Not sure if I have Asperger's.

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Hi everyone. A while ago, at my public library, I picked up the book: Asperger's Syndrome And Bullying by Nick Dubin. I began to browse through, thinking it would be an interesting read. However instead of me reading the book, it seemed like I was being read. The kids and situations in Dubin's book were reading me like a book, these kids were people I could relate to and it was at that moment that I realized I might be an Aspie.

I am not formally diagnosed nor do my NT friends believe that I am an Aspie. So, I've come to wrongplanet to ask for some opinions. Am I an Aspie?

Since a very young age I've had numerous "quirks," some of which include OCD (I have cried and openly had a meltdown when my friend sharpened my pencil, without my permission, in 3rd grade), a monotonous voice (I try all the time to present a more cheerful tone, people don't seem to notice -_-), and gullibility. Also, I seem to have the miraculous ability of unintentionally pissing people off because of my tone and also possess blunt personality that makes me appear negative (Apparently people don't like people saying the world is full of idiots). The worst thing is when people misinterpret what I say in real life. For instance, a person I know got into Princeton University, so I made a comment to her stating, "it's hard to make friends in Princeton, good luck," which she misinterpreted as me stating that she will have no social life. What I meant is that from I've researched that competition at Ivies can be cutthroat, so it's harder to establish a social life.

Then again, many of these "quirks" may have been caused my unwillingness to socialize with people. I've always been satisfied with basic social interactions such as talking to my classmates and acquaintances, and never really bothered to socially interact. Which is why I became known as the "quiet" kid, even though I think I talk quite a bit.

Though... maybe I am just hoping for an Asperger's diagnosis to justify my selfish personality. I'm always thinking about myself and what I have done wrong in my life, instead of looking outside to observe the creatures known as people. I really don't know...

If you have read this rant/question, I thank you for spending your time. But, if you could spare more of your time to give an honest opinion on the matter, that would be great.

Im not sure if you have aspergers or not, but it does sound possible. Common trais of aspergers are ( in no particular order) :
- being socially akward and less empathetic
- 'stims' ( self stimulations that normally are sub-caunciouse) like tapping your feet, wringing out your hands or rocking back and forth
- taking sarcasm and jokes literally
- being clumsy and having little cordination
- obsessing over a subject or object for long- periods of time
- feeling the need for routine

If you have some of theese traits, it is definently possible you have aspergers. I reccomend researching more about it and taking tests online. If you have any more questions feel free to ask me

-Socially Awkward: check
-'stims'- Grind teeth, twist hair, long blinks: check
-Taking sarcasm and jokes literally- 50/50: kinda check
-Clumsy: check
-Obsession- on and off- Not too sure?
-Routine- I've learned to adapt to changes in routine. But, if someone suggests a new way to do something; I will oppose until they tell me why it is more practical: kinda check

I received a 144/200 on the Aspie test and have done several hours of reading on AS. I'm just debating whether or not I should visit a specialist; like a psychologist or psychiatrist.

Also question: How do you talk to a person in a one on one casual conversation without creating an awkward silence? Especially if you have just met the person. I don't really care much for pop culture and don't really know how to bring up a topic of interest.

It all depends on whether you want to be diagnosed with a disorder/abnormality or whether you prefer to see your behaviour as just a normal variant of human behaviour; a particular cognitive/communication style that other people have and which has both advantages and disadvantages

Having been diagnosed with Aspergers I can honestly say I feel a lot happier now I've decided to reject the diagnosis and just be me. I found the Aspergers label disempowering as it's like saying there's something 'wrong' with you when in my opnion it's a difference not an abnormality.

But plenty of others on here will tell you how beneficial they've found it to have a diganosis
so it's your choice who you want to listen to

If you give person a label they often end up living down to it rather than striving upwards to fulfill their potential ie it's limiting.

In terms of talking to another person without it being awkward - it all depends on whether the person is on your wavelenth ie whether they have a similar cognitive/communication style - if they don't it will probably be awkward and if they do you'll probably find it much easier to talk to them.

Why would you say that? lol

It seems a perfectly reasonable thing to say if he knew it was very socially competitive at Princeton

It's hard for a lot of people to make friends at any university so I would assume that at somewhere like Princeton the difficulty would increase

That is true. Everyone has their own opinions on the matter. To be honest, the main problem I have with going to the psychologist is that from what I've read; some are prone to misdiagnosis, since the "Syndrome," condition, w/e you want to call it is relatively new type of diagnosis.

And nessa228, you're right. I consider the diagnosis as just an explanation of why I feel like my rhythm is so different from society's. No matter what, I am me, so I'm fine either way. Also, Asperger's is different for everyone. Just like food, or a more specific example grapes. We are all growing on this vineyard known as Earth. There are big and small, juicy and dry, sweet and sour... I'm trying to go somewhere with this and sound sophisticated, but I lost my train of thought...

But yeah... I feel like I could be a NT, yet I still feel so isolated. I know my thought process is different than many of the peoples' I've encountered and as a person still going through puberty, I just wish to properly sort this out before I truly go out into the world.

Anyway, thanks for all your opinions and feel free to share more.

After my official diagnosis of Asperger's in 2008 I began what I called a new journey in life---a journey of discovery. For the first months, I often questioned things about my diagnosis wondering if I for sure had Asperger's. I noted that the criteria matched me perfectly, but yet I still wondered. Belonging to the WrongPlanet helped me a lot. This site became my best counselors. Then, after a few months, I learned to relax with my questions about myself. Now, after having learned so much more about autism, I have no doubt that I have Asperger's. I can feel the autism in me. For me, it is a good thing. I have focused on the positives of autism, while accepting the challenges. I believe it is natural for one to have to go on their own journeys of discovery to learn about the autism in themselves---just as I have done. And after finding confidence in the diagnosis (if you have a diagnosis) the journey will continue.