Can somebody please explain the feeling of it being right?

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Last edited by katwithhat on 27 Apr 2012, 8:43 am, edited 1 time in total.

What "things" are you talking about? (Sorry. I'm an aspie. You have to be specific).

Examples:
If doesn't feel right to go to the McDonalds that is closest to my home. It feels better to use the one that is farther.

I must drive the exact same route when I am going somewhere I know even if there is traffic or a easier way because it feels right.

It doesn't feel right when I fix my hair before I put on my makeup.

I cannot wear anything except black t-shirts because it does not feel right.

There are too many to list but hopefully this will help.

Interesting question. Maybe YOU can tell ME.

Sounds more like an OCD thing, then an autistic thing.

I guess maybe what I am asking is why must we have such rigid routines and cannot stand it if they are broken?

It is probably difficult for you to make changes because you have a mental picture of the future, and when things happen that are unexpected, you have to re-arrange that picture. That is difficult, because it's difficult for you to switch from one thing to another quickly; so it takes up a lot of mental resources and that creates stress. That's the way it is for me, anyway. And I don't have OCD; you don't have to have OCD to be fairly routine-dependent. For me, the routines are functional because doing things the same way every time is faster and more efficient.

Did you ever see the movie "As Good As It Gets"? Jack Nicholson HAS to avoid stepping on the cracks in the sidewalk. Why? It's an OCD thing not necessarily an Asoerger's thing. His brain tells him, for whatever reason, he has to avoid those cracks. He won't fall into them or trip over them but he avoids them just the same. It's kinda like the guy who, when walking on the street in a rural neighborhood, has to stop at every faucet to wash his hands - even if it meant sneaking into a yard with a snarling dog in it. And, as I'm sure you're aware, aspies go out of their way to avoid confrontation.

I am not clinically diagnosed AS but not clinically diagnosed OCD either. I am not here to argue with anybody as to what I have or do not have BUT I would like to know how either diagnosed aspies or undiagnosed aspies (me) deal with things that they are not comfortable with. And maybe how to get myself out of my rigid adherence to routines and feel comfortable about it.

One can ask 'why' to anything, including answers to other 'why' questions.

Ultimately, the only answer is simply -

Because.

OCD is more like, "if I don't do it right, terrible things will happen." So, not an OCD thing.

Not true. It's very much an OCD thing. The subset of OCD-ers who have symmetry and "just right" concerns often don't have a clear-cut safety/danger obsession linked to their ordering compulsions. These folks tend to just have an increased feeling of anxiety that won't go away until they get the "just right" signal from doing their compulsion. While some "just right" OCD-ers do have more classic safety/danger obsessions of something terrible happening if they don't do their ritual, many don't.

I have pure obsessional OCD, so my severe OCD symptoms aren't of the "just right" subset. However, many of my minor OCD rituals, along with my perfectionism and obsessional slowness, deal with "just right concerns." So, I know all too well this feeling, and it is a very hard one to describe. It really is just this feeling of built-up tension and anxiety and pressure that won't go away until your basal ganglia decides to give you the "okay" to move on. And there's no method to the madness of why one moment of time or one attempt at doing something is "right" and "good" as opposed to another.

Since I have both OCD and AS, I can say with certainty that none of my purely AS rituals have any "just right" factor to them. With AS rituals, I enjoy sameness because of the comfort of predictability. There is no fear, guilt, or general feeling of anxiety/tension involved. AS rituals are fun and pleasurable. Nothing about OCD is fun or pleasurable.

I can't explain it but I can understand it. There are certain things I have to do a certain way and if they can't be done that way I usually don't bother doing them at all.

One example is that when I do my laundry by hand it has to be washed in a very specific way. When I moved for various reasons I could no longer do it that way. I ended up not doing any laundry for 2 months until I could get myself to go to the new laundromat that I had never been to.

Another example is I wash my hair under the tub faucet and if that broke I just wouldn't wash my hair until it was fixed. I can't wash it in the shower or sink.

Last edited by hanyo on 27 Apr 2012, 8:14 am, edited 1 time in total.

I agree that the OP's problem sounds more OCD than autistic.

Autistic people don't do things a certain way because they feel "right." They do things a certain way because they feel familiar. It's a completely different thing.

I am getting frustrated. This is the reason I stay to myself. Autistic, OCD, crazy, I don't care....

Thank you for all the help.

Well, even if you don't care what label(s) you have, it's important to distinguish between autistic-like repetitive behaviors and OCD-like repetitive behaviors, in order to properly help you cope and understand what you're dealing with. It's very possible you don't have any full-blown disorder. You could just have ASD and/or OCD traits and not need a label. But ultimately, even if you just have traits and not a full neuropsych disorder, if your "just right" feelings are causing you irritation, similar stratgies used for clinical populations can still benefit you in your life.