Guys,want something that will hugely improve your odds?

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The flaw:
I'm a metrosexual male, with close female friends. Being in this position, I've learn't a few things about female preferences. There's one fatal flaw that so many males fall into, again and again. This is a flaw that will devestate your odds of finding a girlfriend, and yet it's a flaw that's always to remedy. I'm guessing a lot, if not most, aspie males here would have this flaw. The flaw is simple: you dress like s**t. I used to too.

Although perhaps less so amongst aspie females, girls almost unanimously care about clothes. They like clothes and muscle the same way you like breasts. If you're not prepared to dress decently, then you should not expect them to be attracted to you. Perhaps you want to go for the girls who are unaffected by clothes, but lets be realistic, the numbers say you'll fail.

As a dressy male who used to wear the same clothes everyday(bad), and who educated some of his friends to dress well, I'm familiar with all the excuses not to dress well, and all the insecurities behind them. However, after you develop a bit of a taste for clothes, you'll find them fun and interesting. You'll begin to dress for yourself, rather than for girls. Also, it'll boost your confidence around girls, as you'll feel more attractive. Trust me, I've seen it happen many times.

Perhaps you think you genuinely don't care about clothes. If this is true, why not just go shopping for a few days with a female friend, and then leave it at that? There's a very good reason to dress decently (as stated above), so if you're not willing to, then the chances are you're too insecure to. I've been in that position before, and so have my friends. You can get used to wearing something bolder very quickly.

Fixing it
Would you like to dress better? Well to do that you need someone who knows how to dress well. You cannot simply go to the store and buy whatever you like, or whatever the shop assistant recommends. That will end in a disaster. Find a mentor. Some mothers are good, but the best are sisters or certain gay/metro/female friends.

Sadly, very very few less attractive men dress well. I guess it's harder for them to find the confidence, which is understandable. However, if you fall into this category, dressing well will have awesome results for you. Females will see that you have character, and it'll give you a massive advantage over your current competition.

Have fun! Clothes are something personal that you'll enjoy, if only you give them a chance.

Last edited by ooh_choc on 30 Oct 2006, 6:26 pm, edited 6 times in total.

There is a difference of degrees between dressing well and being metrosexual. Are you actually metro or do you just dress well?

I think there should be a disclaimer to your message... Women are attracted to men who dress like men. The whole metrosexual approach could most certainly backfire if overdone. You don't want to out-dress your date! At that point you might as well paint your fingernails and have an asexual slumber party with the gals.

I am not totally disagreeing with you. In fact, you are correct that dressing like a slob is a turn-off for women. It nonverbally tells them that you don't care about taking care of yourself, which also hints at possible self-esteem problems. Maybe even financial problems. You need to dress in a way that displays self-esteem and says "I've got my act together." Looking successful is more important than being successful... not really, but it is the look that triggers an emotional/attraction response in women.


A semi-relevant rant about pink shirts:

I have noticed that pink shirts are "in" now for men. I have heard it said that wearing a feminine color shows that you are secure in your sexuality. But in my opinion this is a backwards approach... wearing an ass-ugly color just to prove you are secure??? I propose wearing stuff you like instead of worrying about proving your sexual security to the world. You pink shirt wearers might as well get printed shirts that say "I swear I'm not gay." And the very idea that you feel you need to prove it speaks louder than words.

I'm more attracted to Routemasters, than I am to Men. I guess that makes me a Roadasexual.

This is absolutely true!

My NT daughter just the other day was talking about how much girls are attracted to men who dress well. She's an interesting person to ask, too, because she has two Aspie brothers, a 20 year old and a 10 year old. Very few men, NT or Aspie, dress well, according to my daughter, and she finds it a turn-off. I use her to help me figure out what are appropriate, fashionable clothes for our 10 year old, which helps him socially at school (I use her to do this because I personally care very little about fashion, and I'm old enough to not be very in tune with what clothes are currently considered fashionable).

You aspie guys need to know something else. There is something very attractive about a well-dressed man, who then surprises you by being unusually bright. Think about it. Most well-dressed guys are either gay, and therefore off-limits to heterosexual women, or they are shallow, and therefore less than bright and not very interesting after the first date. Up steps a well-dressed Aspie guy, and you are unusual (in a good way) and more interesting. There most definitely are girls out there just dying to meet a guy that has a little more to offer in the smarts department. If you aren't dressing nicely, with a good, fashionable haircut, you're basically not giving yourself a chance to meet a girl.

yeah i used to thing i was a snappy dresser despite my gf's complaining about my dress sense, i brought a nice jacket to go out to dinner on the w\end and i got real lucky.
so , good tip, by the way wtf is a metrosexual?

A meterosexual is a male who's very dressy. I guess it's a play on the word "heterosexual", implying they're as dressy as gay people, but still straight.

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tip 1: If you're 16-27(or bit older?) and want something that girls love, and is very hard to screw up, get yourself a black blazer that's not too businessy. For example, a blazer that's got some sort of decorations, or is frayed at the edges. Then, once you've got it, you can wear it over most non black T-shirts. If the blazer is very informal, you can wear it anywhere (eg to the movies). If it's fairly formal (ie almost a suit jacket), then wear it to dressier occasions, such as a party.

tip 2: Some colours match, and some don't. A common trap that should be avoided is wearing two items of clothing that are nearly the exact same colour. For example, don't wear a brown shirt with brown pants. Black things (especially jackets) usually go with most things, and could be a good buy. Just don't dress like a cat burglar.

tip 3: Clothes of a similar style (ie urban street clothes, more formal party clothes, country style clothes), usually go together. When you mix them, you really need to know what you're doing.

tip 4: If you're big around the waist, then black pants are slimming.

dress tip 5: If you're unsure about haircuts, you might want to go to an expensive hairdresser at least once, and tell them to do what they think is best.

tip 6: If style isn't something you pay much attention to, then you won't be good at it. You might have preferences now, but don't trust them. Get someone to help you learn! Although fashion is largely subjective, it is something that always needs to be refined.

tip 7: Make sure your fringe isn't hanging in a straight line across your head. If it is, get a haircut and ask them to change that.

I really don't care to put more than enough effort into my appearance not to look like a slob. Dressing decently (for a heterosexual male) is a lot different from being a metrosexual who's actually into fashion. I'll put in enough effort to attract women but not enough to be vain.

My friend wears black t-shirts all the goddamn time and he has a girlfriend. I wear t-shirts a lot and I started wearing some polo shirts some months back but I'm still lonely. This life does not make any f*****g sense.

lol. I'm a retrosexual male. I like to wear read and black checked shirts. I gues that's why women don't fall at my feet.

Maybe you have a point.

At the beginning of the school year, a girl told me that I would be very attractive if I dressed preppily. It was an interesting thought, and still is an interesting thought, but I hate to compromise myself in the pursuit of the opposite sex. At least not yet.

A lot of the guys who get girls at my school seem to be assertive and attractive (by whose standards?) , but not necessarily smart or mature. They'll probably succeed through high school socially but end up becoming janitors because their stupidity won't let them be anything else.