ds were in preschool we were able to receive other services, speech and occupational therapy through the regional center and public school. I would ask the school office (where your 7 yo attends) for the phone # or email of their school psychologist, since your 4 yo will soon attend Kinder in Sept and try to get an IEP. You can also ask his pediatrician and take it from there. Anyways, your mother and husband may be more supportive if you have an official "expert" (of course no one knows your kids like you do) and a diagnosis behind you.

Regarding your 4 year old's behavior. My dd was exactly the same...everyone was her best friend. I had to teach her (immediately after behavior) that if she waved at another girl (in a very enthusiastic way and they did not respond (ignored her) it was rude on their part and she needed to stay away from them. She had NO fear of strangers, so I had to keep a strict eye on her and teach her stranger danger. She also had no concept of personal space, and loved hugging Everyone. She also is a daydreamer, and was originally dx with ADD in Kinder but looking back, she was just overwhelmed with it all and retreated within. Kinder teacher told me that she did not listen, so we got her hearing tested and she was fine.
Maybe your son is able to function great at home because he is familiar with his surrounding but when he goes to a new place it is hard for him to cope. Has your husband and/or mother seen his odd behavior in an unfamiliar place? Seeing it first hand helps get the message across.

Hang in there and best wishes.

StephanieH - are you in the States? If so, you can contact your local school district about having him evaluated (no cost to you) if you have reason to believe he may have any issues. Someone will probably have a lengthy conversation with you and ask you lots of questions before they decide to see him, so be prepared for that.

If it makes you feel any better, I think your dentist is a dunce for not giving the child sunglasses as a matter of course. It is not possible for a child to watch that TV on the ceiling with the light blaring in his face! Any 4 yo would complain if you turned on a movie then did something that prevented them from being able to see it! Our dentist automatically offers the child sunglasses. I also find it helpful for the hygenist to explain everything she is going to do before she does it. I sometimes have to be insistent that they do this but they have finally gotten the point.

The stares from people in public can be tough to tolerate. When he is not listening it may be because he is overwhelmed by other stimuli. This does happen with many ASD kids but also with NT kids. Try and watch what types of environments he has a hard time in, noisy restaurants, busy play areas... and maybe try to avoid those. We go to the library a lot where there are lots of things to look at but it is quiet and there are not a lot of people moving around.

Good luck!