What's the biggest obstacle to socializing for you?

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What *exactly* is the biggest obstacle to socializing for you?

For me, it's:
1) Inability to talk socially - that is, I have no interest in, or at least don't find it natural to exchange opinions on different matters or people with other people.

2) Inability to grasp social rules - don't know when to say hi, when to approach, when not to approach, when to say something, when not to, etc, etc.

3) Inability to read most body language.

4) Constant zoning out/being in my own world.

Not knowing if I'm breaking some social rule, or missing a cue.

Having zero ability to engage in small talk, or any kind of talk, if it doesn't involve me sharing or receiving important and/or interesting information.

I feel really uncomfortable when I'm alone with someone else, because then it feels like the burden of conversation is crushing me. I could care less if the other person speaks to me, but I feel like THEY must care that I'm not talking to THEM, so then I feel really anxious and uncomfortable. I feel so completely handicapped in situations like that...when I'm by myself, I feel like I'm perfectly 'normal'. When someone comes up to me and says "Hi", and I just say "Hey" in return and then look away or return to what I was doing without attempting to engage that person any further, I'm reminded that I am definitely not 'normal.'

As mentioned above, not sure if I am misinterpreting or missing social cues.

Also being overwhelmed by amount of information zooming around the immediate area.

And after a social situation, spending hours processing what was said or done that might have been misinterpreted, which can take me a couple of hours, or a few days depending.

(1) I tend to get distracted by everything going on around me.

(2) I feel like I'm ignoring people when that uncomfortable silence descends because I don't know how to respond or don't know how someone wants me to react.

(3) When I try to overcome (2) and hazard a response, more often than not I get yelled at or treated like I'm an idiot.

(4) Due to (3), I become sullen and withdrawn.

Lacking all social speak.

The biggest obstacle for me are people.

Other people missing my cues.

-Difficulties asking the other person questions.

-I can empathise but I find it difficult to offer advice or suggestions.

-I can't think of the right thing to say until it's too late, so I end up just saying, ''yes'' and ''no'' and ''um'' and ''arr'' and so on.

-I can't seem to get a word in edgeways when in a group, or if I do speak I'm always afraid I'm interrupting.

-I worry what I'm saying and doing and what other people think of me, which is why I never say much in a conversation.

-I don't really know much about anything, I sound stupid most of the time



That's it really. It mostly depends on the person I am talking to, but with anybody I speak to I always have at least one of these problems. But I do like talking to people, so there aren't many obstacles with me. I can read body language and all of that fine.

- Sensory issues with smoky areas ( I suffer from cigarette smoke) and loud music (I can't hear what anyone says and it also has a bad effect on my mood).
- Short attention-span on what other's say
- Can't relate to what's being said in a conversation
- Not knowing what's interesting to others and often wondering why are those things interesting
- Lack of sense of humor / not liking when someone's made fun of
- Lack of energy to socialize
- Apparent lack of empathy (noticing someone's need too late, not noticing at all, not knowing what to do/say)
- General slowness / lack of response
- Face blindness / not remembering names
- Not remembering personal facts, what's been exchanged before in a previous conversation, either
- Not caring
- Distrust (disappointment?)
- Last but not least increased possibility to get hurt feelings, not being able to protect myself properly and interpret others' actions and responses

Communication issues:
Missing body language
Other people misunderstanding my body language
Hard time identifying what words the person is saying (may sound like just a stream of sound)
Hard time understanding the meaning other person is trying to communicate through their words
Hard time translating my thoughts into words
Lack of interest about most topics that other people tend to talk about

A lot of times, I don't know what to say. It's as if all the words in my brain go into hiding when I'm around people. I also have a hard time understanding what people are saying, especially in a noisy environment such as my former place of employment.

My brain obviously won't make whatever "pleasure" chemical typical brains produce that make socializing feel rewarding so I just feel drained, scared, and ready to run home fast.

My biggest obstacle is my apartment door. I prefer to stay on the inside of it.

1.) I often don't recognize people when I see them in an odd place. People don't understand when I explain this to them. I think they take it personally for some reason.

2.) Loud people make me want to punch something (not that I do, I just REALLY want to).

3.) Sometimes my friends ask me to spend all of my day off with them. When I say "how about three hours," they sometimes get offended, especially my closest friend.

4.) I find conversations that revolve around different people relaying stories with loose connections to one another boring. Meanwhile, people (usually guys) boasting about their knowledge on any particular topic is inconceivably irritating. It's almost as bad as women who make too much eye contact with me while attempting to forcibly obtain my opinion on which famous actor is the most attractive.


That being said, I know enough people that understand me that I'd say I'm fairly social. I am a private person, though I do enjoy a random outing with other odd-ball interesting people. I am very blessed.