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Markendust
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30 Oct 2006, 7:06 pm

Every bit of advice given to me has not helped me get a girlfriend. I've tried everything but nothing has f*****g changed. I hate this f*****g life and there is no f*****g hope for me. :cry: I want to die immediately. I want death to take me. I know it will truly accept me while this life did not want me.



Alicorn
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30 Oct 2006, 7:54 pm

First of all let me say that I think your feelings are perfectly normal and expected for your situation. If we want to admit it or not, most of our behavior is driven by millions of years of evolution. The higest call of the Darwinian struggle is to 'be frutfull and multiply.'

When you are not acheiving the goals of mating then nature will punish you by making you feel like crap. Mother Nature doesn't care if you are happy, she only cares if you are reproductivly successful.

What you have to realize is that, for an aspie, the goal of making yourself fit for mate selection will probably be a much more difficult road than for that of a normal person. You'll have to work longer and harder because you are different.

You can get to where you want but expect the process to take years. I know you want it now, but unless you'll take any old thang then be ready to put in some serious work. Get your social skills up by reading books on salesmanship and get in front of people like in a retail job. Also, get your ass to the gym. Looks are important and anyone who says otherwise is a liar. Beauty is generaly consistant acrsoss cultures and is USUALLY an indication of health. How many people do you know hunt the cancer wards for dates?

Your most important project in your life is you. Just don't expect fast progress.



Topher
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30 Oct 2006, 8:07 pm

As an Aspie, life will always seem tough on you. It will feel like a big battle and a struggle without end. In Love, this is even more apparent, which i blame on the partner expecting normallity from their point of view, they don't think to entertain the possbility that you are different, and before you can even explain it, they are gone.

Mate, listen, this is not your fault, you are being what your best at, yourself. There is nothing wrong with that, and it is painful when people don't accept that. I would not blame you for feeling the way you do, a lot of people on there probably know the feeling. Don't expect results. but hope, keep hoping and don't give up on it. On here, it feels like a sanctuary. We all understand here. You are your own person, and no-one on here will disagree. :)

Hey, be strong, ok, :) I wish i could convey my feelings on it, but I want you to know that people are here and they will listen, you are not alone.



RTSgamerFTW
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30 Oct 2006, 8:27 pm

Markendust wrote:
Every bit of advice given to me has not helped me get a girlfriend. I've tried everything but nothing has f**k changed. I hate this f**k life and there is no f**k hope for me. :cry: I want to die immediately. I want death to take me. I know it will truly accept me while this life did not want me.


Just wondering how old are you because if you're young,you still have a lot of time left to get a girlfriend but personally i wouldn't bother anymore but that's just me...


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Mitch8817
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30 Oct 2006, 8:28 pm

Society makes it seem like having a girlfriend is the holy grail. It's such crap, trust me. Too much hype.



Markendust
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30 Oct 2006, 9:13 pm

Mitch8817 wrote:
Society makes it seem like having a girlfriend is the holy grail. It's such crap, trust me. Too much hype.


f**k you. I will not let you tell me what I should do with my f*****g life and you even stated you had a girlfriend before, you goddamn hypocrite. It is humans like you that make me hate them so much. The more humans I see like you tell me this s**t, the more I hate them.



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30 Oct 2006, 10:05 pm

Mitch8817 wrote:
Society makes it seem like having a girlfriend is the holy grail. It's such crap, trust me. Too much hype.


Maybe for some wanting someone is a logical decision, like wanting to be rich, or wanting a fast car. How could words “I don’t need anyone to be happy” circumvent million years of programming? Mother nature knows all the tricks that might lead a an aspie to be content being by himself. That is why no one can come up with an answer to be content being by yourself except say those word “I don’t need anyone to be happy”.



Dewclaw
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30 Oct 2006, 10:08 pm

I realize you're upset, but Holy smokes, dude. I certainly don't want to make things worse than they already are for you (which I am exceptionally good at), but Mitch8817 didn't tell you what to do. Our society does have some fairly strong expectations for us to be in a relationship, and that does affect us whether we realize it or not. That being said, humans are a social species and being in a romantic relationship is something we generally value highly. It is hard to continually be rebuffed. As much as I used to want a family and be in a relationship, I now prefer to be alone. Most people outside of WP would comment negatively at that, but it doesn't bother me anymore. I do care that I have a good relationship with my dog. She doesn't treat me like most people, which is very supportive for me. If I didn't have her, it would be a great deal harder being away from people.

Clearly you are quite upset, and it is not my intention to flame that anger. But since you started a new topic, I assume that you are interested in hearing from others on the board. I do care that you are upset. It's not a fun place to be.



Mitch8817
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30 Oct 2006, 11:26 pm

>>f**k you. I will not let you tell me what I should do with my f**k life and you even stated you had a girlfriend before, you goddamn hypocrite. It is humans like you that make me hate them so much. The more humans I see like you tell me this s**t, the more I hate them.<<

Whoa settle down there. I never told you to do anything, I gave some advice because you posted a topic, clearly wanting SOME input. And of course I had a girlfriend, how else would I be able to say my opinion? It was an insider view. Cool off.



Mitch8817
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30 Oct 2006, 11:28 pm

>>Maybe for some wanting someone is a logical decision, like wanting to be rich, or wanting a fast car. How could words “I don’t need anyone to be happy” circumvent million years of programming? Mother nature knows all the tricks that might lead a an aspie to be content being by himself. That is why no one can come up with an answer to be content being by yourself except say those word “I don’t need anyone to be happy”.<<

I'm not talking about not having anybody, I just meant a girlfriend/boyfriend. Programming dictates that we pass on our seed, relationships are just a formaility. People need to be needed, not 'loved'.



Aspie_Chav
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31 Oct 2006, 12:14 am

Those who had enough love in their life, often feel that they want a relationship and not need it. Be alone long enough and it just turns to a need.



Mitch8817
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01 Nov 2006, 3:39 am

A grave error on my part.



Scintillate
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01 Nov 2006, 5:16 am

Funny the more I'm alone the less I need, the more I'm with someone the more I need..

I guess thats my obsessive tendencies..

I think its maybe that you shouldn't base your life around getting a partner, try find something worthwhile in something you can do maybe?

Also, to someone like me, the thought of being rich couldn't be more irrelavent.


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Anubis
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01 Nov 2006, 12:46 pm

"Also, to someone like me, the thought of being rich couldn't be more irrelavent."

[stereotype]Unless you want to meet loads of dumb bimbos who are after cash.[/stereotype]


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01 Nov 2006, 2:17 pm

hmmn...

not particularly :P


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