Adult Aspies: How do I judge the body language of

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My fellow high school students?

Like random strangers?

Is it weird to walk past them in the halls?

If they're not staring at me, is it still possible that I'm doing something wrong and they're just being nice?


I ask the adults because the people my age won't know.

You don't have to look at or focus on people.

They're probably not looking at you either.

The easier it is to walk past people in the halls, the easier it will be to survive high school.

Staring feels uncomfortable (from my one experience on my integration session) but you just learn to ignore it.

If no one is staring at you, then I'd take that as a sign that you're not doing anything out of the ordinary or offensive. I doubt that a whole group of teenagers would avoid staring just to be nice -- teenagers are not that nice. If everyone is staring, then it's a sign that you are not fitting in somehow. Some of the possibilities are ones worth worrying about, like having toilet paper sticking to your pants. Others, not so much (like you're wearing a fedora hat when fedora hats aren't cool).

It's okay to walk past people without looking at them, but realize that they are reading your body language and they might think you don't like them or are stuck up. If that bothers you, see if you can find a way to communicate friendliness in a way that you're comfortable with. For example, I can't handle eye contact but in high school I discovered that it doesn't matter if I make sure I've got a smile on my face. Posture also makes a difference. Walking hunched over staring at the floor makes other people edgy. Standing up straight and relaxed & looking around more at eye level puts others at ease.

It's a good idea to at least nod at anyone who is not an absolute stranger.-- subtle is fine. The problem is I have to consciously remember to do it, and if I am tired/distracted it doesn't happen. Also, occasionally I have trouble remembering or recognizing faces. I've had a couple of people who were either marginal acquaintances or people I had some sort of work/school/professional but not personal relationship with get very upset because they thought I was insulting them by not acknowledging them when I walked by and I'm sure many more who felt that way but did not say anything. When confrontations happened for better or worse I think my looking genuinely confused and saying "I'm terribly sorry I just didn't notice you" seemed to abate the anger of the other party-- I'm sure they thought I was pretty odd, but at least they weren't going to hit me.