Can a person with an ASD be "spontaneous"?

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Eloa
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19 Mar 2012, 6:08 pm

People have always told me and tell me to be "spontaneous". But I don't know how to feel that, I need things to be thought over into detail and only feel functional when I have a clear picture of something.
Can a person with an ASD be "spontaneous"?
If yes: How to do it, how does it feel?


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Keyman
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19 Mar 2012, 8:21 pm

Define spontaneous..

Being spontaneous within the subject of interest is a completely other business. But society at large tend to implicitly define spontaneous as being socially spontaneous.



Dillogic
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19 Mar 2012, 8:22 pm

Spontaneity seems to be the antithesis of routines and plans, which are the common things amongst people with an ASD.

Perhaps with comorbid ADHD, yeah.

(Obviously, I'm as spontaneous as a boulder.)



Jory
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19 Mar 2012, 8:27 pm

Impulsive, yes. Spontaneous, I don't know.



Verdandi
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19 Mar 2012, 8:45 pm

I'll need more distinction between impulsiveness and spontaneous to answer that question, at least in regards to myself.



Ai_Ling
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19 Mar 2012, 9:09 pm

I'm sure some aspies can do it to some extent but aspies mostly seem to have a pre-calculated actions. I have a lot of trouble with sponteneity unless I'm reasonably comfortable around the person. The more uncomfortable things are the less sponteneous and the more antisocial and scripted I become.

I knew of an aspie in HS who was a huge trouble maker/class clown type. His actions and words appeared outrageous and spontaneous most of the time. But you know how many aspies actions can appear spontaneous and not well thought out but really isnt. I didnt know him. I only knew he was aspie because his mom was my psych.



btbnnyr
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19 Mar 2012, 9:18 pm

I can be spontaneous as long as the spontaneous activity is something I like and does not interfere with something else that I like and was planning to do at the same time. If I have nothing to do, and someone says, "Wanna drive up to the mountains to go sledding?", my answer is "OK!! !" If it is, "Let's go to the mall, then have dinner there", my answer is "Nooooooo..."



Nim
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19 Mar 2012, 9:21 pm

I have been known to make a very large/somewhat crazy decision out of the blue at times. Such as mentioning I want to travel across the states to a place i used to live - to which my mother replies "remember to call me first". Or purchasing a vehicle, or a home...



CockneyRebel
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19 Mar 2012, 9:23 pm

I'm as spontaneous as a rock.


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as408
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19 Mar 2012, 9:27 pm

An AS'er CAN be spontaneous but knowing when it's appropriate and NOT overdoing it is very tricky. For example, I learned how to be spontaneous when I was 19. Chatting up random strangers several days per week will do it. It got to a point where I could spontaneously generate jokes out of the blue and make humorous observations. It can be like caffeine. You feel like you're not so boring anymore.

In theory I learned how to do it. In practice I constantly way overdid it. Other times I applied it to situations that weren't appropriate. And yet other times what I did fell flat or even offended people. Although I often managed to make people laugh, I don't know exactly what type of laughter they did: was it "this dude is hella funny" or "God how f*****g lame!! geezus he should shut up!!". Once all this dawned on me, it felt thoroughly humiliating.

How am I now? I've become less spontaneous. I'm more self-conscious about being spontaneous. To really be good at spontaneity, it's not enough to come up with material. You have to:
- keenly read people
- know your audience
- get the timing right
- read the context
- package the delivery for best audience reception (vocal pacing, proper tonality, proper body language, etc)
- know how to socially recover if by chance you fall flat (ie: self-deprecating humor, changing the subject, framing the social gaffe in a humorous light, etc)



Last edited by as408 on 19 Mar 2012, 9:32 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Alexender
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19 Mar 2012, 9:28 pm

Jory wrote:
Impulsive, yes. Spontaneous, I don't know.


Me exactly


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Bun
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19 Mar 2012, 9:31 pm

I'm not sure what my right diagnosis is, but I can be spontaneous as long as I'm not told to be. You don't know how many times my mum had plans for me without saying what they were and asked me to be 'spontaneous' about it - I don't even think she does it on purpose, I just think her way of speaking is laconic and she never shares details.


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riot_gun
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19 Mar 2012, 9:31 pm

Entirely depends on how much caffeine I've had.



Bun
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19 Mar 2012, 9:37 pm

Are human beings generally spontaneous?... I change routines, but only every once in a while, which seems completely normal to me. What are examples of being spontaneous?


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Ai_Ling
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19 Mar 2012, 10:42 pm

as408 wrote:
How am I now? I've become less spontaneous. I'm more self-conscious about being spontaneous. To really be good at spontaneity, it's not enough to come up with material. You have to:
- keenly read people
- know your audience
- get the timing right
- read the context
- package the delivery for best audience reception (vocal pacing, proper tonality, proper body language, etc)
- know how to socially recover if by chance you fall flat (ie: self-deprecating humor, changing the subject, framing the social gaffe in a humorous light, etc)


When you put that much effort into it, I think that takes the concept out of spontaneity. It sounds like what your doing is appearing spontaneous to NTs.



Ganondox
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19 Mar 2012, 10:45 pm

Is being random the same as being spontaneous? I can be very random.


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