College + panic attacks. How do you deal with it?

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Hi everyone,

I was in a thread about panic attacks at work a few hours ago (http://www.wrongplanet.net/postp4548213 ... t=#4548213) and this got me thinking about my own attacks and college life.

Super short summary: I am an undergraduate in a pressuring academic environment. While I plan my time and productivity like nobody I know, I always slip into panic attack mode when there are deadlines. The attacks occurs several times during a week before a deadline and become gradually worse over time. At their height I am so dizzy I am unable to walk and see straight, in constant fear of having to vomit. I've always had attacks, but they have gotten progressively worse once I started college.


So I want to talk about it, and specifically about college and panic attacks (and I don't mean that to exclude anybody, I just hope to read things that I can truly relate to). I'd love it if you could answer the questions below and perhaps add a little comment if you feel ike it:

1. How often do you have panic attacks?
2. How are they related to your academic life (if you think they are)?
3. What happens when you have one?
4. Where do you have them?
5. Do you see patterns in them and can you tell what triggers them?
6. Have you told students, professors or academic counselors about them?
7. Does planning your time and productivity help reduce them?
8. Can you prepare for them? If so, how?
9. How do they make you feel (inadequate etc.)?
10. Do they make you think you cannot reach the height of a great career (Ph.D. etc.)?


I'm much more interested in your answers than my own, but here they are:


1. How often do you have panic attacks?
-- About a week out of the month (as a curve), at the worst what feels like an all-day panic attack.
2. How are they related to your academic life (if you think they are)?
-- They are usually triggered by some type of academic stress: written as well as exams, paper deadlines.
3. What happens when you have one?
-- My balance system gets out of control and I can't walk or talk normally anymore. Afterwards I get incredibly tired.
4. Where do you have them?
-- At home (right before I leave for something), in crowded places like the train station and during or right before class and exams.
5. Do you see patterns in them and can you tell what triggers them?
-- After I've had my first one, they are triggered by strong exposure to light, sound, touch and chaos.
6. Have you told students, professors or academic counselors about them?
-- I have told a few fellow students and most of my professors when I start feeling bad.
7. How have they reacted?
-- The students hesitantly (some seem to not know what happens during an attack) and the professors positively and understanding. Some have talked me through a few attacks.
8. Does planning your time and productivity help reduce them?
-- It helps extensively; I use the GTD method to have as good a frame of reference about my activities as I can, and when I'm in a week of attacks I stick to my planning completely.
9. Can you prepare for them?
-- Partly.
10. If so, how do you prepare for them?
-- By planning I can reduce the overwhelming feeling of not knowing what I still have to do. I also frequently use a smartphone noise app with headphones and take Valerian during the entire week.
11. How do they make you feel (inadequate etc.)?
-- I accept that they are a part of my life, but at times they make me feel very inadequate and lucky to even be in university.
12. Do they make you think you cannot reach the height of a great career (Ph.D. etc.)?
-- If anything. I'm afraid I will step in working force too high and then fall really low once I - 'eventually' - go into a full burnout.


Thank you very much in advance. Your input is valuable to me!

1. How often do you have panic attacks?
I believe I had my first panic attack at age 3. I know for sure that I was having panic attacks by age 5. I've had OCD since age 3, as well, so I've known nothing but anxiety my whole life. I didn't even know what a panic attack was (or that I had them) until I was around 16. Without medication, I get panic attacks pretty much every day, often several times a day. I almost always wake up with a panic attack at the very least without medication. However, ever since I started Anafranil for my OCD in 2008, which has been an absolute miracle medication for me, my panic attacks are VERY infrequent. The last few years, I've even been able to go to the dentist, one of my biggest traumas, without Klonopin. I started Klonopin when I was around 18, but it only was for emergencies and breakdowns. It never PREVENTED my panic attacks the way Anafranil does.

2. How are they related to your academic life (if you think they are)?
Well, I graduated college in 2009, so I'm in between school now. Working to gain research experience for grad school. But my panic attacks always have been strongly intertwined with academics. During school is when I commonly would have 2-3+ panic attacks each day. Having to write a paper and having to take exams were what made me have the worst panic attacks.

3. What happens when you have one?
My most troubling symptom is excrutiating abdominal distress/cramping. My heart beats faster, I breathe faster, and I just have a sick feeling in general. I get the "choking" feeling when I swallow. For particularly bad ones, I get severe chills and hot flushes. My face gets flushed and my hands get freezing cold. For REALLY bad ones, my hands will tingle and/or shake.

