Appears socially successful but has aspergers?

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I am still learning as much as I can about Aspergers.

I would like to know if it is theoretically possible for a person with Aspergers to appear relatively socially successful in High School? Positions like Student Government, or Public Speaking are one-sided activities that could possibly help make them appear more socially accepted on the surface? Said person could in reality only socialise with their friends outside of school maybe once or twice a week or less, despite people having an impression that the person is very social. Or perhaps the person with Aspergers lucks out and endears himself to the right crowd with humor.


Any information would be very appreciated. I am trying to screen myself to see if perusing a diagnosis is appropriate.

Yes its very possible, its a spectrum so people come in all kinds of shades not just black and white like the lists of traits might make it seem. I think i come across extroverted some of the time in school and outside. But if i have to socialize for a couple hours more and more of myself shows through. Many people look like they are less socially adept then me but they really aren't. I just manage to cope by being straightforward and accepted that i make tons of mistakes. I don't notice most of them anyway.

Doing the subtlety dance is not something aspies are made for, just work with your strong points.

very much possible, but rare to find.
an aspie usually becomes an expert, both theoretically and practicly, in his field of interest; if that field happens to be social interaction, you get an aspie that is very much outgoing and social, and often considered "least likely to be an aspie in the whole group"

Yes, most definitely.

If their key area interest lies there.. You could get an aspie going under the radar.

But to the degree at which their symptoms or idiosyncratic "nuances" with regards to asperger's appears to people in public will definitely vary, some perhaps more obvious, and others less due to people in general noticing their actions and participation in that particular activity rather than their behaviour and expressions.


cheers
skribble

Yup. Just depends how adept at learning "the rules" or some approximation thereof to fake it the individual in question is (or how tolerant the environment, or if they happen to luck out and be a natural fit).

I did a lot better in high school than in elementary or middle. Combination of all factors.

Some of it was the creation of a set of rules and a really harsh internal critic that kept me from making as many mistakes.

A lot of it was moving from a 'burb full of upwardly mobile, status-worshipping yuppie-wannabes to a very rural area. Being blunt, taciturn, and independent went over a hell of a lot better out in the boonies.

Thanks for the very helpful replies.

I am thrilled to enter a job interview or similar scenario because I get to activate "protocol man" and impress the crap out of them with my totally fake smile and fake radio speaking voice I use for these situations. One employer even told me after an interview, "Well, I must say, I'm impressed by your earnestness." If during the interview, my interviewer were to shift the topic to say a personal question about my interests outside of work, then the dynamics of the interview would change, and I would loose the bulk of my enthusiasm. When I was in first year of University, I only went to one or two sociology classes and ended up getting in the top 3 highest grades for the exam in a large theatre classroom of students. Hundreds of questions I didn't study for but the answers seemed to be common sense.

At a new job or place of employment, I often have a number of people who find me really wacky and funny and they will talk to me often at work and I will talk to them and generally be well liked. However, as with every relationship I have there will be a moment usually after the 2 month period that the person will realise i am really friendly at work but never answers their calls outside of work, never goes out with them after work. It's not because I don't like them. It's just that I'd rather not. I often feel that the amount they get to know me at work is "enough".

Usually every job I have starts out with my employers totally blown away my performance, then it deteriorates:

I set a company record for number of "referrals" or people I convinced on the phone to set up a consultation with the company. We had a meeting where they showed us a chart of employee referrals, when my name had a giant mountain of a powerpoint pie piece, I felt totally embarassed that my peers could see and know that. My performance got me a promotion to account manager extremely quickly, but the position I got promoted to also had teaching people how to use the software over the phone. The software handles automation of inventory for ebay users, and I was able to help someone out as long as they didn't ask questions. It usually took 4 phone calls to complete the lessons. I had numerous people who were at 8 lessons, who knew the software but I couldn't be firm enough to say "Look you know how to use it now my job is done with you." Then I finally got a client who was sceptical of the software and would be very frank or blunt in complaining about the features. Eventually every word he said was like stabbing me, even though his concerns were legit and the software sucked. I felt responsible and quit cold Turkey. Emailed my boss that I'm done, thank you for everything, etc, its not you its me and never returned. My boss called me a few times but I simply looked at the phone, saw his name, and never answered.

