Do aspies want friends or not?

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There seems to be this conception among the public, and even among certain aspies, that people on the spectrum don't care about relating to people. Is it because that's one of the hall marks- showing a lack of interest in relationships?

I kinda (REALLY) wish researchers would point out that not all aspies are apathetic to friendship.

For myself, being in any type of relationship is difficult/I end up hurting or insulting the person. It remains easier to stay out of any type of friendship or relationship because its the least stressful option. But if I had people to go hang out with I would be happy... but people tend to only call me when something breaks, or doesn't make sense. What is quite peculiar is my dad has a similar personality to mine, and you'd figure he was aspie... until you throw in that he is a outgoing sociable person. He might kick down a few doors and break a few noses, but he is able to fit in.

I think there is a difference between wanting friends, and enjoying friends. I want, but I don't enjoy....

I think that's because researchers and other people tend to base their perceptions off of observed behavior, and if they see someone sitting off by himself or within a group but not really talking much, they just assume that it's because there is no interest. As far as I can tell, it's rarely true that someone with AS doesn't have an interest in friends; many of us get extremely lonely when we don't have friends. Unfortunately, it's difficult for us to make or hold on to friends because of our social difficulties and general 'weirdness', I suppose.

Another thing might be our tendency to not call our friends or actively seek out time to spend with them. It's usually in their court as far as keeping in touch. This, for me, has nothing to do with a lack of interest, but is kind of 'out of sight, out of mind.' I love my friends and very much enjoy the time we spend together, but I can go without seeing them for a couple of weeks before I really get a strong desire to see them again.

I think that for the people who meet an aspie it can seem this way. It is common for an aspie not to give and take in a friendship, and also to have a rather blank impression. People might interoperate this to mean the person wants you to stay away from them. But on the other hand, it is said that aspies often have "stronger" friendships and make stronger bonds to those they hang around with, this can indicate that aspies can urge for a relationship and will try hard to make it work aswell. I think this comes down to the individuals personality and how the asperger affects how we think about both ourselves and others.

There is very little I desire more than having a close circle of a few friends.

True that.
It's bad enough so many ppl have the wrong idea,
but specialists, clinicians, and researchers should know better.

I enjoy having friends, but it might not seem that way to an external observer.
That's because I have very selective standards for the people I trust.
I'm tired of being humiliated, so I only accept friendship from people
who won't patronize or belittle me.

Personally I am indifferent but if it is logical I will communicate with people.

I think fragileclover stated it rather nicely. I think the degree of desire to have friends will vary from person to person. Some with AS desperately want friends but don't know how to go about obtaining them and don't try. Others desperately want friends and try to make them with little success, and others may want friends but might require a significant amount of space and time alone. However I think in general we are more adept at being alone than others.

I always thought it was the other way around; that the general public think that people with ASD do want friends, but don't know how to make them.
For me it is the opposite. I could probably make friends if I tried hard enough, but I just can't be bothered.

Every aspie is unique, some no doubt would like to make friends and socially interact with others, but just have trouble doing so. Others like myself, aren't too concerned with interacting with others and prefer to keep to themselves.

Perhaps they are looking at it from an NT centric point of view--they might want friends, but they don't actually make the compromises necessary to have them, so it one had to answer yes or no, the answer would be no.

I have 2 actual friends, and around 6 acquaintances whom I regularly see. This is quite an improvement compared to a few months ago, when I just had 1 friend (who lives about 9000 km away). I felt lonely and really wanted more social contact.

The social experiences I had over the last few months (including dating someone) were at times rather stressful, but far better than the loneliness I had before. I feel better being part of society than being on the outside, even though I'm still quite the outsider in society

Want, yes. I just can't establish or maintain friendships.

I would love to have one or two real life "friends". I haven't been out with a "friend" in over 6 months. It's too stressful. I never know what to say, how to act and get bored very easily. And what if there's a crowd and lots of noise? My last outing, I just got sh*t faced drunk. I'm a little funny after a few (many) cocktails, I think she had a good time, who knows. Yet, I haven't heard from her since. *facepalm*

Every aspie is different, some long for companionship, others, like me, don't really give a damn. It depends on the individual.

Personally, friendships are way too much energy to figure out how to properly maintain. It's a heavy investment for an unreliable variable such as another person who may backstab you at any moment. (Or maybe I have just had no luck with any past friendships). I'd rather spend my time and energies into my studies or special interests. I interact with people only when I have to, but I have no desire to get to know anyone and "hang out". Not to mention, what most people do for relaxation is what I find to be stressful-going to bars (I don't drink or smoke) clubs (loud noises, people getting to close to me, sensory meltdown hell), shopping malls (too many people), restaurants (I'm OCD about my food, depending on the restaurant I get agitated with the people/noises/etc.) Come to think of it, I don't think I could properly maintain a friendship even if I really had the desire to.

I don't want or need friends any more.

When I was younger I might have wanted some but everyone hated me and I didn't know how to make friends.

In sixth grade a teacher wrote in a report about me "SHE IS A LONER" in huge letters and underlined multiple times. It's not like I had a choice. That was the same year the school counselor told me it was my fault that people treated me the way they did because of the way I acted.