Page 1 of 1 [ 6 posts ] 

monkees4va
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 2 Sep 2008
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 379
Location: Scotland

23 Feb 2012, 8:47 pm

My love life has always been a little slow, for various reasons. A big one of which is that I hardly ever notice anyone showing interest in me, although my family and friends notice almost instantly. Plus my last relationship lasted three years and didn't end well. However, there seems to be this guy that could possibly be interested. My parents seem to think so anyway, and are continuously riding my back on if we're talking and whats happening etc.
I met him in my local on a typical saturday night (I sing karaoke with my mum). He sat in the table next to us with one of the regulars (who turned out to be his uncle), but was silent. When I went up to sing he was directly under the screen, but didn't think much of it. When I sat back down my mum excitingly told me he was staring at me through the whole song. He was still silent, so when squeezing back into my seat later on in the night I made a joke as I passed him. It started a conversation, where I learned he'd just moved here from england. He asked to see me the following week, which I agreed too. He never turned up, but the bar owner came up to me and said he'd asked to get my facebook, and didn't come out because his uncle wasn't coming and he'd be on his own. I gave him it, he apologised and asked for the next saturday again. This time he did show up and I had quite a good night, although he sat at my parents table with me. He asked to meet up last night, so this time it would be just the two of us. I agreed, turned up and was stood up. I eventually left and later on received a message on facebook, telling me there was a fire at work and he had to sort it out. I dunno, it just seems a little far fetched to me.
He's never made a romantic move, apart from our thighs touching as we sat down. I'm not sure if he even wants a romantic relationship, as he seems to be giving the signals (as my parents keep assuring me and laughing at my inexperience -.-) but I know I'm crap at noticing them. However thats the second time he's not turned up. I'm too afraid to ask directly, I'd probably word it wrong and freak him out. Plus he doesn't know anyone up here, so I might be his only 'friend'. I guess what I'm asking is what you guys think?


_________________
I'm a girl people!
"Do or do not; there is no try." -Yoda
Your Aspie score: 157 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 65 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie


fraac
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Mar 2011
Age: 45
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,865

23 Feb 2012, 9:01 pm

You'd probably do better by not wondering. Either he is or he isn't; thinking about it won't change that.



Tequila
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 25 Feb 2006
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 28,897
Location: Lancashire, UK

23 Feb 2012, 9:40 pm

Don't like the sound of it. Sounds a bit of a creeper. I wouldn't speak to him again - he's already stood you up twice. Distance yourself from him if you can.



Catman
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 27 Jan 2012
Age: 53
Gender: Male
Posts: 136
Location: Illinois

23 Feb 2012, 9:52 pm

Hey! Creepy guys are people, too! :D


_________________
-------------------------------------------------------------
AQ: 32; EIQ: 69; BAPQ: 114 aloof, 86 rigid, 90 pragmatic
Aspie AS, NT: 109/200, 100/200 (Both traits)
EQ, SQ: 21, 67 (Extreme Systemizing); HSP: 12


BurningMoose
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 19 Jun 2009
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 74

24 Feb 2012, 1:00 am

People flaking on dates was (and to some extent still is) one of the most infuriating, frustrating things I've ever dealt with when it involved members of the other gender. Puts you in your head, makes you wonder what they're doing and why they stood you up...hell, sometimes it makes you ask for advice on the internet ;-)

Personally I have a two-strike policy for this kind of thing, but if the explanation is reasonable, it's not a strike. If they don't show and make no mention of it, or say something that clearly isn't true like their office caught on fire, I'm done with them.

Actually in the middle of a semi-similar situation myself, except the other person has invested a fair amount into "us," so I'm more hesitant to just delete her number and forget about her than I'd normally be. I know it sucks--really, really bad. Especially when you really like the other person and you're great together physically and emotionally.

He's let you know what kind of guy he is--the type to flake and send mixed messages. Fine, that's his deal and now you're aware of it. You have to decide whether it's worth it to invest your energy into that kind of person; nobody can make that decision for you.



Tequila
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 25 Feb 2006
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 28,897
Location: Lancashire, UK

01 Mar 2012, 11:34 am

Any update to this OP?