Tired of Apologizing.

Post Reply New Topic

Greetings.

Does anyone else get sick and tired of apologizing for social flubs, especially among people who KNOW you have Asperger's?

Long story abbreviated:

I managed to "offend" one of my bosses when I was trying to explain to an entire room full of my bosses why they shouldn't be "offended" by an "offense" I had committed early that week. The boss in question is claiming that, during the meeting, I called all of my co-workers "low-life scum," when all I did was attempt to explain why I don't like my current career field and why I didn't feel comfortable talking to my co-workers about my personal problems. At no point did I ever call anyone "low-life scum." At most, I pointed out that my job seems to attract a higher-than-average number of goons, which is supported by the statistics showing that my work center typically leads the squadron in discipline problems.

Maybe I wasn't at my most articulate at the time, but, seeing as how I was being stared-down by an entire room full of officers, I was too busy sweating through my shirt, gazing at the carpet, stuttering, and developing a rash (that took the whole weekend to go away) to channel Winston Churchill.

Unfortunately, the offended party is now going around saying I said things I never said, which I wouldn't care about, but this dude is also attempting to torpedo what's left of my career, and since he out-ranks me, everyone automatically believes him.

Anyway, this kind of thing has been happening a lot lately, and the more I try to explain myself, it seems the more people get offended. Everyone just talks so fast that I can't keep up, and then they glean "implications" out of every statement I make, or they don't bother asking for clarifications before jumping to unwarranted conclusions and getting their panties in a wad. Well.......I'M SICK OF IT! As far as I'm concerned, this dude is acting like a whiny toddler, and I apparently just don't have the requisite intelligence to anticipate how every person could possibly misinterpret every little thing I say in order to make my statements as "user friendly" as possible. Blah.

So, does anyone else ever just get plain tired of always having to re-explain and apologize for the social missteps they're accused of making?

YES! I rant about that allllll the time! I'm SO SICK of apologizing!! !! !

I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this!

It's bad enough when daily interactions feel like wandering into a minefield, but it's truly horrible when someone who knows your condition purposely takes advantage of it for personal gain. When I was taking ritalin for ADD, my ex used to wait for my meds to wear off before picking fights with me.

I'm new to WP, but from what I can see, this whole forum seems to be dedicated to accepting ourselves as is and unapologetically. I think we should expect the same and accept no less from the people around us. Also, apologies are a two-way street. Perhaps someone should be apologizing to you.

Don't apologize then.

If you constantly have these types of misunderstandings, and constantly have to deal with hostile co-workers, I suggest you look into self employment.

I'm tired of all that stuff, too. So now I don't talk that much, and I also don't participate in hierarchies at jobs, or in life in general. Currently self-employed - I don't make much but I have little stress, which is more than worth it.


Also this is a tangent, but Fatal-Noogie, your avatar is incredibly disturbing to me - I even want to say I find it violently distrubing. I can't even read your posts without covering it up with my hand (but I still do it and read your posts - I'm not going to ignore your words because of an avatar). I mean no offense at all, and I'm not asking you to change it or anything - it's not your fault I find it disturbing. I just think it's interesting, how certain distorted face pictures creep me the hell out.

I totally understand that you´re sick of apologizing.

The truth is: you DON´t HAVE TO APOLOGIZE because if somebody feels offended by what you do or say it is just because this person has stored a concept or a belief of him or herself that makes them feel offended.

it´s not because of you! it´s just because they got hurt in the past and what you do is that you serve as a mirror for their unhealed emotions.

I love you all for who you are and what you do!

In your situation, it seems the fewer words you use, the better off. I try to not say everything in my head, it's an effort but better off. Office politics are certainly sick.