Why do I have to know everything?

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This is something that drives me crazy. When I hear one side of a conversation or I mishear something, I just have to know about it. It drives me crazy if I don't, regardless of how meaningless it is or if it involves me. It really pisses people off, myself included. If they won't tell me what I want to know, I start getting panicky and frustrated. It makes me angry.

Does this relate to autism? Is there an explanation for this or am I just an extremely nosy jerk?

Same here... Chalk it up to the social interaction aspect of Aspiedom, I think. My advice though is to try to play it off and pretend you don't care. I know it's frustrating, but I think a lot of NTs have the opposite inclination... They like to be coy about things, and if you ask them more than once, it's frustrating to them and they get angry.

The reason I asked is because I'm fighting with my fiancee about it and she really doesn't understand the whole aspie thing. So she also doesn't understand that I can't see things from her point of view as easily. It's stuff like this that makes me avoid social situations. It's better for me to keep my mouth shut.

You have to realize that life, and other people's conversations are not all about you. You also are not entitled to know all about other people's business. If you happen to overhear part of person's conversation with someone else, that does not entitle you to be briefed on what you missed. At the same time, it does not mean that the people involved in that conversation are slighting you in anyway. For pete's sake! A private conversation is supposed to be PRIVATE! That means that people who were not part of the conversation, are not entitled to know all the details. It is rude to "barge in" on it either during or after the fact. That means that conversations that do not specifically include you are NONE OF YOUR BIZ!. Lighten up on your gf and anyone else you have been pestering. Let it go. If a conversation does not specifically include you, it doesn't concern you.

Something else to consider. If you keep driving the people around you crazy over this, you will drive them away. That includes your gf. Do you really want that, and do you really want to come across as a nosy jerk? That's the way many people look at such behavior.

Sorry for the LOUD parts. That was done to stress some points, not in anger.

I used to be like this, but it just made me anxious and unhappy. Also, if I tried to follow up by asking people what they were just talking about, they would invariably not tell me, making me think they were just trying to mess with me in the first place.. so why bother?

Now, I don't care in general. If they were trying to insult me somehow, so what. If they were trying to compliment me, they were doing a bad job, they should have done it to my face. If it was neither, then I'm not particularly interested. I win.

I know exactly what you mean... This happens to me often. I am forceful and tell them that I need to know. It's not that I care about it, really, I just feel the need to know because... well... I'm still not completely sure. I do know, however, that after they tell me, I am mostly uninterested in the little "details" they include and whatnot. I don't think it's about being nosy; I think it's more about inclusion. Almost like we are interested enough to know, but not interested enough to genuinely care if it isn't INTERESTING. Gossiping and that kind of thing are uninteresting altogether.

Happened last week: two people were talking in front of me about some situation that everyone was saying "Oh, yeah! That guy! He was doing that!" and that kind of thing. I only wanted to know because they seemed so interested. I lost interest as soon as they told me and I began to think about something else. They kept trying to talk to me and I'd just nod my head and pretend to care. This happens way too often.

If the people do not tell me, I often become anxious, confused, and a little bit ticked off.

I had more of this problem when I was younger and I learned to mind my own business and not socialize as much since everything seems to not be my business. And it is annoying when you are talking to someone and someone walks into the room and wants to know what you are talking about. Then you have to repeat everything and it's so annoying so it's easier to say "Mind your own business" or tell them "nothing." or just give them a benefit of the doubt and tell them you were not talking about them. But I do this with my husband a lot and with my family and husband's. Hypocrite I know. Plus I hate that sort of gossip where someone wants to know everything just so they can repeat it to others so how can I trust anyone? Plus my ex's son was like this and he wanted to know everything and my ex always felt the need to tell him. Eventually I would have started to get tough and tell him to mind his own business and not talk when he is around or maybe not talk to my ex as much knowing he will blab it to his kid. I swear this is some form of emotional abuse. But at least it taught me a lesson.

As someone mentioned earlier, it might be more about inclusion than anything. The other issue I have is when someone tells me "I wasn't talking to you" or "mind your business". I know I'm being nosy, but hearing those words sound harsh to me and I actually get hurt over it. It's odd because I'm sure I really am being a pest and I deserve it. This stuff just doesn't register properly in my brain.

Dude.. I feel it. I am exactly the same way.
I beloieve that there is a good chance that we are like this becasue we lack social power somewaht.. so we need to make up for it by gaining information/power some other way socially.
This is my guess anyhow.