4. Where do you have them?
Anytime, anywhere, if I'm nervous about something.

5. Do you see patterns in them and can you tell what triggers them?
I do not have panic DISORDER. I can PREDICT when I'll have a panic attack. In certain situations that always warrant a panic attack, I often feel more uneasy when I DON'T have one. It's just a part of my life, and even with Anafranil, I still will get panic attacks for really bad OCD-inducing situations. It's just that the Anafranil makes my panic attacks much less severe. So, for example, I can go to the dentist on Anafranil alone and have a typical daily panic attack rather than an incapacitating one. I'm having a mild panic attack right now, due to something I'm anxious about doing soon at work. If I'm anxious about something, I will have a panic attack. Again, the Anafranil just makes them less frequent and less severe. CBT never worked for my panic attacks, because I will have a panic attack as long as the trigger is there. Panic attacks are supposed to "peak" in 10 minutes, and even OCD anxiety is supposed to lessen after "sitting with" the anxiety and not doing a compulsion. Not true with me. I frequently get panic attacks that last 3-5 hours before having to do something I fear, and once, I had to wait a whole weekend until I could compulsively confess something to someone, and I had a panic attack on and off throughout those three days until I did confess.

6. Have you told students, professors or academic counselors about them?
Very few know about my panic attacks and other disorders. I'm very skilled at hiding my symptoms. I have panic attacks so often that I've had to learn to get through life without showing how crippling my anxiety is. For most situations, I can appear totally fine on the outside, but I'm falling apart inside.

7. Does planning your time and productivity help reduce them?
Nope. I'm a procrastinator BECAUSE of my panic attacks. Like, if I have to write something, I will ALWAYS have a panic attack, no question. I put off unpleasant, panic-inducing tasks like this as long as I can, because I just can't even fathom facing the task. But when it gets down to the wire, my panic attacks then will become actually beneficial, because they fuel me into doing the task before it's too late. It's a vicious cycle, but feelings of panic motivate me and push me to get things done every day. (Again, the Anafranil just makes it much less severe.) It just gets to a point where the fear of being late or not finishing a task or getting in trouble makes the panic attack worse than the fear of HAVING to do something. So, then, the panic makes my body hyperalert and able to get tasks done quickly.

8. Can you prepare for them? If so, how?
There's no preparing. Again, they're a part of my life. I know when they'll happen, and I just deal with it. With those with unexpected panic attacks (from panic disorder- my best friend has these type), it's a totally different ballgame. Panic disorder folks suddenly start having panic attacks out of nowhere, which is very unsettling. I've lived with them for so long that I wouldn't know how to react if I DIDN'T have a panic attack every now and then.

9. How do they make you feel (inadequate etc.)?
Anxious. I don't have any cognitive symptoms associated with them, either, because (again) I don't have panic disorder. I don't think I'm dying or "going crazy." The only cognitive symptoms I have are worrying and obsessing about my fears.

10. Do they make you think you cannot reach the height of a great career (Ph.D. etc.)?
Well, before the Anafranil, my panic attacks had a much higher risk of inhibiting me from being successful in my career. The only reason I'm able to hold down my current (first) job is because of Anafranil. I have had a lot of stresses from the new experience of working that I wouldn't have been able to handle all at once without the medication. I've always been very adamant on not letting my disabilities hold me back from my dreams, and now, I have a management medication that will make this more probable.

Thank you very much for your answers OddDuckNash99!

I had been wondering if any type of prescription medication could help me. I'm very hesitant towards them but I might see my doctor about the issue soon.

The good thing about benzodiazepines (like Klonopin) are that you don't HAVE to take them every day if you don't want to. I didn't, because they make me like a zombie. So, I only use benzos in emergency cases, "as needed." It's definitely a good tool to have in emergency situations. Like, I had a breakdown in the morning one time at college from hearing bad news, and I had to give an important presentation for class in the afternoon. The only reason I was able to calm down enough to professionally present my project was because I took a Klonopin to calm down.

1. How often do you have panic attacks?
It varies. When I was in university I started having panic attacks every day three times a day because the environment and everything was new and it was such a shock to me. They decreased with time as I got used to the place and the routines.
My first panic attack was aged 14.

2. How are they related to your academic life (if you think they are)?
Exams and stressful times when I'm overwhelmed can cause me to have panic attacks. Just going to university caused many. I had never lived away from home before, and I went to a university at the other end of the country.

3. What happens when you have one?
I go very shaky, I feel faint, my heart goes very fast, I sweat, I feel sick, my muscles tense and are very painful, my breathing goes fast and shallow, I get a very bad headache, and I can't stand/sit still. I also go hot and cold and my stomach gets painful and upset.