My son is 17 and was more successful in HS than in elementary.
The show Drake and Josh taught him that HS kids do sports and he never had a prior interest but when he enrolled he signed up for football. The kids basically think he's a serious type. He had a hard time ageing out of his camp, so he applied for a job at 14. He excelled at keeping order and routine. When he was reinterviewed the following summer his Aspie-isms of 'many people shouldn't work here' 'I know I have the job this is a formality'. The girls like him, he was asked out by girls who have similar challenges at first-some nt girls have interest, he's rather passive about it. As his mom I have attempted to re-create dates with him-he can't get past the anxiety of mom/son going out to eat w/o dad or his brother. I remember he took a girl to a party and my dh told him firmly "you bring her home at the end do you understand?" (I was in another room or I would have had the danger in the phrasing) Well, you probably already guessed that he brought the girl back to our house at the end of the night. When I asked my son why she was here he said "dad said bring her home"
He has come very far, although he has made great social strides he still processes information like a typical Aspie. He doesn't lose the Aspie because of it

I was top of my class the few times I was lucky enough to attend Community College even without my early primary education. Everyone else in the class undoubtedly had theirs and appeared to be slow learners. I was tapping my foot and bouncing my knee with the pace of learning so slow. I was told to skip several classes and go on to more advanced learning. It's easy this way to come to the conclusion that the average person, though more capable in many areas, are measurably inferior and maybe why they hate us so much too. I was also accused of being teachers pet (in college) though nothing was further from the truth. You have nothing without a proper education and unfortunately I missed mine, or it was stolen from me through interference by others and lack of support that I needed. Sorry if this is off topic for this thread. I envy anyone who is able to advance and get their degrees and education and about the only thing in life I do envy.

My answer of course is yes.

Most of my male friends have been very surprised to hear me tell them I have AS. The response has been uniform almost down to the same words "You? Aspergers? No Way!". On the other hand, my wife's reaction has been along the lines of "this explains what I've suffered through the past 30 years".

I'm still assimilating the inputs at this point to be honest. On the one hand, the fact that I have male friends I can be honest enough about AS would indicate to me that my social skills can't be that bad. On the other hand, those same male friends haven't lived with me for 30 years, so by definition they don't / can't know me as well as my wife.
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Your Aspie score: 94 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 90 of 200
You seem to have both Aspie and neurotypical traits

i was on student government in high school, i was elected president of my university's students' union several times, as well as a variety of other executive positions.

i am considered outgoing and funny

i am so asperger's the psychologist who diagnosed me couldn't believe it because my social functioning is so high

except when i am freaked out by something unanticipated - then i am stutter guy - totally awkward

i role play and "game model" almost every possible social situation i could ever be in so that i have a selection of "off the shelf" behaviours and responses that fit most social situations.

most of my life everyone knew i was "different" - my friend just knew that was me

i was beaten unmercifully almost every day of grade school...

i didn't become very functional until grade 7 or 8, and in high school

getting the s**t kicked out of you multiple times a day and assaulted in locker rooms has a way of motivating a person to become "expert" at social interaction

[quote="turnipturnup"]Thanks for the very helpful replies.

I am thrilled to enter a job interview or similar scenario because I get to activate "protocol man" and impress the crap out of them with my totally fake smile and fake radio speaking voice I use for these situations.


That is so funny. Made me laugh out loud!

I agree: very possible. I too am a case in point. Nobody even believes me when tell them I'm on the spectrum. I know very well how to "perform" NT. That doesn't mean I feel it inside. Like others have said, our intense focus can turn onto social interactions themselves as easily as anything else. Personally, one of my obsessive interests is personality styles. I'm really good at reading them and at responding with a script that matches the person I'm talking with. Figuring this sort of stuff out saved my life. But, weirdly, it masked my internal experience so much that I wound up feeling even lonelier inside myself with all my anxieties and misunderstandings and fixations.

I can mimic the actions of other people well enough. Only my friends, family and some teachers know about my aspergers, the others are clueless. I'm not an extrovert though, that's the only thing that would probably give me away