Giving the District a Decision, What Would You Do?

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Anyone can read my "Stressed Out" thread here to know the story. We have pulled out our 1st grader because he was getting to a critical level of frustration, sensory overload, aggression and not being able to stay in class and working. This was after the apparent behavioral assessment. The school maintains that Pop was making good progress and doing better. They saw no problems.
We insist that they weren't looking at the situation from a special needs point of view. They just reacted to his reactions, ending up with his getting kicked out of class for a half hour, sometimes several hours. The principal kept referring to his issues as "getting away" with it. They were untrained and the district doesn't require autism training.
Should we just drop the district and not worry about them anymore?
The district is still wanting to work with us and I'm having second thoughts. I am able to stay with Pop and be his teacher, look for a club or whatnot for socializing.
However, I'm resentful that the school can lie and say they are complying and that my son is "doing better". I'm resentful that he is currently away from his "friends", that because they can't handle his special needs, he doesn't benefit from a "free" education. School books for a year are about $150+. And we haven't investigated what it will cost to find an appropriate club or program for him.

Should we try to fight with the school? Is he better off at home?

It is always nice to fight the good fight, but really are you going to accomplish anything by forcing them. I know some people think that if you make them comply then they will have to provide good services. But sometimes all you accomplish is having them appear to provide supports but not really doing it. One special education lawyer told us that regardless of whether kids need the Cadillac of services all schools are required is to provide the Pinto version. So it means dealing with way more stress in exchange for how many benefits. Also - even if you are homeschooling - many schools are required to continue to provide special education services like Speech or OT or PT. So if that is a concern you might want to look into that.

Yeah, these are the same questions we keep mulling over. My husband was saying, "is it success to have him in public school?"
my response is, "No, having him in school isn't the goal, having friends and learning or learning to learn is the goal".
My husband uses the wheelchair analogy, "If a child can't walk and the school doesn't provide ramps to get into school, do you punish him for being late to class?" That's the trouble with having an "invisible" disability. The experts, even the special ed teachers, can look at Pop and exclaim that he knows better, that he's just misbehaving. They don't get the concept of accomodations.

Speaking of stress, I was seeing a doctor for severe depression. I was losing it, big time. The day we pulled Pop out, I was fine. I knew the school thing was a factor, but didn't realize how big.

School wasn't providing any services, whenever we brought up Speech Therapy, they kept insisting that the SLP had a big caseload. I can't believe they can get away with being so blatant.

I sent you a PM

I totally know where you are coming from.

A little background on our experience -- my now 10 year old son gets diagnosed with PDD-NOS (essentially HFA) at just before age 5. We live in Pittsburgh, PA, and find an excellent state-subsidized preschool program for him for a few months. We then have to move (for my husband's job) to Sacramento, CA. We get excellent state help there for after school therapy, but immediately run into problems when we enroll him in Kindergarten. Our son tries kindergarten for a month, and his ridiculous kindergarten teacher says she can't handle him (and his worst behavior problem at the time was anti-socialness). The school psychologist had no idea about what she was doing, or if she did, she was lying to us because they didn't want to have to provide an aide. They sent my son many miles away to a different elementary school (we lived RIGHT NEXT DOOR to the original elementary school) where he could go half time (actually less) to a regular kindergarten, and most of the time to a special ed class with kids with varying degrees of special needs. The special ed teacher there was a sweetheart, self-taught about autism, because district wouldn't pay for any teacher education. We had a meeting EVERY SINGLE MONTH with the district, trying to get appropriate education that followed his IEP plan, and NEVER COULD because the district didn't want to spend the money. We went through this for a year, and as I did much internet research into autism/asperger's syndrome, I realized that we had just left the best area (Pittsburgh) for my son's needs.

My husband looked into changing jobs so that we could move back to Pittsburgh -- this was that serious a problem. Thankfully, he talked to his boss, who allowed us to move back. Even at the end of the year, with better meetings with the district (by better, I mean I didn't leave crying or wanting to kill someone), we realized that they would ALWAYS segregate our son, they would NEVER provide appropriate education, and he would slip educationally and socially.