4. Where do you have them?
everywhere. Crowded places, public transport, new environments, exams

5. Do you see patterns in them and can you tell what triggers them?
At university I often had them in the canteen, because it was soo crowded and noisy, and reminded me of school canteen.

6. Have you told students, professors or academic counselors about them?
I told my academic tutors and some of the people in the halls of residence knew about them.

7. Does planning your time and productivity help reduce them?
Not really. In fact, I had so many that I missed lots of university lectures

8. Can you prepare for them? If so, how?
I used to get to the canteen as early or late as I could, so as to avoid the crowds.

9. How do they make you feel (inadequate etc.)?
Useless, stupid, weak, and very very scared.

10. Do they make you think you cannot reach the height of a great career (Ph.D. etc.)?
Yes, they did. I didn't get high enough grades in my degree for me to be able to apply for Masters program. Now I'm just trying to get a job, any job.

OddDuckNash99 - my panic attacks also last 3-5hours

1. How often do you have panic attacks? Almost every day that I attend classes.
2. How are they related to your academic life (if you think they are)? Negative associations with the social environment, triggers present.
3. What happens when you have one? Palpitations, breathing problems, reduced sight, extreme fear, dizziness, nausea, shaking, tears.
4. Where do you have them? Before class just as I arrive, or in class. Also, public places generally.
5. Do you see patterns in them and can you tell what triggers them? I can guess at the triggers days afterwards, but there are too many potentials.
6. Have you told students, professors or academic counselors about them? Yes.
7. Does planning your time and productivity help reduce them? No.
8. Can you prepare for them? If so, how? No.
9. How do they make you feel (inadequate etc.)? Like a failure, absolutely disabled, hopeless.
10. Do they make you think you cannot reach the height of a great career (Ph.D. etc.)? Yes.

I am now preparing to study online instead of by attendance.
Have tried some medications but the numbing of all feeling is detrimental to making art, which is my primary vocation.

1. How often do you have panic attacks? Every four years they happen for months on a couple times a week.
2. How are they related to your academic life (if you think they are)? Grad school, yeah and stress and sometimes no reason.
3. What happens when you have one? can't breath, inhaler, get outside fast, paper bag
4. Where do you have them? no location specifically
5. Do you see patterns in them and can you tell what triggers them? stress and worry
6. Have you told students, professors or academic counselors about them? peers only. It hasn't stopped me from tests. I have struggled with papers at home.
7. Does planning your time and productivity help reduce them? hard to say
8. Can you prepare for them? If so, how? at first feeling get out and get air, water and relax.
9. How do they make you feel (inadequate etc.)? pathetic
10. Do they make you think you cannot reach the height of a great career (Ph.D. etc.)? no

I'm an NT btw.

1. How often do you have panic attacks?

A few times a month.

2. How are they related to your academic life (if you think they are)?

Generally if I have one at school it's due to something social or emotional.

3. What happens when you have one?

I take a 1mg of Clonazepam. And take a quick 10-15min break in my car or outside.

4. Where do you have them?

Home, school, and shopping.

5. Do you see patterns in them and can you tell what triggers them?

No. I don't feel as though I have much insight into what triggers them. Sometimes I'm just seemingly stronger than other times. I feel like there is a threshold before a panic attack but my awareness to where I am in relationship to that threshold feels very limited.

6. Have you told students, professors or academic counselors about them?

Yes.

7. Does planning your time and productivity help reduce them?

Yes, the more structured and predictable I can keep my day the less stress I incur.

8. Can you prepare for them? If so, how?

I always carry my meds with me. (clonazepam)

9. How do they make you feel (inadequate etc.)?

Indescribably uncomfortable, out of place, inadequate, ect.... all of the above

10. Do they make you think you cannot reach the height of a great career (Ph.D. etc.)?

No. I have enough insight to know that even though I may feel hopeless and worthless at the time. It's in a sense delusional to believe the feeling will have lasting impact. In other words, I have experienced enough attacks to know they don't often leave lasting impact on myself.

1. How often do you have panic attacks?
Depending on the day and when assignments are due, quite often. They are worse when I'm having anxiety from being social. I have been having anxiety really bad lately when writing essays especially. Instead of working on them a couple days before they're due, I now work on them a week or two ahead of time. I still feel anxious about turning them in, because I always think I made mistakes, but I turn them in anyway to get it over with.

