I did something horrible that I'm ashamed of

Post Reply New Topic

I screamed a lot last night and woke my parents up. It wasn't because I had nightmares, I had bad thoughts. They weren't scary, just bad thoughts about myself and what I had done. While I was screaming my mom was mad and said that I never think about anyone else but myself. I feel like I'm a bad person...I feel like I'm a horrible person. I'm rude, thoughtless and selfish.. Please comfort me... Tell me how to be more giving

If you did bad things admit them and do good deeds to help you become a better person also talk to someone about what you have done may help

Whatever you did that was bad, did you do it on purpose?

If not, then you have not been a bad person. That is my opinion though...my parents would likely disagree.

I didn't really do it on pupouse

If you feel that way again and the rest of the household is resting, try writing it down in a journal or thoughts book.

Well if you didn't do it on purpose or couldn't control whether or not you did this "bad" thing, then I don't think you have a way to change this behaviour. If your parents are mean to you about this, then they are likely just exhausted and acting out inappropriately.

My mother dosen't even like me for this....I'm a bad person

No you're not if your parents are NT's they may not realise the difference between you and them

Ginny, we are about the same age and my mother doesn't like me for many reasons. I think you are definitely not the only one who messes up occasionally.

There's a bit of a loop going on here.

You say you were bad for screaming, and you were screaming because you had bad thoughts, and you had bad thoughts about what you had done.

So what have you done, apart from screaming? Cos that's the reaction, not the root cause.

I think your parents are being very harsh, perhaps they were unnerved or tired? It sounds to me that you were undergoing significant trauma and anguish, and reassurance would have been better. Perhaps a hug, if you are an Aspie that is ok with hugs? Or certainly something calming and positive, rather than confrontational.

At the same time I think there are issues you need to face here, Screaming the house down is clearly not the best way of dealing with bad thoughts, so have a think about better strategies for coping and recovering (with help from others, if necessary).

If I sympathise and tell you everything is all ok, I am in fact rewarding your behaviour, when you know as well as I do that it's not ideal. I am sorry that you have been having a bad time, and I can understand how things go wrong, and I do think the reaction you had was unfortunate, but nonetheless there are things here you should try to change.

That's not to say you are bad person, just an unfortunate one. But the lesson here is that, to a certain extent at least, you can make your own fortune. What have you learned? What could be done differently next time? Can you explain it to them, perhaps in a note or an e-mail?

Good luck with sorting things out

OP, I have done a LOT of horrible things that I'm VERY ashamed of, in the past, but they are over and done with. Would some people I know dislike me and not hang around me if they knew about some of them? Sure they would. Do I care? No, I don't. I'm not telling them, it's none of their business, and the only way those stories are coming out of my mouth is if we are having a long talk and both of us sharing lots of secrets. Even then, some of the worst ones won't pass my lips.

Everybody makes mistakes. If you didn't make mistakes you wouldn't be human. Some pretty bad things actually seem like good ideas at the time, or your only choice, or just something you want to do really, really bad. Either way you can't change the past. If you realize that the things that you did were wrong and are ashamed of them and don't want to do them again, then you learned from it. Dwelling on mistakes, and making yourself feel guiltier does you nor anyone else any good. Whatever it was that you did, let it go. Trust me, whatever it was, it wouldn't shock me, I've been around some pretty seedy people in my time, and you don't seem like one of them. They usually don't have that kind of guilt either. Their way of thinking about it is "if there's no warrant out for me, it didn't happen".

My point here is, many people have done bad things. Many people have done things worse than whatever it was you did. That doesn't make them horrible. It makes them human. They made a bad decision, or they acted impulsively, or they had too much to drink, whatever the reason, they didn't think it out, say "yes this is bad and I'm going to do it just because it's bad and no other reason and I'll get no other gain from it" and do it anyway.

Please, try and let it go, whatever you did. When you start thinking about it, purposefully think about something completely different. Keep thinking of other things. It will get easier, and eventually you'll look back and think "Did I do that? Yeah I did. Oh well, life goes on"

It's hard, but you'll get there.

_________________
I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA.

The link to the forum is http://www.rightplanet.proboards.com

To be a good person, one must first realize that religion is all an act and understand why they do it.

Then, focus on what is right by finding a position on ethical standpoints that does not fit any mold. Do not follow, lead with logic.

Realize that you are already trapped by the mere existence of religion if you fail to communicate and that communication is the key to all finding a homogenous relationship with people that can be equitable for all. Simply because you have failed in the past does not mean you are any less than anyone else or that your ideas are flawed. But keep in mind that they are growing. Of course there will be issues no one wants to think about logically, so you might have to understand emotional logic to get past this part. Emotional logic is often how someone feels about change and security. People are afraid of what they do not know or an idea that relates to something that has already failed regardless of the circumstances.

Hope that helps.

GinnyPenny, the fact that you're posting this - the fact that this bothers you - means you ARE thinking about other people. You ARE being thoughtful and empathetic.

You're not a bad person. I think your mother was just angry. If you ask her later, I'm sure she'll tell you she didn't mean that.