How many times have you had a crush and suppressed it?

Page 1 of 3 [ 38 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3  Next

Mootoo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Oct 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,942
Location: over the rainbow

27 Apr 2012, 7:45 am

Personally, every single one of them... I know it wouldn't be sensible otherwise to act on any of these feelings, especially as it's not 'mainstream', and in all likelihood the person isn't attracted to the same sex... but oh, I feel so broken now...

Generally, I've developed social anxiety, so I wouldn't talk to many people anyway, regardless of my feelings for them... but I feel like I've lost so many chances, so many potential lives, left with only miserable loneliness...

Now I don't even feel like I'd be remotely functional in a relationship, so I'm not even trying... and I've similarly abandoned any attempts to hooking up for purely lustful activities since I'd probably end up being a fool...



nebrets
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Feb 2012
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 842
Location: Texas

27 Apr 2012, 11:38 am

Well except for the fact that I am strait, I have done the same thing. I do not know if they would be interested in me, and I am too insecure to find out if they would be. So far the ONLY guy to express interest was trying to use me, so that scares me about future relationships (theoretically if there was a future relationship).
I am currently working suppressed crush number 6 in my rather short life.
Good luck for figuring out what to do, as I certainly have not.



visagrunt
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Oct 2009
Age: 57
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,118
Location: Vancouver, BC

27 Apr 2012, 11:42 am

At least twice in the last month...


_________________
--James


throat
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 25 Jan 2011
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 35

27 Apr 2012, 12:56 pm

ive never had a crush on anyone, The concept of a crush seems strange.



Mootoo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Oct 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,942
Location: over the rainbow

27 Apr 2012, 5:04 pm

throat, for me it was more of a beauty thing... not a crush like many people have on celebrities etc. (which, in all likelihood is simply due to their popularity or wealth). I went to a boys-only school and from a class full of males there was usually one or two that I thought were attractive. Then I noticed all their traits, the way they move etc.



puddingmouse
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Apr 2010
Age: 38
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,777
Location: Cottonopolis

27 Apr 2012, 6:00 pm

I've lost count.


_________________
Zombies, zombies will tear us apart...again.


AstroGeek
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Jan 2011
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,582

27 Apr 2012, 7:59 pm

Every single one. Well, before I accepted that I was gay, I sort of developed a crush on a girl (don't ask me how that worked--needless to say, I was not remotely attracted to her body) that I sort of tried to do something about. Turned out she'd been asked out by another guy just before I got up my nerve. Now that I've accepted that I'm gay I realize that was for the best. Crushes on guys I have never acted on and generally view as hopeless (since these guys are in all probability straight). So nothing happens besides my admiring their face and/or body when they're not looking.



Joker
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 19 Mar 2011
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 7,593
Location: North Carolina The Tar Heel State :)

28 Apr 2012, 12:37 am

This has happened to me once.



Butterflies
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 10 Feb 2011
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 168

01 May 2012, 6:22 pm

Hundred of times.

I've been in love with my best friend since we started school. She doesnt have a clue.


_________________
A website for aspies: http://www.zomgreloaded.com


CSBurks
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 29 Apr 2012
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 766

02 May 2012, 2:40 am

All of them, save one, my only heterosexual relationship. Suffice it to say, that relationship did not end well.



khaos
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 22 Feb 2012
Gender: Female
Posts: 267
Location: United States

18 May 2012, 6:32 pm

Mootoo wrote:
Personally, every single one of them... I know it wouldn't be sensible otherwise to act on any of these feelings, especially as it's not 'mainstream', and in all likelihood the person isn't attracted to the same sex... but oh, I feel so broken now...

Generally, I've developed social anxiety, so I wouldn't talk to many people anyway, regardless of my feelings for them... but I feel like I've lost so many chances, so many potential lives, left with only miserable loneliness...

Now I don't even feel like I'd be remotely functional in a relationship, so I'm not even trying... and I've similarly abandoned any attempts to hooking up for purely lustful activities since I'd probably end up being a fool...


I totally understand that. I got lucky. Although our relationship isn't um.... conventional, it works for me. I can mostly be myself with him, and that helps. I have made a few mistakes by NOT suppressing and it turned out very badly. I still have a crush on someone, well not sure crush/love but whatever. I like him for many years, finally was able to act on it and he totally burned me. Left me utterly miserable. I would never want to go through that EVER again.


_________________
Your Aspie score: 180 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 27 of 200
Autism-Spectrum Quotient is 48
AS, OCD, ADHD - Diagnosed
PTSD - Undiagnosed
<"May the Gods have mercy on you for I shall show none...">


Heidi80
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Dec 2011
Age: 44
Gender: Female
Posts: 581

23 May 2012, 4:59 am

I've surpressed a lot of crushes. I've had the pattern of getting a crush on my best female friends and being too scared to do something about it. I had a big crush on my partner for a long time before we got together, and was scared of showing her my feelings. She stayed with me during the gay pride 2 years ago and then we started dating.



DevilKisses
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 3 Jul 2010
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,067
Location: Canada

31 Jul 2012, 4:25 am

I get the most random and inappropriate crushes. Most of them happen to be on the same sex. I usually avoid people I have inappropriate crushes on.


_________________
Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 82 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 124 of 200
You are very likely neurotypical


UnBored
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

User avatar

Joined: 23 Jul 2012
Age: 123
Gender: Male
Posts: 94

31 Jul 2012, 4:34 am

All but one basically. And im straight so i guess among aspies it's just a normal thing. Just for me i found every crush i had and missed my chance with made the next crush harder to bear. One day you just can't take it any more. It's actually quite liberating to break free and finally tell a crush what you think of them + now it's happened i don't think i'd actually get that again, i think that if i was to have another crush i'd just jump in, except with the benefit of the previous experience rounding off some of my harsher edges. Things like that really are conquerable and from the other side you see just how silly holding back really is. The sooner you jump in the sooner you can start living really, personally i think it's the biggest problem a lot of aspies have, they crush on one person, never resolve it and then they never give anyone else a chance. Get the crush dealt with in some way and then it frees you up, if it doesn't work at least you're free again and with that free and receptive mood you'll increase your chances by quite a bit. Imo.

"For well you know that it's a fool who plays it cool
By making his world a little colder" :).



VMSmith
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Apr 2011
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,735
Location: the old country

31 Jul 2012, 8:51 am

all of them. they're pointless and dont make me feel good. there is no point in wanting what you can never have.



godoftruemercy
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 19 Sep 2011
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 298

18 Aug 2012, 1:07 am

All of high school. Bad idea. Me and my closeted friend had a lot of fights for no reason I could discern. She also sat on my lap a lot. Nothing going on! We're totally straight, guys! *eye twitch*