2. How are they related to your academic life (if you think they are)?
They are mainly related to assignments and socializing. I don't have as much anxiety when it comes to exams, thankfully.

3. What happens when you have one?
My head has an odd sensation, I feel my chest "caving" in, I can't breathe, I can't think logically or rationally about anything, and I lose my ability to do anything other than panic.

4. Where do you have them?
At home, at college, out shopping- when socializing in pretty much any environment.

5. Do you see patterns in them and can you tell what triggers them?
I never pay attention to what triggers them, so I can't really tell a pattern. All that I can really recall is that I didn't feel like myself; I felt alone and like I was almost dying inside.

6. Have you told students, professors or academic counselors about them?
No, no way. I would never tell anyone something like that outside my family, close friends, or relationship.

7. Does planning your time and productivity help reduce them?
YES. Definitely. If I do things weeks ahead of time, I can significantly reduce the amount of anxiety I feel, which causes these attacks to lessen.

8. Can you prepare for them? If so, how?
I never prepare for them; they just come and go as they please. I sometimes take a hot shower during one, play video games, or watch Korean dramas on my PC.

9. How do they make you feel (inadequate etc.)?
Inadequate is definitely one way they make me feel. Hopeless, powerless, worthless, and like I can't "fit in" because I believe that other people deal better with their problems than I do- I feel even less normal, you could say, on top of how Asperger's effects me.

10. Do they make you think you cannot reach the height of a great career (Ph.D. etc.)?
Not really. I've made it through high school and all of the other grades, so what's another three years? I've dealt with worse in high school than now.

Last night I was on campus studying late because it' the week before finals. A young girl had a panic attack in the computer lab. It was sad to see people around me chasitizing her after the paramedics took her. I tried to remind them to be thankful they don't have that affliction, I realized they couldn't even understand it as an afflicition. I dumbed it down for them and told them to thank god they can deal with stress better and then they quieted up.

I thought of this thread today.

1. How often do you have panic attacks?
Probably a couple of times a week. These started when I was about ten.

2. How are they related to your academic life (if you think they are)?
Strangely, these seldom are directly related to academics, and if they are it's usually AFTER whatever the evaluative event is has taken place. (Having someone talk about grades around me or let me know that grades are in are two sure ways to set one off...mostly I don't look at my grades unless I have to and I try to avoid any discussion about an exam after I've completed it).

3. What happens when you have one?
My heart starts racing, I break out in sweats, I get shaky enough that I can barely walk, I start suffering from digestive problems and it tends to spiral out of control in that I panic about the panic attack not ending, which just prolongs it and makes it so that I can't sleep.

4. Where do you have them?
Realistically, anywhere there are crowds and/or loud noises and/or strangers touching me. Specifically, the walk from my apartment to the bus stop (aggressive beggars and whatnot...I dread that every day) and crowded public transportation.

5. Do you see patterns in them and can you tell what triggers them?
See #4. Crowded public transportation does a number on me.

6. Have you told students, professors or academic counselors about them?
Most of my friends know this happens and most of them understand. The dean of students and at least two professors are aware of them.

7. Does planning your time and productivity help reduce them?
Not really. The problem is that it's incredibly difficult to plan around the stimuli that set me off. One never knows when a bus is going to be too crowded, when there are going to be sudden loud noises, or when someone is going to touch one without permission. The best I can do is stave them off as long as I can each day by remaining in controlled environments with people I know.

8. Can you prepare for them? If so, how?
Sometimes I walk home instead of waiting for the bus if I think it's a day when things could get really bad (from my point of view, not from any objective point of view about crowding or anything like that). Some nights I will sleep in my office as opposed to going home if I start panicking at the prospect of going home under what could be unsafe conditions. I have a prescription for propanolol but I seldom take it because using it for this purpose requires you to predict that you might have a panic attack 1-2 hours in advance and it's just not that predictable for me.

9. How do they make you feel (inadequate etc.)?
Frightened and weak.

10. Do they make you think you cannot reach the height of a great career (Ph.D. etc.)?
For what I want to do, not necessarily. Most of my colleagues understand my need to control my environment and how that affects the way I work and they don't really care as long as I get things done. I am the guy who pulls extra work for certain members of the faculty, but I have to do it my own way. I take solace in getting completely lost in a legal problem (the dean has told me at least three times that the university is lucky to have people like me around because we pursue the academic interests other people won't), so as long as I can at least be in a work environment that tolerates the "going off somewhere and figuring out the answer" approach to things, I'll be fine, so long as I have a place to withdraw to.

Make any sense? Helpful?