Post your nerdiest joke(s)

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I figured this may be interesting so here are mine:

There are 10 types of people in the world, those who understand binary and those who don't.

Do you know why a sociologist can never be integrated? Because they don't have a function.

Good. I agree with the sociology joke, and understand the binary one. I came across binary stuff in a book many years ago, so I know about it--but I won't give away the meaning of the joke.

I still think about binary sometimes when thinking about computers. It's amazing that something so simple is still the basic methodology behind the running of our computers. When I was growing up, calculators were still desktop appliances, and computers took up whole rooms. When I was in high school calculators first got shrunk to portable size. After that they started shrinking the computers, until they reached desktop size, and then the prices came down to where some people could afford to have them at home. I had my first PC sometime in the late 80s. It was a commodore with no hard drive, and not very good, but neither was I at operating it.

Man, technology has really come a far way in my just over half a century of life. We sent men into space and the moon while I watched on TV--in black and white for the first one. We now have phones that resemble the communicators on the original Star Trek series, that I watched as a child, as first run episodes. I have my own computer at home, and I can make it talk if I want, just like the one on Star Trek. I can cook or reheat food within seconds or a few minutes in the microwave. There have been so many changes in tech stuff in my life. What a lot to keep up with!

I have *so* been avoiding this forum so people don't think I'm a complete and total nutter >.> But this thread caught my attention! No one ever laughs at my jokes! >.<

Let's see...

Why are physicists so bad at sex? Because when they find the position, they can't find the momentum, and when they have the momentum, they can't find the position.

Oh! And the classic:

Murphy's Strings!
~ If you fix a mistake in a mathematical superstring calculation another one will show up somewhere else.
~ If your results are based on the work of others, then such work will turn out to be wrong.
~ The longer your article, the more likely your hard drive will fail whilst finishing the references.
~ The better your research result, the more likely it will be rejected by the referee of a journal. If your work is wrong but not obviously, it will be accepted for publication right away - beware immediate publishing!
~ If a result seems to good to be true, it is... unless. or course, you are one of the top ten string theorists in the multiverse.
~ Your most startling string-theoretic model ill turn out to be valid in only two, or less, spatial dimensions!
~ When giving a string seminar, nobody will follow anything you say after the first minute, but, if someone does, that person will point out a flaw in your model half-way through your lecture and, your grant review officer will happen to be in the audience.
~ If you discover an interesting string model, it will predict at least one low-energy, observable particle not seen in nature.
~ Anything in string theory that theoretically can go wrong will go wrong, but if nothing does go theoretically wrong, then experimentally it is ruled out! HA!

Hmmm... maybe more later, when I'm braver.

_Bloom

The Internet: where men are men, women are men, and children are FBI agents.

If at first you don’t succeed; call it version 1.0.

Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.

I’m not anti-social; I’m just not user friendly.

Hacking is like sex. You get in, you get out, and hope that you didn’t leave something that can be traced back to you.

There are three kinds of people: those who can count and those who can’t.

Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue.

Two electrons were driving in their brand-new car. Suddenly, the driver looked around and exclaimed, "I have no idea where we are!"

His passenger replied, "I told you that speedometer was too precise!"
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
There was a young lady named Bright,
Whose speed was much faster than light.
She set out one day,
In a relative way,
And returned on the previous night.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
A pedant walks into a bar. Well, a bar/restaurant. Okay, technically, it was a brewpub, since they had an onsite microbrewery...
------------------------------------------------------------------------
The tachyon leaves.
The bartender says, "We don't serve FTL particles here!"
A tachyon goes into a bar.

Why was six afriad of seven? Cause seven eight nine. That joke always makes me laugh

Redacted

5/4 people are bad with fractions. It sounds like it makes sense if you say it out loud to someone. It always takes them a second