From grades 1 through 5, we have been back in Pittsburgh. At this school, there is an autism satellite program (for kids with more severe autism), a behaviorist that specializes in autism who teaches the teachers skills in working with kids on the spectrum, and they basically give us everything we fought for in California. It's not always a perfect situation, but it's pretty darn close. My son had a wonderful full-time aide in first grade, multiple aides in second grade, fewer aides in third grade, and NO aides in fourth and fifth grade. He has friends, he has great teachers, and he is going to middle school next year, where they will continue to help him in the most suitable way.

In my humble opinion, I think you would be better off homeschooling for the short term. In Pennsylvania, there is an online charter school that provides the computer and all the curriculum, an accessible teacher and principal, and the people involved in the school often get together for social activities, field trips, etc. which would provide the necessary social "education" in a much smaller venue. This may be available in Arizona.

You may be able to research a different school district in Arizona that actually does understand autism. We found out toward the end of our time in Sacramento that a neighboring school district, Folsom, had a much better district that actually would provide the appropriate education we were looking for. You might have to drive your son, but it would be worth it. The other thing, if you're really serious and can manage it, is to find out the states that have good autism education opportunities (Pennsylvania, Wisconsin, etc.) and have your husband find a job there. I know it's too much to ask, to go find a different job, but when you think about it, your son is in school for 18 years of his life, and that school better be the best you can find. I think that you could possibly provide social activities even if your son was homeschooled by enrolling him in scouts, attending church, doing various sports activities at the YMCA, etc., but you'll never get as much intensive socialization as you do at school. This is painful in the beginning years, but I can now see the light at the end of the tunnel, and it's wonderful.

This is our story. I hope it helps. Your son is still young, and you still have time to get this situation rectified. Find a parent support group for autism spectrum issues in Arizona. When you listen to the other parents, you'll either here where your son should be going to school, or quickly realize that you need to homeschool or move.

Kris

We're definitely not moving again for a while. We were living in a nice city in California (Chico) but it was too expensive there. We were going broke then my husband was laid off. It's a college town and so the wages are very low and work is hard to find. So, we are back in Arizona. We married here and knew that the educational system is backwards. But it's cheap, my husband's job pays A LOT and we are paying off our debts. This allows me to stay at home.
The ironies of it all.
It does seem that the district here is all about integrating the invisible ones and then segregating the visible.

This is from an aspie point of view -- but I have about 40+ years of success in getting what I need/want.

Cannot tell you what to do but this approach has worked well for me.


1) First set your ideal outcome in concrete terms (picture) of what it is.

2) Think of a back up acceptable outcome.

3) Identify who is keeping you from what you want and study their tactics (e.g. acting superior). Learn what rules or norms they are subject to and if possible what scares/worries/annoys them the most.

4) Plan to counter their tactics - usually objective concrete portable evidence works best (as in video tape the class and sit in on it.

5) Develop a battle plan (how you will get what you want with oposition from school).

6) Plot battle plan and calculate probabilities. Prepare contingincies. The goal is to keep the oposition reacting and on the defensive - panic is good

7) Implement plan. If possible launch mutiple attacks at once (e.g. notice of some court action, request to explain videotape of classroom behaviors, drown teacher in requests for documentation, file civil rights claim, picket school on public property right of way, lots of methods pick some and go for it).

Forgot to mention,

Your child may even enjoy helping with this.

I had a similar project with my parents when my church would not let me be an altar person because of my sex. Within two weeks of a sunday school sit-in, total lack of nursery helpers, picketing the church, and no bakery for sunday morning coffee the minister came begging for a truce.

Another project was behavior modifying an annoying teacher. Whenever she touched me or tried to stop my stimming I bit her. When she left me alone - I stopped bitting

Both were wonderful experience bonding with my folks to plan the whole thing. Learned lots of project management skills.

Hello KimJ,

I know this is trying for you but you have to do what is best for your child. It may be that the best thing to do right now is to remove your child from school. I know that it is the opposite of what congress intended when they passed IDEA but if your child will be harmed by attending school, then your child comes before the law. When I was 9, my mother illegally refused to send me to school. The district by then had not convened an IEP meeting called for by my mother a year ago amongst other acts against IDEA. When the district called her to threaten legal proceedings, she told them "Please, lets get this in front of a judge." She did what was best for me regardless of the law.

