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Monkey_Zombie
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05 Mar 2012, 7:34 pm

Ok, I'm gonna lay it down straight.

I want a woman in my life to motivate me to do things and to share in my triumphs.

I'm too shy and "intimidating" to be able to talk to a woman RL, and the online dating scene is so limited by making you pay to talk to people that it becomes disheartening. I'm not going to drop money in a bucket on the off chance that I'll meet someone who will actually like me for me.

I tried the dating site attached to this web page but its got broken coding and makes it hard to search or do anything for that matter.

Any of you guys have any advice that can help?



momsparky
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05 Mar 2012, 8:17 pm

Volunteer in mixed-gender projects you really believe in. Dating is a numbers game; the more people you meet who share your values, the better your chances.



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05 Mar 2012, 8:20 pm

OkCupid is a free dating site that you may have better luck with


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Fnord
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05 Mar 2012, 8:21 pm

Monkey_Zombie wrote:
I want a woman in my life to motivate me to do things and to share in my triumphs.

Join the Army.

Image

Female Drill Sergeants - US Army



Vigilans
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05 Mar 2012, 8:27 pm

Fnord wrote:
Monkey_Zombie wrote:
I want a woman in my life to motivate me to do things and to share in my triumphs.

Join the Army.

Image

Female Drill Sergeants - US Army


Nothing better to help a man along the path to heterosexual monogamy than hanging out with a bunch of sweaty men 24/7 and getting screamed at by angry, muscular, scary women with guns


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Opportunities multiply as they are seized. -Sun Tzu
Nature creates few men brave, industry and training makes many -Machiavelli
You can safely assume that you've created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do


Fnord
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05 Mar 2012, 8:37 pm

Vigilans wrote:
Fnord wrote:
Monkey_Zombie wrote:
I want a woman in my life to motivate me to do things and to share in my triumphs.
Join the Army. Female Drill Sergeants - US Army
Nothing better to help a man along the path to heterosexual monogamy than hanging out with a bunch of sweaty men 24/7 and getting screamed at by angry, muscular, scary women with guns

Drill instructors are not allowed to wear sidearms.



simon_says
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05 Mar 2012, 8:40 pm

You need to be around women. It doesnt matter what form that takes. If you arent around women and talking to them on a regular basis you have little hope. Change that.



ToadOfSteel
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05 Mar 2012, 8:48 pm

I think he wanted positive motivation, not being yelled at...



Fnord
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05 Mar 2012, 8:51 pm

ToadOfSteel wrote:
I think he wanted positive motivation, not being yelled at...

Oh.

In that case...

Image

:wink:



Vigilans
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05 Mar 2012, 8:58 pm

Fnord wrote:
Vigilans wrote:
Fnord wrote:
Monkey_Zombie wrote:
I want a woman in my life to motivate me to do things and to share in my triumphs.
Join the Army. Female Drill Sergeants - US Army
Nothing better to help a man along the path to heterosexual monogamy than hanging out with a bunch of sweaty men 24/7 and getting screamed at by angry, muscular, scary women with guns

Drill instructors are not allowed to wear sidearms.


They probably don't need guns to instill sheer terror anyway


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Opportunities multiply as they are seized. -Sun Tzu
Nature creates few men brave, industry and training makes many -Machiavelli
You can safely assume that you've created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do


Monkey_Zombie
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05 Mar 2012, 9:24 pm

I don't mind a woman in uniform.

I've tried the military as well. I apparently need to lose 40 lbs before I can even go to boot camp.

I don't have any money either. I'm also looking for a job.



momsparky
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05 Mar 2012, 9:44 pm

Seriously: volunteer. It can help you with the job stuff, too, and if you pick a volunteer job that involves physical activity it can help you with those 40lbs. Pick something you care about. It doesn't hurt to pick something you're good at, too - if you can find a way to align a volunteer job with a special interest, that's a keeper. Keep track of wherever you did good work, keep contact lists so you can use them as a reference when you go to get a job; put your volunteer work on your resume.

Plug your hometown in here: http://www.volunteermatch.org/ for charitable volunteer work. Here's another: http://www.serve.gov/

It's election season, all kinds of volunteer opportunities with every single issue on the ballot - if you're nonpartisan, you can help get out the vote by volunteering to help people register; I bet you'll meet lots of people your age. Try http://rockthevote.com/

Another thought, and please don't take this the wrong way: make sure your social skills are up to the challenge of dating. ( I'm assuming they may be an issue just because you are registered on this forum and that implies you are on the spectrum. ) Don't be afraid to ask for professional help in this area, frankly, many NTs could use support in social skills when it comes to the opposite sex. Are you in school? Every school should have some kind of counselor who can point you in the right direction.



hyperlexian
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06 Mar 2012, 12:26 am

momsparky wrote:
Seriously: volunteer. It can help you with the job stuff, too, and if you pick a volunteer job that involves physical activity it can help you with those 40lbs. Pick something you care about. It doesn't hurt to pick something you're good at, too - if you can find a way to align a volunteer job with a special interest, that's a keeper. Keep track of wherever you did good work, keep contact lists so you can use them as a reference when you go to get a job; put your volunteer work on your resume.

Plug your hometown in here: http://www.volunteermatch.org/ for charitable volunteer work. Here's another: http://www.serve.gov/

It's election season, all kinds of volunteer opportunities with every single issue on the ballot - if you're nonpartisan, you can help get out the vote by volunteering to help people register; I bet you'll meet lots of people your age. Try http://rockthevote.com/

Another thought, and please don't take this the wrong way: make sure your social skills are up to the challenge of dating. ( I'm assuming they may be an issue just because you are registered on this forum and that implies you are on the spectrum. ) Don't be afraid to ask for professional help in this area, frankly, many NTs could use support in social skills when it comes to the opposite sex. Are you in school? Every school should have some kind of counselor who can point you in the right direction.

^^^this


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Monkey_Zombie
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06 Mar 2012, 2:10 am

I'll try ok cupid

No volunteer work in my area, that is nothing that I'm not already doing.

My aspie rating is 147 so I don't know.