Mootoo wrote:
Personally, every single one of them... I know it wouldn't be sensible otherwise to act on any of these feelings, especially as it's not 'mainstream', and in all likelihood the person isn't attracted to the same sex... but oh, I feel so broken now...
Generally, I've developed social anxiety, so I wouldn't talk to many people anyway, regardless of my feelings for them... but I feel like I've lost so many chances, so many potential lives, left with only miserable loneliness...
Now I don't even feel like I'd be remotely functional in a relationship, so I'm not even trying... and I've similarly abandoned any attempts to hooking up for purely lustful activities since I'd probably end up being a fool...
I totally understand that. I got lucky. Although our relationship isn't um.... conventional, it works for me. I can mostly be myself with him, and that helps. I have made a few mistakes by NOT suppressing and it turned out very badly. I still have a crush on someone, well not sure crush/love but whatever. I like him for many years, finally was able to act on it and he totally burned me. Left me utterly miserable. I would never want to go through that EVER again.
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Your Aspie score: 180 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 27 of 200
Autism-Spectrum Quotient is 48
AS, OCD, ADHD - Diagnosed
PTSD - Undiagnosed
<"May the Gods have mercy on you for I shall show none...">