Does this mean that you have to stop your fight because your son does not go to school? Hell No. I would start with the speech therapy issue. Send a nice but firm letter stating that they are still required to provide speech therapy if it is proven that your son needs it, that the law does not allow them to state that their case load is full already, and that you will defend your sons rights, even through due process and federal courts. Most school districts have a board which meets on a regular basis. All states have open meetings laws regarding government meetings, including a time where the citizens within the government organization can speak to the board. A school district board falls under these laws. Become a thorn in their side. Write letters to the state legislature and governor telling them what you are going through. Tell the governor that the Arizona Department of Education is not doing its job of enforcing the law and that is the governor's responsibility to do so. Write letters to your federal reps asking them to support full funding of IDEA and enlisting their help to enforce the law. Tell them that in more cases, congress' intent is not being carried out. Sooner or later, they will do something, even it to just shut you up.

I think that only you can decide this given your child, your situation, and your resources. I've known of families who have made widely varying decisions and have come out successfully. Some decided to stay put and fight the district and were instrumental in bringing about significant changes not only for their child but for others, using anywhere from a relatively inexpensive educational advocate all the way up to due process. Some decided to homeschool full time or part time or homeschool and utilize school services.

If you plan to live in the area for the long haul and the district isn't responsive I think I would be more inclined to band together with other parents and research how to best go about bringing about districtwide changes. This might seem the right choice for right now but you don't know what lies ahead and the time may come when you and/or your child feel it's best for him to return to public school.

Have you gone above the principal and brought the director of special education into the IEP meetings? How about addressed the superintendant and head of the school board with your concerns?

There is a chain of command that we have been dealing with. The superintendent has been notified, but it's unclear just how they are handling it. The district doesn't require training, so it seems as if we are at an impasse with both the school and the district.

Then call for a fair hearing on the training and speech therapy issue. Get a hearing officer (supposedly impartial) and/or a judge to determine if the district is required to train its people and offer a service regardless of their case load

If you're really serious about pushing the school into fulfilling their legal obligations, then there is a lot more than you can do that you probably haven't done. If you want more info on that then let us know, but if you've already resolved to homeschool then we should probably spend our time doing something else besides typing out suggestions.

Even if she has decided to homeschool temporarily, she may want to send her child to the public school eventually. Thus it may be worth it to homeschool her child while she is fighting the district. This was, if she loses, her child does not lose but if she wins, she has the option of returning her child to the school.

Even if she does homeschool though, she may be entitled to other services (SPT, OT, PT, etc) that the district is not providing by stating that their case load is already full (which I do not think is allowable by law).

Yeah, that's exactly what we're working out right now. We naively thought that this behavioral assessment would be our "proof" that the school staff is out of compliance and that the training would "set them straight". Now they are telling us that the assessment is just a list of "suggestions" and they have no authority.
What I wasn't really thinking that the district would care that I pulled him out. They are acting like I didn't spend (waste) enough time "working it out".
I explained that this was a crisis situation. We have been talking and cooperating and sharing and offering the whole time. The school has drawn the line in the sand and we just can't send our son there with that circumstance.
We can afford to hire a lawyer to write a demand letter (which have been advised to do). But we can't afford the time and money to actually go to court. So, that's why we are questioning whether or not to even bother. My personal goal (not necessarily my husband's) is to have the option and the established paperwork/right to send my son back to school and not have to start over again when and if we want to.



As far as IEP meetings go, the IEP is fine, it's that the school isn't complying with it. They are applying their own interpretation. (ie administering it incorrectly)

With our experience in California, we were no better off after a year of "working with" the school district than we were when we arrived. We had a couple of state-funded "advocates" there to help us, but to no avail. We went to many different conferences on trying to get IDEA enforced, but only heard horror stories of people spending big bucks on lawyers and years of their lives trying to enforce the "No Child Left Behind" crap, with not much benefit in the long run for their child. It may be helpful for the children AFTER your child, but not immediately helpful for your own.

"No Child Left Behind" is a great sounding piece of legislation, but it has not been funded EVER by the federal government.

If you decide to go ahead and fight, you must be the kind of person who actually ENJOYS a fight. Otherwise, it will just leave you with a lot of anger, and less energy to help your son.

Homeschooling might be a wonderful alternative, with less wear and tear on your family. As long as you can provide additional social elements to the homeschooling, it might be preferable in the long run.