Some sentence structure drives be nuts.

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Hey Girls and Guys.

I amn't a pedant. I don't correct people. Because it doesn't bother me I started this sentance with 'because' just then.
But some sentences just break my brain compiler and are just utterly impossible for me to parse. It's an issue of logic.
I'll try to give some examples.

"If you can come in early." Ahh, maybe its because I'm a programmer, but I am lest perpetually waiting for the 'then' If () {
Or what actually gives me a head ache, this might be an Irish thing. A lot of people don't ever actualy finish the sentence, it fills the buffer in my mind. Eg.

"If we could discuss, and I was just talking to james the other day about this at the meeting, by the way frank didn't show up after insisting we be there and Mary came in while she was sick, which is very unfair, then new road which with go through the town and it's been having a very hard time....."

They just go on an on like that. I'm not doing it on purpose. Maybe other people can process that stuff as it comes in but I need the whole sentence so my buffer keeps filling an filling untill my eyes are rolling back and I have a headache.

Try reading James Joyce's Ulysses.

How the heck anyone can read this sort of stuff:

Mulveys was the first when I was in bed that morning and Mrs Rubio brought it in with the coffee she stood there standing when I asked her to hand me and I pointing at them I couldnt think of the word a hairpin to open it with ah horquilla disobliging old thing and it staring her in the face with her switch of false hair on her and vain about her appearance ugly as she was near 80 or a 100 her face a mass of wrinkles with all her religion domineering because she never could get over the Atlantic fleet coming in half the ships of the world and the Union Jack flying with all her carabineros because 4 drunken English sailors took all the rock from them and because I didnt run into mass often enough in Santa Maria to please her with her shawl up on her except when there was a marriage on with all her miracles of the saints and her black blessed virgin with the silver dress and the sun dancing 3 times on Easter Sunday morning and when the priest was going by with the bell bringing the vatican to the dying blessing herself for his Majestad an admirer he signed it I near jumped out of my skin I wanted to pick him up when I saw him following me along the Calle Real in the shop window then he tipped me just in passing I never thought hed write making an appointment I had it inside my petticoat bodice all day reading it up in every hole and corner while father was up at the drill instructing to find out by the handwriting or the language of stamps singing I remember shall I wear a white rose and I wanted to put on the old stupid clock to near the time

But they do! "Anyone can read it" they say. Huh???!??!?

Ahhhhh. [head explodes]

I dislike certain sentence structures too, but then again, I wordsmith for a living.

I was lost one line into that.

Me too. Something something about a hairpin.

I'm sort of curious if any aspie can read Ulysses.

That's what's called 'stream of consciousness' writing, which I never understood. I am writing stream of consciousness, right now, apart from a few syntax and grammar corrections. Is Ulysses, then, how most people think? I understand that most people need notes to read it, because of all the cultural artifacts from 1920s Ireland, but its supposed to be comprehensible other than that. To me its utter gibberish, and I've tried to read it with the notes.

I think Ulysses would be much more impressive if he left out all the spaces between the words, too.

Aside: Back when I was little, before I could read, I thought the spaces between typed words looked ugly. Solid blocks of letters looked much nicer to me.

I had to read it for class while I was in college. I made it maybe a third the way into the book before I gave up; I didn't absorb a single thing it said. Other books that employ stream of consciousness or non-linear storytelling are difficult for me to decipher.

if then if then if then if then if then if then if then

If there be an if, then there should be a then.

if then if then if then if then if then if then if then

else

die die die die die die die

I am sicko of language why can't we stop using language I rather grunt and screech and fling poop I need to take a shower my eyedrop meds are medsing with mah brrrainzzz

Well, just Sunday I thought, "Talking is such an inefficient communication tool"...

There's a comma in that sentence, especially if it's spoken aloud. "If you can, come in early" is much easier to parse.

Thanks for the warning about James Joyce's "Ulysses." I do occasionally like to read classics and other well known works, but prefer to avoid the fake "quality" books. This appears to be one of those fakes. The excerpt you posted indicates that this book is garbage. When moving up here, I had to get rid of some of my books as it was not possible to take all of them with me. Among those I left behind were almost all of my limited classic collection. Because they are classics, I can easily find them in the library, or buy them again. I did make one exception among the classics part of my collection. I kept my paper back of Rudyard Kiplings' "Kim." It is not a dumbed down for kids version.

My moving van consisted of my younger brother's pickup truck and my Jeep Cherokee. Both were overloaded for the trip. I drove behind my brother, and did have to signal him once along the way as one of the ropes had come loose and something was in danger of falling out of the back of the pickup.

I am not perfect in the grammar department, but I do okay. I do find some stuff bothers me. My younger brother's writing in his emails leaves a lot to be desired. However, I never criticise him, as I am just glad that he does write, which is more important to me than how well he writes. Thanks to the Internet, he also reads more than he would other wise, so I am happy about that, too, as he was not good in academics in school. At least he can read, and is willing to read what interests him. In my opinion, a person with poor reading and writing skills, but who does read and write, is better off than one with those skills, but who doesn't use them.

I've never read any of Kipling's prose, only his verse. I can't normally stand poetry, but Kipling seems to pull it off quite well. Last of the Light Brigade is a particular favourite of mine.

I can't. I'd rather read Dickens, though it's not easy for me as a non-native English speaker, it's classic, and it has a certain 19th century charm to it.


... my eye-drops medicines are meddling with my brain ?

This is why punctuation is so important. An interesting exercise would be to rewrite using proper grammar. Maybe there is a story in there somewhere. Nothing but endless run-on phrases.

Well let's see:

MulveyswasthefirstwhenIwasinbedthatmorningandMrsR
ubiobroughtitinwiththecoffeeshestoodtherestanding
whenIaskedhertohandmeandIpointingatthemIcouldntth
inkofthewordahairpintoopenitwithahhorquilladisobl
igingoldthinganditstaringherinthefacewithherswitc
hoffalsehaironherandvainaboutherappearanceuglyass
hewasnear80ora100herfaceamassofwrinkleswithallher
religiondomineeringbecauseshenevercouldgetoverthe
Atlanticfleetcominginhalftheshipsoftheworldandthe
UnionJackflyingwithallhercarabinerosbecause4drunk
enEnglishsailorstookalltherockfromthemandbecauseI
didntrunintomassoftenenoughinSantaMariatopleasehe
rwithhershawluponherexceptwhentherewasamarriageon
withallhermiraclesofthesaintsandherblackblessedvi
rginwiththesilverdressandthesundancing3timesonEas
terSundaymorningandwhenthepriestwasgoingbywiththe
bellbringingthevaticantothedyingblessingherselffo
rhisMajestadanadmirerhesigneditInearjumpedoutofmy
skinIwantedtopickhimupwhenIsawhimfollowingmealong
theCalleRealintheshopwindowthenhetippedmejustinpa
ssingIneverthoughthedwritemakinganappointmentIhad
itinsidemypetticoatbodicealldayreadingitupinevery
holeandcornerwhilefatherwasupatthedrillinstructin
gtofindoutbythehandwritingorthelanguageofstampssi
ngingIremembershallIwearawhiteroseandIwantedtoput
ontheoldstupidclocktonearthetime


Yes, a little more challenging than the original text. I have arbitrarily used a line length of 50 characters (otherwise it would be one line that does not word-wrap). I have great trouble understanding both. Still if someone could rewrite using sentences, the might be a story in there somewhere.