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namaste
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13 Apr 2012, 1:54 pm

I often feel that I am dragging on with life. I have lost the inclination to live life.
sometimes i feel that i am in a parallel world like some computer generated stimulation everything seems unreal.

No matter however hard i try to perfect the things around me they remain messed up
I cant be good enough in my job because of low confidence, low self esteem
I cant socialise or make friendship cause i am too shy, withdrawn, people find me weird
I am cut off from most of my family members.......many of them are not interested in me.
I love travelling but unable to travel due to my hubbys leave problems and also cash strapped
everything looks meaningless now as if i have reached the bleak point there is nothing much to look forward to.

Its a very weird feeling and hard to explain


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Saturn
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13 Apr 2012, 2:05 pm

namaste wrote:
I often feel that I am dragging on with life. I have lost the inclination to live life.
sometimes i feel that i am in a parallel world like some computer generated stimulation everything seems unreal.

No matter however hard i try to perfect the things around me they remain messed up
I cant be good enough in my job because of low confidence, low self esteem
I cant socialise or make friendship cause i am too shy, withdrawn, people find me weird
I am cut off from most of my family members.......many of them are not interested in me.
I love travelling but unable to travel due to my hubbys leave problems and also cash strapped
everything looks meaningless now as if i have reached the bleak point there is nothing much to look forward to.

Its a very weird feeling and hard to explain


Just a few thoughts on your post:

1. Maybe money has quite a lot to do with it. I am taking making money a bit more seriously now so that there are more things that I can just go and do, rather than feeling that so many things are out of reach and I have to somehow content myself with scraping by ('dragging along'?).

2. 'Good enough' for what or who in your job? Perhaps there is an ideal here of what you feel you ought to be. If so, this could be tormenting you if you never actualise the ideal. Or perhaps you just want to do better to make more money, which is understandable. If it is an ideal, where does it come from? Is it helping you having it?

3. Where is the meaningfulness out there in the world? Perhaps you are reassessing things, breaking down old perspectives, and looking for new ones. What meaning do you want to give your life?

Might help stimulate a few progressive thoughts for you, I don't know, but best wishes with it.



namaste
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13 Apr 2012, 2:13 pm

@saturn money cannot buy happiness
i mean how much more icecreams i can eat, how much more shopping for new clothes can i do
i cant just go around alone everywhere............thats not enjoyment
when there is love, acceptance, care from elders and peer group then life becomes worth living
when everyone around you ignores you, avoids you...........you start feeling that you are not needed on this planet
you should just become invisible and it wont matter to anyone whether you exsist or not


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Jtuk
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13 Apr 2012, 2:20 pm

What you are describing sounds like a mild depression. I get these from time to time, just talking to someone about it helps me, and sometimes a sunny day is enough to snap me out of it..

Is there anyone at all you can talk to about this?

Jason



Saturn
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13 Apr 2012, 2:55 pm

namaste wrote:
@saturn money cannot buy happiness
i mean how much more icecreams i can eat, how much more shopping for new clothes can i do
i cant just go around alone everywhere............thats not enjoyment
when there is love, acceptance, care from elders and peer group then life becomes worth living
when everyone around you ignores you, avoids you...........you start feeling that you are not needed on this planet
you should just become invisible and it wont matter to anyone whether you exsist or not


I'm not suggesting that money can buy happiness, only that money can make some things better. I think happiness is something of an unattainable ideal, anyway. For me, I'm thinking about how I can make things better.

You have some things there that you say you value in life: love, acceptance, care from eleders and peers. You say that you need these things from others for life to be worth living. That seems like it might put you in a position where you are reliant on how others are tpwards you, which ultimately you can't control. If these things are important to you, you could be the one that goes out and gives them, the one that has these things in your life because you are the source of them. I would think that there are many people who would appreciate you for giving these things. I don't know that you can control if you matter to anyone but if that sort of mattering is what you want in your life then the only way to have a reliable supply of it is to be the one that generates it.

Obviously, I don't know you're circumstances at all so please take all this in that context.



NTAndrew
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13 Apr 2012, 4:07 pm

You ARE needed and you DO matter.

I joined a hobby over a decade ago just to satisfy an interest. The people I met through that hobby are now like a second family to me. This is important as I do not have a significant other, my parents are dead, and I have contact with only one of my siblings.



hikkan
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13 Apr 2012, 5:09 pm

at least you have a spouse.



questor
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13 Apr 2012, 6:24 pm

1. You sound depressed, you should get some help for this.

2. You seem to have an unrealistic expectation of being able to achieve perfection, and then get upset when it doesn't happen. Got news for you! No one, and nothing in life is perfect. Stop expecting the impossible and learn to accept what IS. Just do your normal best, and get on with stuff.

3. The world is not going to flock to anyone's door to fall all over them with offers of friendship and emotional support. For emotional support see a shrink. For friendship get out there and go BE A FRIEND.--

- Volunteer. There are people out there worse off than us who would appreciate your help. You will also meet other volunteers.

- Join a club or take up a hobby. You will get to know people who share your interests.

- Get involved in community activities--attend meetings, go to library sponsored functions, local theater performances-both as audience and as a member of the cast/crew, attend local fairs, local sporting events, etc.

- Exercise. This generates mood boosting endorphins.

- Read funny stories and watch funny shows. This also generates endorphins.

- Eat healthy and enough of it. Too many people starve themselves on inadequate diets, which leave them deprived of nutrients and unsatisfied. This leads to the failure of the diets, unless someone is so crazed to be thin, that they will actually starve themselves into skin and bones. This is very unhealthy and can lead to illness or even death, but so many people are doing that these days. Skin and bones looks like you just got out of a NAZI death camp! It does not look healthy or glamorous! Also hungry, underfed people tend to be low on energy, more cranky, and depressed.

- Get plenty of rest. Being tired also leads to low energy, being cranky, and being depressed.

Take courses in person or online. Some of the online ones are free. The ones taken in person will allow you to meet people.

- If you are unhappy with your job, try a different one, or even become self employed at something you like to do.

I'm sure you can think of even more ways to meet people, and to occupy yourself, so you won't feel so depressed, but do seek professional help if you still have a problem with depression.


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Max000
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13 Apr 2012, 6:41 pm

Jtuk wrote:
What you are describing sounds like a mild depression.


Actually it sounds like major depression. I agree that the OP should probably be seeking some help.



Last edited by Max000 on 14 Apr 2012, 12:00 am, edited 1 time in total.

scubasteve
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13 Apr 2012, 7:47 pm

Max000 wrote:
Jtuk wrote:
What you are describing sounds like a mild depression.


Actually it sounds like major depression. I agree that the OP should probably be seeking some help.


+1.

A reason for living can be found hidden in the darkest places... Find a guide. Let them point you in the right direction.



namaste
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14 Apr 2012, 1:00 pm

hikkan wrote:
at least you have a spouse.

ya....i know there are many aspie's out there unable to get married


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namaste
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14 Apr 2012, 1:01 pm

questor wrote:
1. You sound depressed, you should get some help for this.

2. You seem to have an unrealistic expectation of being able to achieve perfection, and then get upset when it doesn't happen. Got news for you! No one, and nothing in life is perfect. Stop expecting the impossible and learn to accept what IS. Just do your normal best, and get on with stuff.

3. The world is not going to flock to anyone's door to fall all over them with offers of friendship and emotional support. For emotional support see a shrink. For friendship get out there and go BE A FRIEND.--

- Volunteer. There are people out there worse off than us who would appreciate your help. You will also meet other volunteers.

- Join a club or take up a hobby. You will get to know people who share your interests.

- Get involved in community activities--attend meetings, go to library sponsored functions, local theater performances-both as audience and as a member of the cast/crew, attend local fairs, local sporting events, etc.

- Exercise. This generates mood boosting endorphins.

- Read funny stories and watch funny shows. This also generates endorphins.

- Eat healthy and enough of it. Too many people starve themselves on inadequate diets, which leave them deprived of nutrients and unsatisfied. This leads to the failure of the diets, unless someone is so crazed to be thin, that they will actually starve themselves into skin and bones. This is very unhealthy and can lead to illness or even death, but so many people are doing that these days. Skin and bones looks like you just got out of a NAZI death camp! It does not look healthy or glamorous! Also hungry, underfed people tend to be low on energy, more cranky, and depressed.

- Get plenty of rest. Being tired also leads to low energy, being cranky, and being depressed.

Take courses in person or online. Some of the online ones are free. The ones taken in person will allow you to meet people.

- If you are unhappy with your job, try a different one, or even become self employed at something you like to do.

I'm sure you can think of even more ways to meet people, and to occupy yourself, so you won't feel so depressed, but do seek professional help if you still have a problem with depression.


I have been doing most of these things
but from time to time...........i feel like its going nowhere
and there has been earthquake tremors being felt here from couple of days
as if pointing out towards 2012 disaster


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namaste
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14 Apr 2012, 1:02 pm

scubasteve wrote:
Max000 wrote:
Jtuk wrote:
What you are describing sounds like a mild depression.


Actually it sounds like major depression. I agree that the OP should probably be seeking some help.


+1.

A reason for living can be found hidden in the darkest places... Find a guide. Let them point you in the right direction.


Reason could be found...........but what about desire or will to live


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scubasteve
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14 Apr 2012, 3:57 pm

namaste wrote:
scubasteve wrote:
Max000 wrote:
Jtuk wrote:
What you are describing sounds like a mild depression.


Actually it sounds like major depression. I agree that the OP should probably be seeking some help.


+1.

A reason for living can be found hidden in the darkest places... Find a guide. Let them point you in the right direction.


Reason could be found...........but what about desire or will to live


For me, the reason brought about the desire. (Not instantly though... It may also take time.)

If the reason does not bring desire, I'd suspect it may be more an issue of mental chemistry than one of situation or purpose. In that case, I would suggest speaking with a qualified psychiatrist as soon as you are able.



VisInsita
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14 Apr 2012, 6:07 pm

I don’t have no answers and no advices to make your feelings go away. And at the end it might be that the advices already given (medication, professional consultation, “be a friend” and so on) aren’t going to do that either. Maybe time will stick to its cliché and heal - a day in a second and a second in a day, a year in an hour and an hour in a year and that moment will burst out again - just happy being alive, just moving as the universe moves and nothing else.

“Nothing to wait”… I started to think about it. What do we wait? What have I waited?

I have stared at the glass on the table and it hasn’t moved yet. But that doesn’t mean it never will. And if it never will… staring at the glass and it eventually moving or staring at the glass and it not moving were still ultimately the same thing.

“Nothing to wait”… You are right. There are no things in the future for us. But what came of that what just a while ago was no-thing and all things? Is it nothing, something or everything…?

I wish you all the best and send my warm thoughts on your way. There are moments when everything is meaningless and nothing just because all of this is so full. But there will become a moment when you’re with the wind, trees, music, your companion, and amazed how completely and fully this life can give and take you.



namaste
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15 Apr 2012, 1:18 am

scubasteve wrote:
If the reason does not bring desire, I'd suspect it may be more an issue of mental chemistry than one of situation or purpose. In that case, I would suggest speaking with a qualified psychiatrist as soon as you are able.

i did visit a psychiatrist she prescribed me antidepressants
which are very strong and they just makes me sleepy
i discontinued eating them


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