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scrulie
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11 Nov 2006, 5:56 am

Do you do a lot of rehearsing inside your head, like I do? I endlessly rehearse conversations that I'm going to have, or even that I'm quite unlikely to have. I also 'rehearse' after social situations, sort of trying to re-do the conversation/situation in my head the way i should have done it. Maybe I'm trying to make sure I don't make the same mistakes again, or maybe I'm trying to convince myself that it went better than it actually did. I can get really hyped-up doing this - there's a lot of anxiety associated with it.


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KBABZ
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11 Nov 2006, 6:19 am

I do that sort of thing too, partly to double-check to see what might/has gone wrong in the conversation, and also because I like altering things. That's why I like fanfics! For me, there's no anxiety involved.


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fresco
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11 Nov 2006, 6:31 am

I sometimes think of phrases or possible topics of conversation before a social event. I think the worst thing is the postmortem following the social interaction. Was she looking at me funny, did I offend so and so, were they being rude, was I impolite, did I reveal too much, what will happen next etcetc



Scintillate
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11 Nov 2006, 7:01 am

all the time..

even with people I know VERY well, on the way to their house I practice about 5 different topics so that I don't get stuck on one, doesn't usually work :P


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pluto
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11 Nov 2006, 7:07 am

I usually rehearse things as well but I agonise about whether I'm rehearsing too much or not
enough,which just makes me more anxious ! For social occasions I seem to have stored
up a supply of assorted anecdotes and jokes in my mind,waiting for an appropriate time to
use them.Occasionally it works really well,if I happen to have an interesting story that
fits a topic that's being discussed,in which case it looks like I'm being spontaneous.Little do
people know the preparation that's gone into it.
There are also times I've gone to an occasion and decided to 'go with the flow' only to
struggle for things to say. I think the most important thing is to try and be in the right frame
of mind,regardless of whether anything's been rehearsed or not. There are times when we
might not say anything much,but if other people see we appear relatively contented they'll be more inclined to talk to us.



SteveK
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11 Nov 2006, 7:40 am

I do BOTH! I rehearse and relive! The reliving can be funny. I would go back to the person. Could be seconds, or days later, and clarify something. It was ALWAYS seen as odd though, so now, if I rediscuss, it is more subtle.

Steve



Tim_Tex
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11 Nov 2006, 7:56 am

I use to do nothing but rehearse, but I am better at saying things that are impromptu.

Tim


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Emettman
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11 Nov 2006, 8:39 am

I'm not afraid of impromptu conversations and situations, but that is largely because, like an experienced chess player I've been over the usual openings and their variations many, many times.

As Pluto said, stored assorted anecdotes, jokes and illustrations are a definite resource.
(but should not be dumped into a conversation inappropriately, or just to avoid a silence.)

There's always the asking for time ploy. That can sometimes get a very positive (and surprised!) reaction. "I must think about that..." "...give that some thought."

Faced with a topic I cannot (politely) disengage from which is of utterly no interest, rather than knaw my own leg off, I try to find some detail (just a small point or something of a tangent if nrecessary) in order to be able to make a positive contribution. The error here would be to try and make the whole conversation turn that way.



Callista
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11 Nov 2006, 9:10 am

Yep, I do that. It's just a habit, really--it's only a nervous habit if I'm nervous at the time! An appointment with my psychiatrist gets rehearsed repeatedly for weeks ahead of time... little does she know how much effort goes into that 20-minute block of time!


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yoyo
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11 Nov 2006, 9:31 am

I am only successful if I rehearse. This applies to meetings and social events, even with family. If I don't rehearse things simply go very badly wrong. AS for reliving, this goes on for months, even years afterwards for me. I particularly relive events that have gone badly.

Yoyo



krex
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11 Nov 2006, 1:39 pm

Most of my "day dreaming" and presleep is taken up with imaginary conversations with authority figures that I will need to speak with or in social context with someone I like.By the time I have the actual conversation,I am already burnt out with the topic.I dont really experience it as "writing script" that I will then recite....(I have poor memory.)I think I am just trying to clarify my thoughts and feelings about things that make me insecure.The irony is once I am in the situation....I just ramble on and forget everything I wanted to say.It is really frustrating,especially with psyc appt or dealing with DRs.


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Starr
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11 Nov 2006, 1:54 pm

I relive and the event changes slightly every time, getting a bit worse each 're-run' until in the end I decide I made a complete pratt of myself and the person I was talking to hates my guts. I'm really surprised if it turns out not to be true.



Sixela
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11 Nov 2006, 2:05 pm

krex said it for me, I'm just like that.

It doesn't seem to matter what I do either, to make the social interaction go as smoothly as the mental rehersal, and often it ends up without whatever advantage I was attempting to get out of it. Its so difficult to do when so many judge you not by what you say but how you say it. I mean, that can be an important aspect, but people need to realize that it isn't everything. I try to take the attitude that its thier loss if they judge me and treat me based on the way I express myself verbally and using 'strange' body language, but its hard and I feel like I also loose a lot.

I can remember what I want to say if/when I'm staring off into space and don't get interrupted; but then I'm not using 'appropriate' body language. And i can use 'proper' body language but then, usually forget what I was going to say, or at least my main point. :?



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11 Nov 2006, 2:23 pm

all the time.... rehearse, re-live, re-evaluate, etc
Constantly.



fujikochan
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11 Nov 2006, 5:09 pm

Far too often.



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11 Nov 2006, 5:26 pm

Ya.. Now I try to use that skill to come up with jokes :lol: