I'm so lonely

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f**k it all

I get like that too.

Maybe one day humanity will transcend its physical body and embrace the pairing of the psyche in a sort of Matrix like realm.
Humans are cruel, I doubt others and hate my self because of it.

You and me both

I know the feeling.

You're not alone.

It's just not easy is it? And I've nothing left to believe in anymore! In what do you find comfort?

You're not the only one that feels that way because I feel the same way too when I'm lonely.

I'm lucky in that I've got quite a small but close knit family.

I stay with my mum (despite being 35), and frequently see my sister and her kids (and my brother every few months).

I realise though that this isn't the same thing as getting on with people at work (which I generally don't just now) or having any real friends outside of work

I have to say that this site has been an amazing help. At lunch time when feeling down I pop into my local supermarkets cafe, log on here (on my mobile) and read about others like me. I also tend to do this for fun too - searching for upbeat threads when my mood is better. Its good knowing that there are lots of others out there like me, albeit spread out quite a bit.

This has helped me begin to look at interacting a bit more. Not quite sure how it happened, but every few weeks I now seem to be meeting up with an uncle in a pub (owned by my other uncle hence feel fine in there) to watch football and talk about movies. I have no interest in football and sometimes have found it a drain - but I've enjoyed many of them (I just need to remember to go along once in a while even if I'm not in the mood - a little "give and take" I think its called).

Two other things too - which even a few weeks ago I'd never had imagined possible (ever) for me: one is that I've signed up to an online dating site (have never been on a date) - even uploaded a photo (nothing from it yet, but that's a major step for me in itself). Another is that I've contacted a Aspie group/facility out in Edinburgh (haven't found anything similiar in Glasgow yet) and been invited along. There's a meet up in the town next to my own this weekend hence might muster the confidence to pop along to it (though I realise this takes it from the 'virtual' into 'actually happening in real life' which will be daunting!).

I've found that things don't always work out as you expect them to, but that this isn't necessary bad. E.g. on the dating site I ended up "chatting" (instant messaging) to a Canadian woman who shared an interest with me in Geography. She had sent a "hi" - and I just responded with a "hi" back. (This was just a one off chat, but surprisingly interesting/enjoyable nonetheless). Equally another thing had me spending time as a favour to someone - only for me being the one that ended up benefiting from it.

I started by *really* lowering my expectations i.e. saying to myself: "I've f&*^%ked up again - but I'm an aspie hence it's permitted!" and building on things slowly. I.e. I'm not too harsh on myself when I make mistakes.

Don't get me wrong - tonight I've spent most of the evening (after work) alone as per usual (an aunt popped in to drop something off), but I think I'm slowly getting somewhere. I'm also finding now (after a year) that the people at work I thought I'd like, are really quite materialistic - and others who aren't like this seem to be more fun and better people. Perhaps that's came from reading up on people's dating profiles or something, I'm not sure!

A couple of weeks ago I felt really, really alone to the point of crying at lot (which I don't normally do) - I was pretty down(beat). I have no doubt I've be back at that stage fairly soon, but I think I'm overally (albeit very slowly) making moves towards something else, even if I'm not quite sure what its going to lead to.

Last edited by Paul123 on 12 Apr 2012, 5:20 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I'm lonely too. Here, have a biscuit:

Just so I don't come across as a complete a***hole, I'll respond to a post here:

Bloody hell - haven't you thought of moving out yet?! I think I'd be pretty hacked off with everything and feel very lonely if I was still living with my parents at that age. I really want to move out in the next couple of years (I'm 24 in June)...



What are your interests? Glasgow is a big place. Another WPer lives there who you might get on with. Have you met her? I won't release details as I don't know her situation and I don't want to get myself told off (again)...



Well, I'm glad you feel that way and I'm glad you feel a part of it. Everyone is welcome here. Even me.

(does a massive, smelly, lingering fart)

Well, perhaps not when I do that.



I hope you buy something. A coffee perhaps, or lunch? I know that supermarket café food isn't particularly inspiring but fair's fair and all that...



I take it you have web access at home though?



There's quite a few of us in the United Kingdom as well you know. I've met about five of them, all based in North West England.



Make mine a Tennent's.



You might already be doing this, but have you thought about sharing your fundamental character with people here? I can't see your post count at the moment, so...



What interests you about geography?



Didn't the other person benefit from your time too? It's never so simple as it might look.



OK.



Good for you.

Can I have the chocolate chip one?

One other thing which causes me issues is that I'm 99.9% sure that I'm an aspie, and recall (during primary school) "doctors" of some sort mentioning aspergers - but I don't have a diagnosis hence there's an element of doubt.

Being an aspie would explain all my weird traits and how I don't do well in society etc. Everything about fits (except sarcasm which I do really well, but I do tend to instantly review everything someone says from all possible meanings). Nonethess - if a doctor turned around and said "no you don't have it" it would throw me into dissary and uncertainty. And I wouldn't be surprised if this happened, given that I can adapt to appear normal (albeit quiet/silent etc in most situations).

Also - not sure if this is just me or not - but I've noticed that I get especially down / depressed when I'm feeling poorly (e.g. got the cold). I wasn't really aware of the difference this (along with lack of sleep) makes until recently.

lots of points, hence quickly...

Collectively my mum and I couldn't afford to stay in two places (parents seperated some years back).

No, but perhaps I'll meet her at the weekend!

Yes - today I spent a whooping £7 in there! Some of them even know what kind of sauce I take without asking (tomato).

Mine's a Lager Shandy (I usually have the car). Now and again I'll have the odd dram.

Small number of posts: still busy trying to catch up on everything I've missed

Georgraphy: everything interests me - but in this case the effect of new energy facilities on the environment

Yes - the other person did too. I just didn't expect it to work two ways.

Me? I believe in doing what makes you happy, because that's the best way to pass time in this life. I enjoy fine hats, fine cats, fine rum, and video games. Is my life perfect? No, I still live with my parents (i'm 24), and I wish I were making a bit more money. Also want to see if I can get off some of my anxiety meds (I take a lot).

Don't attempt to make your dreams a reality, chances are it won't happen, and even if it does it might not turn out how you thought it would. Instead, follow your dreams and instead of trying to catch them, instead try to focus on enjoying the journey.

I know how you feel completely. *hugs*

Believe that things will get better; force yourself to look at the positive elements of life even if you don't feel their impact right now. I find comfort in my pets, in watching shows and movies that I like and in finding a good deal at the Salvation Army.

Hugs